And I don’t mean like attractive cute, I mean like baby otter cute. What if the stumble upon us and go “ohhhhh my god!!! Oh my god!!!! I’m dying this is- look at it! Look at them!!! Oh my god!!!”
We usually imagine having to come up with some Devils trade or unholy arrangement to get tech and trade with aliens, but the instant they see us the aliens immediately set out into conservation efforts. They’re like “their habitat is becoming harsh and unlivable for them! We have to save them!” And everyone just puts a picture of us next to this information and they all agree “Look at them! We have to save them!!” We become like the panda mascots of intergalactic conservation efforts.
Simultaneously, our main export is just streams, videos, holograms, and photos of us. Aliens lose their composure completely over videos of us sneezing or yawning or eating pop tarts or playing video games or taking care of our kids.
There are lines of aliens who would LOVE to have a human in their home or on their ship. It’s a little condescending (we’re not sure if we’re guests or well treated exotic pets) but still a good opportunity, and any human who wants can go to space at any time basically for free or even for profit, and the aliens will go out of their way to give you anything you ask for.
There are obvious downsides. We struggle to be taken seriously. While it’s usually shut down pretty quickly, every once in a while some alien group sees the demand for us and tries to start an illegal trade. But at the same time, it’s neat that somewhere out there is an alien (or usually a LOT of aliens) that would love you unconditionally, find every flaw and idiosyncrasy endearing, be worried about you and do anything they could to make you safe and happy. They work hard to make our planet and our personal lives better and don’t ask for anything in return. They just do it because they decided we are important and worth saving just for existing. It’s an odd relationship, and we’re not always sure what to make of it, but honestly it goes a lot better than we worried alien contact would.
I’m down to be a spoiled pampered alien pet.
It would be a lot easier to get “fixed.”
We’re all a bit confused by the cute human memes, which are usually just pictures of some random human with a phrase in alien cuneiform next to it, but which many of the aliens think are hysterical. Photos of the Lincoln Memorial are particularly popular for this for some reason, and it’s a little unsettling to see the alien spaceships with pictures of Lincoln plastered across their forcefields, saying “g+gnor’gax!” and the humor just doesn’t translate at all.
I mean, it’s not bad, exactly. Just…odd. And fortunately alien music is mostly outside our hearing range, so the sad commercials with the interstellar equivalent of Sarah McLachlan broadcasting over them, explaining how the humans are suffering at this time of rotation just look like a rather puzzling montage of normal people. It’s just the aliens get so sad when they see it and their temporal glands leak and it’s…well, a little messy.
I love the idea that we are SIMULTANEOUSLY batshit-bonkers space orcs and the alien equivalent of Red Pandas or kittens.
Like, “Oh they’re adorable!” “Yes, but for the love of zornax, don’t let one bite you! My pod-cousin lost a hand that way!” “Do you think they evolved this way to surivive the terrifying fauna on their world?” “I saw a holovid of one riding one of the so-called “moose” one time!”
#wait #we’re big cats #giant murder cuteness
Oh my god that’s exactly it! 😀
But imagine that last bit as two different groups. Okay, so to one species of alien we’re adorable, right? And to another we’re orcs. Imagine the conflict of those two cultures. Team Orc is talking to Team Cuddles about how useful we are on dangerous field missions and Team Cuddles LOSES THEIR SHIT.
“You sent my cuddle-fwumpkin WHERE?!? to do WHAT!?!”
“They’re uniquely qualified to explore dangerous territories that are uninhabitable to most lifeforms … ”
“I don’t caaaaaare! Hfjfjfj HD bf!!!”
Like, foreign policy issued specifically for the proper utilization of human laborers. How would human cultures engage differently in these circumstances? Like, in the US would people look down on the humans that hang out with Team Cuddles as looking for alien handouts? Would they be blamed when Team Orc humans don’t get taken seriously on expeditions?
Like, there’s so muuuuuch more to explore here.
Cue unscrupulous or ironic human merchant selling “Save the humans! (Collect the entire set)” stickers in various alien scripts and fonts.
It is essential, however, that discipline should not be practiced like a rule imposed on oneself from the outside, but that it becomes an expression of one’s own will; that it is felt as pleasant, and that one slowly accustoms oneself to a kind of behavior which one would eventually miss, if one stopped practicing it. It is one of the unfortunate aspects of our Western concept of discipline (as of every virtue) that its practice is supposed to be somewhat painful and only if it is painful can it be ‘good.’
talking about Rosie The Riveter, fun fact: while the We Can Do It picture has become the most-well known depiction of her in modern times, it wasn’t really a famous image when it was made–in fact, it wasn’t even intended to be her
the most famous depiction of Rosie The Riveter during WWII was probably Norman Rockwell’s painting
note what she’s resting her foot on
i fully support anti-fascist/anti-nazi butch lesbian rosie the riveter
huh i sure do feel like reblogging this for no particular reason today
this is y i generally hate kinksters despite being into all sorts of f*cked up stuff m’self bc they love imposing their gross personal sh*t on strangers
how about you let two people do what they want since it isnt actually effecting you in any way
treating a woman like a literal dog out in public does impact society. GREATLY. contrary to popular belief, we don’t live in a vacuum where our actions have no fucking consequences.
