staroidi:

How I Teach Men Not To Talk Over Me: from one feminist to another, when basic respect is lagging and conversations are impossible

I’ve done this to several men, and they catch on rather quickly. You’ll be able to have a conversation right then and there, and it works long term too – they might’ve forgot their manners by the time you talk to them again, but by repeating this, they’ll eventually learn to let you talk without you having to do this at the start of every convo. Source: I have a very stubborn older brother, who eventually learned too.

1. When they interrupt you, stop talking. Don’t try to raise your voice or battle them. Be completely quiet and wait.

2. Ignore everything they’re saying. Do not actually listen – just wait until they shut up. Don’t make a point of anything they say, do not answer to anything they say, do not refer to anything they say here. Literally do not listen a single word. Let them rant as long as they want.

3. When they finally shut up and wait for your reaction, say: ”I wasn’t done talking.”

4. Start over whatever you were saying when they interrupted you. I don’t care if it was a 10-minute explanation of rocket science. Start. Over. Repeat you original thought, but do not add anything related to what they just said while talking over you. That gives them the idea that it’s okay to interrupt you, you’ll still listen and pay attention and they’ll get their point clear without having to listen to yours. (It’s especially funny when you get done and they expect you to keep going talking about whatever they talked over you. The face when it sinks in that you didn’t listen a single word is glorious.)

5. If they interrupt you again, return to step 1. If you find yourself repeating the cycle over 3 times, tell them: ”you’re not letting me speak. Either you listen and wait for your turn, or our conversation ends here.” If they try to make excuses, laugh it off or keep interrupting, end the conversation. Prove them that if they wont let you speak, they’re not worth your time.

Why does this work? First, because sometimes talking over is internalized and men don’t actually notice they’re doing it. Being vocally called out makes them realize it and pay attention to it – especially if it happens more than once. Secondly, by refusing to aknowledge anything they say when they interrupt you, they’ll soon realize they will not get their own point across if they keep doing that. Peoole and especially men have the need to be heard and paid attention to when they talk – when you make it clear that by talking over you, they will not have your attention, they’ll learn to wait until you’re done, because they know that’s when you will be paying attention and actually listening.

Go my darlings. Have some actual conversations where your point of view is just as valid as his. Demand the basic respect of being heard. You can actually have some interesting conversations with men when they’re forced to listen too, when being louder is not going to make them feel like they’re dominating the conversation or winning the argument.

obtrta:

prismaticprince:

frodo and sam’s love for each other is literally the only thing keeping middle earth from just spontaneously combusting

No, but like, that’s literally it. Gandalf straight-up says to Elrond this Quest can’t succeed by force or wisdom, but by friendship. If Frodo and Sam hate each other even a little, Middle-Earth is doomed.

And it gets more terrifying when you realize that one of the strongest powers of the Ring is to turn people against each other, and that even if it didn’t, the Ring and the Quest still put Frodo in a psychological state where he can barely keep himself sane, let alone love anyone or anything other than the Ring. In fact, I’m fairly sure the Ring tried to persuade Frodo to kill Sam far more often than the books shows – the Ring tends to encourage murder, from what we see. Instead of listening to the Ring, Frodo somehow manages to keep in the back of his mind that he can trust Sam more than he can trust himself, and I have no idea how Frodo can resist the temptation to think his trust is misplaced.

And sure, one could say, “Oh, but Sam has to understand it, so it’s not all that bad” but you have to remember Sam is a plain, non-Tookish hobbit with no inclination or skills for adventuring around and yet he has to become the entire Fellowship. Name one thing the Fellowship did for Frodo that Sam doesn’t also do. He has to advise, guide and protect him as well as keep his hope alive and remind him of who he is. The amount of pressure he’s under is incredible, and unlike, say, Aragorn, he has no experience to draw from. Plus, Merry and Pippin tend to rely on each other, while Frodo relies on Sam, but Sam himself hardly seems to have anyone to turn to for strength. I’m not saying Frodo doesn’t support him as well as he’s able – actually, Frodo is remarkably consistent about taking care of Sam from Book I to Book VI. But what Frodo is capable to offer (see the paragraph above) is far from being all that Sam needs. And actually, in the last stages of the Quest, Sam is basically living a one-sided relationship under the worst possible conditions, and that his devotion doesn’t even waver despite that just blows my mind.

