Holster: One of you gets the attic as dibs but I don’t know who to pick. So in order to get it, you have to come up with a better idea than chainsaw bullets.
Nursey: What about a gun that shoots mini sandwiches or something?
Tango: What about a gun that you can curve the bullets, so you can shoot around stuff?
Ransom: No, come on we need good ideas.
Whiskey: A gun that shoots another gun.
Holster: Ok getting bette–
Dex: A gun that shoots another gun that shoots chainsaw bullets.
i’m not overly protective of star wars but when people say to watch the prequels first for story purposes I cringe because no no no you gotta watch it 4 5 6 1 2 3 okay
THANK YOU
actually
and I recognise this may be controversial
you gotta watch it 4 5 1 2 3 6
yeah read that again
I am saying you gotta watch the prequels after Empire
here’s why:
you get the backstory on Vader immediately after the ‘I am your father’ reveal
you get to drag out the suspense of Han being frozen in carbonite
you don’t immediately ruin the impact of Vader as a villain by starting out with what an awful whiner Anakin was
you also don’t leave Return on the Jedi on a confusing note of ‘wait who the hell is that other ghost’ if you watch the original trilogy in its entirety before hitting the prequels
you aren’t left feeling shitty by ending your marathon on Revenge of the Sith and instead get to close out with the potentially insipid but undoubtedly joyous celebration at the end of the Battle of Endor
basically if you’re going to include the prequels at all you need to incorporate them as a mid-story flashback
okay that’s all
i watched star wars for the first time in the 4, 5, 1, 2, 3, 6 order and let me tell you, imho, that is the absolute best way to get the story out of th emovies.
it makes return of the jedi that much more poignant and good and like spook says, doesn’t leave on your final marathon note being revenge of the goddamn sith
What if women had minstrel cycles instead of menstrual cycles? You’d just have a guy with a lute follow you around for a week every month and play you songs constantly?
#no but can you imagine if that was how you learned once a month you weren’t pregnant#by some dude singing songs about the victory of it#you wake up and he’s there and you are so happy#this dude becomes your favorite dude#but then you realize you haven’t seen your friend’s minstrel in a while#I mean everyone notices#like half the people are on the same cycle so for one week out of four your job is just flooded with fucking minstrels everywhere#the cacophony#but Mary over there is all alone#and she’s like my minstrel is late#but we all fucking know#her minstrel has gone off to find her a baby#a nine month journey he must make alone#and until he comes back there is no music in her life#what a glorious world this would be#I love the minstrels (@onionjuggler)
1) that much eyeliner but you couldnt be bothered to fill in your brows.
2) your mask is off you dont HAVE to drink water like that
3) why do u look like they forced you to be there. No matter where you are
4) why is your hair so pointy. You wear a helmet.
1) No one taught him how to do his makeup properly. He probably watched a ton of youtube makeup tutorials and just never thought about filling in his eyebrows. Buddy, you got a whole new world that’s gonna open up for ya
2) He’s channeling Braden Holtby shhhh. He probably idolizes Holtbae and wants to be just like him
3) He’s pretending to be Chill™ as goalies do but inside he’s completely unchill. To distract himself, he drinks some water
there’s a lot of evidence that the iliad and the odyssey were actually composed by a variety of poets through an oral tradition rather than just by one poet, so what if the homeric texts are actually just a very long game of D&D
homer, the dm: okay achilles, agamemnon has just taken away your war prize, what do you want to do achilles’ player: i roll to have a diplomatic conversation with agamemnon achilles’ player: *rolls a 1* homer: you throw the staff of speaking at agamemnon’s face and storm off to sulk with your boyfriend
Homer, the DM: Your beautiful Patroclus is dead. What do you do? Achilles’ player: I fight everyone. Homer, the DM: You can’t fight everyone. How would you even– Achilles’ player: *rolls a 20* I fight everyone. Homer, the DM: *sighs* Fine. You cut a path through the Trojan army, enemy dead strewn in your wake. Achilles’ player: How many? Homer, the DM: …lots. Enough to clog the friggin’ river with bodies. Achilles’ player: I fight the river. Homer, the DM: You. can. not. fight. the. river. Achilles’ player: *reaches for dice*
Homer, the DM: Okay guys, so the war’s over, you had a bunch of losses but you won in the end. Time to go home, let’s roll to see who gets there firs—
Odysseus’s player: I got a critical failure.
Homer: The cyclops asks you who you are. What do you do?
Odysseus’s player: I say, “Who me? I’m nobody.”
Homer: Roll for deception.
Odysseus’s player: I got a natural 20.
Homer: The cyclops now completely believes that your name is Nobody. He shouts for help from the other cyclops but they ignore him because he’s telling them that “Nobody hurt him.”
just moving along like everyone else 