It’s just fucking rude and shitty to bring your kink play into a non-kink friendly public space because then you indirectly make everyone you come across a non-consensual part of whatever you are doing just by them being witness to it. It’s fucked up amateur hour bullshit.
Also lol at the ratty-ass dreads on the white dude. Fucking gross.
I’m physically naseuas
Imagine having to explain this to your child? This is so extra and unnecessary
yessssss i get to use this gif.
I’ve told this story before but whateves. When I worked at the pleasure chest a woman came running in one night, very worried and upset because a man who was cross-dressing was chained to the bike rack outside. She wanted me to call the police, but obviously I wanted to check on the guy first. Sure enough he was all in pink, chained to the bike rack. He told me he was perfectly fine. His Master was inside and he was more than happy to wait. Humiliation was a part of their play.
Now I’m kinky as shit, a sub and all. But this fucked me cause as a woman, cross dressing combined with humiliation leaves me feeling some type of way. And then you have the other customers who are being triggered and are genuinely in fear for this man’s safety.
He and his Master probably had a great night, but how many people who didn’t sign up to be a part of their scene went home feeling all fucked up about it? I know I did and frankly to me this most definitely violates the terms of Safe, Sane, Consensual because you are taking away other people’s ability and right to consent. In other words, you should actually keep your kinks to yourself.
Seriously, keep it in the dungeon/bedroom
Yeah. Wow. This.
the other day i was in the store with my son, who is four, and we turned into an aisle to see a guy choking a woman (presumably his girlfriend). without even thinking i turned my son around and said loudly, “HOLD ON OLIVER LOOK AT THE TORTILLAS AND COUNT HOW MANY THERE ARE” to see if the couple would do anything.
they looked at me and glared, and the girl eventually told her partner to let go of her neck and they left after i continued staring them down.
what would have happened if my son had seen that? seriously, how the fuck am i going to explain why youre choking your girlfriend next to the mac and cheese? he’s four. he doesn’t need to see that shit.
Basic rule: everyone in the scene needs to consent. Is everyone in the pic or above situations consenting??
No they are fucking not
Stop this shit
I had to have this conversation with a BDSM couple who came into my coffee shop once, her on a leash at two o’clock in the afternoon in pretty skimpy, fetish-y clothing. Basically, what I said was, “I am a huge part of your scene right now. The look on my face, my words, my thoughts, my feelings, they’re what’s fueling the very scene you’re playing out, so how are you going to tell me that everyone involved is consenting? You didn’t ask for my consent. I didn’t fill out a negotiation form. You don’t know my background, my history, my kinks, or my safeword, but you come into my place of work and expect to play out a scene with me without even asking?”
She was mortified. He tried to argue with me, but couldn’t continue once I said, “I do not consent to being part of your scene,” without exposing himself for the creepy “faux-BDSM covering for his abusive personality” loser that he was. And he was. I hate to be stereotypical, here, but he was wearing a trilby and a trench coat. In Arizona. In the summer.
A couple years later, I was at a fetish ball, outside smoking back when I used to smoke cigarettes. And while it’s not a crucial element to the story, I’m just going to say that the girl I was seeing at the time and I looked fucking awesome in our coordinated rockabilly dominatrix outfits. Anyway, I was a little drunk and smoking and here comes the exact same loser with a different young girl following half a step behind him and I maybe hollered a little too loudly, “Hey, sweetheart, you played out any scenes with non-consenting women in coffee shops lately, or did I just get lucky that time?” Because I’m an asshole who can’t keep her mouth shut.
I also once turned an aisle in the grocery store late one night to find a girl blowing her boyfriend next to the canned vegetables and I just said, “No. Nope. No. Put it away. No!” They both seemed mortified that time, at least.
But seriously, though, don’t do this shit. It’s rapey and gross. Not towards her, she might be into it, but towards me. Don’t do this shit because it’s rapey towards everyone else you’re making into unwilling participants in your sex games.
ALL OF THIS.
Just to forestall the “BUT WHAT ABOUT DEMONSTRATING MY RELATIONSHIP IN PUBLIC???” argument:
Do you normally call your partner “Mistress,” “pet,” “subhuman slimewom” or “Lord Dom of All Creation”? In public, more conventional pet names like “sweetie” or “dear,” said with the right tone of authority or reverence, can work just as well.
Take off anything that could set off a metal detector (and yes that includes cock cages ffs) before traveling on an airplane. Don’t randomly grab someone’s neck or go down on them or lead them around on a leash in public.
This is fucking basic shit. It’s no less kinky to be stealth, and it’s smarter, safer, and fucking more respectful.
And if you really, really want to be watched while you’re collared or lead around or whatever? Spend the fucking money and go to a fetish event. Otherwise it’s not “demonstrating your relationship,” it’s “weirding out vanillas gets me off.”
