prokopetz:

val-ritz:

prokopetz:

greenfrostfurry:

prokopetz:

To be fair, the whole “anarcho-capitalist nerd accidentally reinvents public transportation” thing isn’t restricted to that particular side of the aisle; I have, on multiple occasions, watched an anarcho-communist nerd accidentally reinvent centralised government.

“On multiple occasions”

Oh, come now, like you’ve never been trying to talk out the solution to a thorny social problem and suddenly realised that you’ve invented federalism.

Democratic-Republicans don’t interact.

words-writ-in-starlight:

Listen, I’m watching the animated Batman series for the first time and I just gotta make a real quick observation.

Millennials are all fucking reckless nihilists, so there’s definitely that one time in Gotham where Harley and Ivy hold up a bank and some twenty-something pops their head up from the floor like “Hey, Miss Ivy–no, don’t shoot me, I just have a question–I’ve been trying to grow roses and they’re just not doing well, I’ve tried everything”.  Batman shows up ten minutes later to Ivy sitting on the floor and having a serious conversation with some random kid about soil nitrogen content and what gypsum content the Gotham area tends to have.  Harley’s kicked back on the bank counter playing tiddlywinks with a roll of pennies while the hostages shoot nervous glances at each other and try to figure out if they’re gonna be shot for getting up off the floor.  The twenty-something is still lying on their back and Ivy’s sitting next to him.

“Hey, Bats,” Harley says happily, and waves to him.

“Hello, Harley.  Ivy, I don’t mean to interrupt, but you are doing something illegal here.“

“We didn’t even take any money, now be quiet, I’m explaining how to acidify soil.”

nhl teams as john mulaney quotes

csheary:

habs: theyre a group of french assholes slowly taking over america humiliating audience members one by one

yotes: 🎵and life is a fucking nightmare🎵

vgk: i’m new in town and it gets worse

canes: you could pour soup in my lap and i’ll probably apologise to you!

ducks: too old to be a duckling quack quack

blues: 

They’re like ‘does that work?’ I’m like ‘it didn’t NOT work.’

leafs: eighth graders will make fun of you but in an accurate way.

kings:  it is 100% easier not to do things than to do them.

devs: i was just a young motown singer. i was just shiny and dumb and easy to trick. 

sens: I look like I was just sitting in a room in a chair eating Saltines for like 28 years and then I walked right out here.

pens: you have the moral back bone of a chocolate eclair

oilers: hm gross. mop it up.

flyers: im really sorry about last night, it’s just that im mean and loud. it probably will happen again

preds:  He grabbed a 40, smashed it on the ground, and yelled “SCATTER!”

caps: something happened here. you hope it was a miracle. probably not.

bruins: Would like an old turnip that we found in a cabinet?

avs: You ever have those days where something happens and you’re like… Whatever, this may as well happen?

stars: *mooing angrily*

isles: 28-year-old healthy man trying his best

sabres: With three children and nine on the way, and a max budget of $7…

sharks: one dude took a running start and threw his body onto the pool table and broke it in half

bolts: and i thought ‘i’ve never climbed a fence that high before!’ and a woke up at home

wild:  cause you’re never too young to learn our national no snitching policy

rangers: its a grid system mother fucker!

cbj: she is so fucked up she calls the head the top part

canucks: we were a swell bunch of kids in group 2

jets: fuck. da. police.

wings: don’t get me wrong, i’m unhappy,

panthers: somoene took a shit on my dad’s computer

flames:  I have had a very long day. I am very small. And I have no money. So you can imagine the kind of stress that I am under.

thefeelszone:

epersonae:

anonymousalchemist:

i feel like the two modes of writing fanfic are: 

“hmm this seems to be a thing the fandom wants and i enjoy writing it” 

and 

“fuccccckckkkkkkk you all im gonna write this EXTREMELY niche and specific content that i wanna read” 

Look, this is my niche and I’m happy here. (Altho at this point? Is it niches plural?)

Finding Family is the second one ALL THE WAY