That the Quest was successful is one of the most incredible and beautiful things that Tolkien wrote. Frodo and Sam walked straight into the Land where no love can exist and managed to become closer to each other than they had been. It’s the biggest fuck you Sauron probably ever got. No, seriously. Frodo and Sam beat a Maia basically by cuddling a lot and talking about food. Like, what the fuck??? I mean, if I told you someone could write a 1000 pages novel in which a pacifist and his gardener beat a minor god via supporting each other emotionally, would you believe me? 

It’s classic Tolkien: the surprise element (i.e. flawed creatures can be incredibly noble even under unspeakable distress) might overcome even the most carefully thought out plots devised by powerful evil lords. (See also: the entire Silmarillion, pretty much.)

cellartater:

mackincaid:

bubblesthewaterbender:

gelfling:

cockyhorror:

rosie-girl:

gotitforcheap:

this is so wild, this guy thought his landlord was going into his house and leaving him post-it notes but he just had an extreme case of carbon monoxide poisoning 

Modern ghost story

Did reddit save this dudes life

What the fuck

NO BUT I READ THIS WHOLE THING ONCE.

he got the CO detector out, saw that it was in dangerous levels (there was a problem with an underground parkade in his building, iirc), calmly went “shit”, and went to the hospital. If he didn’t get that advice, he would most likely be dead now.

The best part? He didn’t get a webcam app or anything. He just made a folder, called it Webcam, and called it a night in his carbon monoxide induced delirium.

This is honestly one of my favorite Reddit stories.

That was completely wild. This is also one of my favorite explanations for both historical and modern tales of haunted houses.

In the story of that historical incident, the 1921 “Mrs. H” account, they experienced many of what we think of as the really classic signs of a haunting. Aside from moving into a run down, semi-creepy house – that’s how these stories always start, right? – they experienced things like mysterious noises as if someone was violently rearranging the furniture in the middle of the night. They heard voices, felt as if they were being watched or followed, heard tapping in the walls. And it was as if there were ghosts acting on them physically: shaking the bed, holding them down, yanking away the sheets. “Mrs. H” sees ghostly figures sitting at the foot of her bed, and describes them in detail. And it all turns out to be a carbon monoxide leak: the furnace is fixed, and the haunting immediately comes to an end.

What’s scariest about carbon monoxide IMO, and what’s really illustrated by that reddit story, is how quickly and thoroughly carbon monoxide poisoning can just disconnect you from reality. You think you’re taking appropriate action and thinking clearly and remaining essentially yourself, while half of what you’re doing, pretty much all of what you’re experiencing, turns out to be sheer hallucination. It has to seem so real on every level, but none of it is. It’s scary to think how easily our entire perception of the world can just be wrong, and we have absolutely no concept of it.

(My other favorite explanation for hauntings is infrasound. I don’t necessarily disbelieve the idea of some sort of life after death or things like that, I try to maintain an open mind because our understanding of our universe is seriously not as thorough as we’d like to think, but the scientific possibilities for what could cause the symptoms and sensations of a haunting are completely fascinating. Like who would’ve figured you could get such vivid, convincing, visceral effects from something as obscure as sound outside your ability to actively hear, or gas you can’t detect.)

hey all, firefighter here, i seriously cannot stress enough how important it is to have CO detectors. this guy absolutely would have died if someone hadn’t suggested carbon monoxide poisoning. it can and will kill you without warning – you probably won’t even realize it’s happening. do yourself a favor and get a detector, especially if you live in a cramped and poorly ventilated home or apartment, they’ll save your life

sweethoneydew:

I hope 2018 is gentle and kind to you. I hope you get to rest from the pain and suffering of breaking through your shell and begin to experience the bliss and joy of blossoming. I hope you are kind to others, and I hope you also remember to be kind to yourself. I hope you are able to heal from everything you’ve been through the past few years. I hope you are able to let go of all the pain you’ve been carrying in your bones and in your heart. I hope this is the year that makes you so grateful you’ve kept going through the nights you thought you couldn’t make it. I hope this is the year that will make you say it was all worth it, all of the pain you’ve felt and dark times you’ve been through. I hope this is the year you rediscover your light.