And its demonstrating you care little about consent or safe practices. As has been said, if everyone isnt consenting, youre doing it wrong
yeah, this isn’t kink shaming. i have a massive collar/leash kink. just don’t fucking do this in public, because … basically, all the things above. and it’s just … it’s forcing people to look at your foreplay, and that’s just really upsetting and gross and could you PLEASE not do it?
These are the folks who talk such big game about BDSM being ‘safe, sane and consensual’ but sure as hell don’t give a fuck about those around them, just themselves.
Fuck this couple.
This is actually very important for anyone thinking of bdsm play outside the bedroom:
Keep it stealth mode, because no one except you and your partner consented to see that shit.
This is long, but it’s so important.
Please read xo
no, don’t ‘keep it stealth mode’, just don’t do it. you have no idea how obvious you’re being. do not do any part of your domination scene in public.
not that i should have to put anything personal on the line to be heard, but humiliation is a HUGE trigger for me. i don’t have to see your collar and leash to get freaked out. if you’re walking meekly two steps behind your partner with your eyes downcast and they’re giving you orders, i’m freaking out. you could both be wearing t-shirts that say CONSENTING ADULT and i’d still be freaking out.
you know why public bsdm play is different from queers holding hands? because holding hands is a healthy, affectionate gesture. your kink scene is simulating an unacceptable behavior. the fact that it’s simulated makes it a kink rather than abuse, but just like playing with toy guns in the street, your pretendy funtimes can really upset people.
i don’t judge you for getting off on transgressiveness. go on with your bad self. enjoy! but do NOT put it in front of people who a) did not consent to play with you, and b) may consciously or subconsciously see it as genuine cruelty or violence.
Right now you can go and take our followup, the Fansplaining Definitions Survey! We’re trying to come to a collective definition of “fanfiction” as a word (among other things.
Go take the survey now! Then, spread it to as many people as you can. Last time we got over 7,000 respondents—let’s see if we can top it!
Guyyyyyys. We’re SO excited about this survey but we can’t do it without you sharing it—not just with your fanfic friends, but with everybody you know. Help a fangirl out?
Take this survey, guys – this is fascinating!
Yes it is! Among other questions on how to define fanfic, there’s a section on ‘does this (published? i’m not sure about all of them) work count as fanfic’ and I was surprised at how few I had heard of, and even the ones I’d heard of I didn’t know enough to give an opinion
Anyone who can, please take this survey! Agreed on “never heard of this” for many of the examples of fanfiction, which goes to show that there are lots of little niches for everyone everywhere and knowing all about our own corner of Fandom certainly doesn’t exhaust the possibilities.
I googled for the published texts I didn’t recognize (most I found I understood at least as a type after reading their Goodreads page, etc) and then tried fitting them into my written definition of fanfic on the previous page of the survey…it was tough, but super enlightening.
I was thinking about Jon Ronson’s book about public shaming and about recent debates about political tactics and something came together:
When making arguments about ethics, white men consistently ignore power as a lens of analysis. For many of them, actions are either right or wrong regardless of power differentials between the people involved, the stakes for those with less power, and the options they have available to them.
Protesting to have Milo disinvited from your campus therefore becomes *just as bad* as Milo’s own actions towards marginalized people, despite the vast disparities in harm done and options available. (This is not a strawman. When y’all say, “This makes you just as bad as them,” that’s literally what you’re saying.) That Milo’s talk, as planned, would’ve caused serious, measurable, and irreparable harm to specific students, and that protesters had exhausted all “proper” channels for months beforehand, doesn’t seem to matter in this analysis.
All that matters is the specific action taken. “Preventing a person from speaking.” “Destroying property.” “Public shaming.” These actions are seen as unethical regardless of who did them and why, what consequences they face if they do not take these actions, and what other options–if any–they have available.
I keep coming back to MLK’s quote about riots being the language of the unheard. For the most part, people resort to tactics that fall into ethical grey areas because other tactics are unavailable or have already failed. I’m sure that there are people who do so despite having better options, just as there are always people who act unethically in other ways.
But unfortunately, for an outside observer with no skin in the game, it’s very hard to tell whether or not that’s the case. I saw so many posts patronizingly chiding Berkeley students for not trying other tactics before protesting and/or destroying property (although most did not destroy property, and the oft-used phrase “violent protest” implies much more than that). They had no idea of the lengths to which the protesters went to utilize “appropriate” means to keep themselves and their community safe. It didn’t work. They remained unheard.
Any ethics that ignores the role of power will privilege the powerful. Our Republican members of Congress don’t need to riot, set fires, and block the streets in order to get what they want. They do appropriate, ethical things like draft policies and have debates and vote. Because they have the power to. The specific actions they take–drafting policies, debating, voting–are not seen as inherently unethical things to do. Yet they’ve destroyed lives, families, and communities. They’ve achieved a level of destruction that even the rowdiest masked protesters never could, not that they’d want to.
“Any ethics that ignores the role of power will privilege the powerful.”
