I was at my cousin’s house for a family barbecue and she shushed us all bc her neighbor ‘The Captain’ was walking by with a dog, and he was just some skinny guy with a long ponytail and a captain’s hat walking an irish wolfhound so we all like ‘what’s the big deal’ but she told us to wait and then like ten minutes later he passed again on his way back to his house but he just…had a different dog. it was like a cocker spaniel. she said every day he leaves the house with the wolfhound and comes back with the tiny dog and she’s never seen them get returned either way. she can never find out where he walks to. shes been watching him for years. my family was freaking the fuck out one of my other cousins looked like he was about to have an aneurysm.
(for those not getting the ITIA SOTW, Kiro had a conversation with Parent at that dinner he had to hang up on David for, this conversation being witnessed by one Ulf Larsson)
In the briefest terms it can be summed up as this:
(obviously not verbatim)
Kiro: “I have been told a story, I suspect you are familiar with this story, I also suspect you are the least likely to give me the runaround on this”
Armand: “…I hate Lourdes.”
Kiro: “Can you confirm or deny that you were told of a romantic relationship between (1) Jacob Lourdes and (1) Davidson Chapman?”
Armand: “…Confirm.”
Kiro: “Are you aware if this was told without the express permission of said Davidson Chapman?”
Armand: “Fuck my life…yes, I am fairly sure it was not a conversation Chapman approved of.”
Kiro: “Is this the cause of the dissolution of the relationship between Jacob Lourdes and Davidson Chapman?”
Armand: “…I believe so.”
Kiro: “Has Jacob Lourdes mentioned anything regarding Davidson Chapman since this incident?”
Armand: “…Yes.”
Kiro: “Did this at any point involve the name of Kirill Volkov?”
Armand: “Yes. Also fuck this entire conversation.”
Kiro: “Was the name Kirill Volkov mentioned as a potential romantic partner to Davidson Chapman?”
shakespeare’s character descriptions/stage directions/contexts are so vague it makes me so happy. wanna make Laertes hamlet’s ex boyfriend? doesn’t say HE’S NOT. wanna make juliet a trans girl? WHERE IN THE SCIRPT DOES IT SAY SHE ISN’T??? fucking put King Lear in SPACE set that shit on the enterprise THERE ARE NO RULES IN SHAKESPEARE
The best part is that pretty much all of the fights are “they fight” with no mention of whether it’s with swords or throwing knives or kung-fu or if they just do the slappy-hands thing at each other.
the only rule in shakespeare is that a bear must show up in the winter’s tale. could be a grizzly. polar. panda. hell, antigonus could’ve wandered into a gay club.
if you give hamlet and laertes light sabers though i’m not sure how you’d do the poisoned sword schtick
writing advice: never italicize words to show emphasis! the busted-ass website you post your writing on will only display them like 40% of the time anyway!
just moving along like everyone else 