you: what is it about hockey that’s so appealing? why are you so into it?
me:
you: holy shit
So I’m the guy who’s supposed to put the little rubber puck into the back of the net. Pretty simple. The only thing is, there’s a 6’5” monster wearing pillows standing in my way — and for some reason the dude can do full splits on skates. It’s insane.
High school cliques: the jocks, the theatre kids, the anime fans, the stoners, and the motley crew of weirdos who don’t seem to have any discernible commonality but are all inexplicably drawn to one another and feel a strange sort of kinship, who will all independently experience epiphanies a few years later when they realize they’re LGBTQ.
It occurs to me that one possible reason why I find fairies of the Fair Folk Beautiful and Terrible Kings and Queens Blah Blah boring and vaguely distasteful is that when you strip down all the glamour, they’re basically bored rich kids randomly fucking with average people for their amusement just because they can. Like I get that Spring Storms Made Flesh and Lords of the Secret World but if Kellyaghnn from PE invited you to a Victorian-themed party complete with 1000$-a-piece tiny hats at her sixteen-room mansion with all her immaculately spray-tanned friends who giggle about What Fools These Working Classes Be, and then when you ate a single raisin promptly told you that now you have to stay in her house and work as her servant for free for the rest of your life to pay it off, possibly while dressed as a farm animal, you wouldn’t respond by sighing dreamily about how she’s Beyond Good and Evil.
lisa simpson comes out to her parents with a 40-slide powerpoint presentation & a heartfelt, loving conversation which ends with them all crying and hugging. bart just rolls up with his boyfriend one day like “sup this is tyler. he’s terrible.” and then makes out with him in his treehouse for 4 solid hours
What about Maggie
maggie has three girlfriends and two boyfriends and they’re all in her band
reminder that The Simpsons canonically portrayed Lisa being in a polyamorous lesbian relationship so you can’t say that any of the above couldn’t have happened
instead of being from georgia, bitty comes from some little mud-soaked town off the Bayou Teche and he’s pretty decent at Cajun French, because moomaw insisted he keep the culture alive
so he gets excited when he finds out that he’s on a team with Jack, who speaks Quebecois cause they’re both forms of French so maybe they can talk??? it’ll be great and it’ll help with that homesickness
but then they try and have a conversation and it’s just a fucking disaster because Bitty is like “well okay some of the words he pronounces differently but otherwise it’s pretty easy to understand” and Jack is just like “…what the fuck, why are you pronouncing everything wrong??????” and eventually they just get into an argument over it and finally bitty just kinda huffs off and mutters
“ c’est sa couillon...”
and jack just calls back, “i understood that, toton!”
just moving along like everyone else 