durnesque-esque:

durnesque-esque:

durnesque-esque:

durnesque-esque:

durnesque-esque:

durnesque-esque:

durnesque-esque:

durnesque-esque:

My little sister’s boyfriend is trapped in the bathroom. (photo of him is taken from the window)

My dad, brother in law, and Sean ( thatseanguyblogs) are trying to rescue him, but the handle is too fancy to just take off.

They’ve passed him tools to take it off from the inside.

But the lock mechanism is still stuck.

The window doesn’t open, so he’s trying to take the door off its hinges… only accessible from the inside.

Despite his plight, he’s still quite positive.

The last pin won’t come out…. My dad just slid him a crowbar

HE’S BEEN SAVED!!!! 

My mom just PUSHED THE DOOR OPEN…. >.> (my dad and brother-in-law had worked the lock free just enough)

Freedom is sweet… and HILARIOUS

The greatest irony??? He had just helped my parents fix the door hinges tighter THIS AFTERNOON!

2 years ago tonight my little sister’s boyfriend was trapped and subsequently rescued from the bathroom. 

Annual reblog of the trapped boyfriend story. He’s now really trapped in our family – they got married and had a baby.

hrovitnir:

rokirovka:

theminism:

raveger:

enrique262:

captain-price-official:

marcommarco:

inzertbreaks:

tomroughneck:

Meanwhile in Russia

annyi.

gente decisa

The bigger vehicle has right of way.

Russians cannot into chill.

This is what I call a satisfying video

@rokirovka blease tell me what these poor benighted motherfuckers are saying

@theminism tbf speakers 1 and 2 seem like pretty reasonable people… i can’t really translate much of what the benighted motherfuckers involved are saying since they’re farther away (and swearing is hard to translate) but here goes nothing lmao just for you

speaker 1: What, they can’t drive out of each other’s way?

speaker 2: It looks like they can’t drive out of each other’s way. There’s not enough space. And they’re fighting.

speaker 1: They should have just pulled off and let the excavator go first.

speaker 2 [interrupting]: Of course.

speaker 1: What the heck are they doing over there

speaker 2: What the heck

speaker 1: Woah woah what the heck okay wow

speaker 2: What the hell [gets out of car] Hey, hey guys! What the f[this is where the beep comes in] are you doing!

speaker 3: Don’t take pictures!

speaker 2: I’m filming!

speakers 3 and 4: [inaudible] Don’t take pictures! Put the phone away!

speaker 2: Guys, calm down!

[the reckoning arrives]

speakers 3 and 4: [general yelling] No no no! f[beep]! Wow! Wow! [yelling continues inaudibly]

speaker 2: Wow guys! [laughs] Fuck, dudes! Wow you messed up! [laughs] now that, man, is a fuck up! Motherf[beep]! Get ‘em!

Oh man, thank you so much for the translation.

jumpingjacktrash:

sleepyteafish:

dhades-diaferia:

dmiqueles:

meemimajuri:

piedude:

jumpingjacktrash:

onceuponamirror:

memesandshipsgalore:

beckyhop:

dixon-arrows:

moldychesee:

narwhal-noir:

pajarosdelamancha:

jamesandlilys:

digitalfare:

orriculum:

svynakee:

thirdtimecharmed:

altonzm:

french recipes: if you’re not making this in paris then what’s the point. fuck you

italian recipes: use the left leg meat of a pig from one of three farms in this specific area of tuscany, or from this day my grandmother will begin manifesting physically in your house

american recipes: buy these three cans of stuff and put them in a pan congrats you cooked

chinese recipes, as handed down from mother to child: season it with a pinch of this and some of that. you want to know the exact amount? feel it in your heart. ask the stars. yell into the void. 

English recipes: boil and salt it. Okay that’s it enjoy

Greek recipes: You followed all the right steps but this isn’t quite right. I don’t know what to tell you.

Australia recipes: chuck it on the barbie

Latinx recipes: you will never make it better than your abuela, face the facts

Armenian recipes: spend eight days laboring over the stove. the food will be flavorful with the sacrifice of your sanity. no one will appreciate it.

Canadian recipes: It either needs more bacon, more maple syrup, more gravy, or an unholy combination of the three

Polish recipes: you have to toUCH THE DOUGH, FEEL THE PIEROGI IN YOUR HEART, TOUCH IT. LICK IT. SMELL IT.

Every time I see this post, I learn more about how different countries’ cuisines AND neuroses.

Indian recipes: there are 500 cuisines and that means 500 versions of this dish that has 500 spices so gl 

ashki jewish recipes: no, no. no. more onion. 

internet recipes: here is a heartwarming story about my baby sister’s third birthday that i completely made up, and a copypaste from alton brown.

Irish recipes:

Finnish recipes: normal homecooked food but with imported ingredients because nothing grows here (expect like 2 months a year) ‘cause it’s so cold.

Chilean recipes: just need cheese, bread and ham. Congratulations, u did it

Me recipes: instant ramen noodles + boiled water. Congrats myself. I did it without burning myself.

having that terrible memory of when I burnt Ramen in the microwave… thankgods i have come a long way from that

american recipes revisited: 13 amazing ways to cram a vitamin down your neck between your second and third jobs!!!!