Albert grunted. “Do you know what happens to lads who ask too many questions?”
Mort thought for a moment.
“No,” he said eventually, “what?”
There was silence.
Then Albert straightened up and said, “Damned if I know. Probably they get answers, and serve ‘em right.
The more Jack drinks, the more his accent goes from Letang to Fleury…until he’s just steadily rambling in French and no one in the Haus can understand a word he’s saying.
Holster looks up from where he’s flicking through photos. “What’s up?”
“Bro.” Ransom elbows him, then nods his head to the ugly orange recliner where Jack has Bittle in his lap. He’s drunk, swaying a little, a crooked, green, sparkly party had perched sideways on his head, and he’s mumbling into Bitty’s neck.
Bitty’s just laughing and patting him and saying things like, “Okay sweetheart, whatever you say.”
And it’s not like they can pass this moment up, right? Because it’s Jack and not only will this be years of chirping material–which Holster thinks is only fair coughEstherScough–but also they could probably afford another two recliners with the fines they can charge when Jack’s sober.
So.
Holster fires up the camera and steps closer, only to sigh because Jack’s at the drunk stage where he’s not even speaking English anymore.
“Bittle…Je…” *hiccup* “Je t’aime. Il…il est…” *hiccup* He looks up and sees Holster there with the camera. Bitty’s still engrossed in his conversation with Chowder, but Jack doesn’t seem to care as he grabs Holster’s arm and drags him in closer. “Tu ne comprends pas! Tu…ne. Je l’aime. Je l’aime,” he lets out a noise suspiciously like a sob, and Holster turns to Ransom.
“Uh…”
Ransom shrugs.
“Il est mon futur mari. Il est trop beau.” He lets out a louder sob, releasing Holster’s arm so he can cling to Bitty. “Mon coeur bat pour lui.”
Bitty finally looks down, shakes his head with a grin, and pets Jack’s hair who goes quiet, smiling as he kisses Bitty’s neck over and over.
Holster, with wide eyes, turns back to Ransom. “Did you like…understand any of that?”
Ransom snorts. “Dude, no. But you know who Shitty invited to the group chat last week?”
Holster eyes him. “Oh shit. Bad Bob.”
Ransom nods. “Small enough to upload?”
Holster quickly edits the video, then clicks on Bob’s name, and starts up a private chat, typing: ‘Uh so how much chirping material do we have here, Mr Zimmermann? For science.’
Neither of them expect Bob to be awake, but the message comes in not five minutes later. ‘Tell Jack I expect invitations by the end of the Hockey season. This was a true gift. I’ll get you rink-side seats to any game you want, just say the word, boys.’
The pair look at each other, then Ransom scrambles for his own phone. “Fuck it. Google translate.” He types it in as best he can remember, and it pulls up, and the pair stare at each other.
“Bro,” Ransom whispers.
Holster just nods. “Bro.”
(dedicated to @nomorelonelydays for her tags. This is all your fault!)
It’s okay to draw fanart and write fanfiction that appeals to you, and you alone.
You’re allowed to ship whatever you want. Let me repeat this for emphasis: YOU ARE ALLOWED TO SHIP WHATEVER YOU WANT PERIOD.
Your own enjoyment and entertainment are valid reasons to write, draw, or consume something.
If this enjoyment takes the form of sexual gratification, that’s also a valid reason to writer, draw, or consume something.
Fiction does not have to be morally pure. Fiction allows us to explore things that we wouldn’t want to experience in real life, things like violence, sexual violence, drug abuse, sexual taboos, or kinks: all kinds of weird or disturbingt things, and that’s okay.
No, the narrative does not have to condemn these things explicitly.
You don’t owe other fans an explanation or apology for the things you enjoy in fiction
If someone asks you to reveal personal information, it’s okay to tell them to fuck off.
There’s no such thing as a fandom police. Whoever claims to have the authority to tell you what is or isn’t acceptable for you to enjoy, is just arrogating that right. Their strategy only works if you let them have this power, so don’t.
It’s up to each person individually to create a “safe space” for themselves.
Other people’s mental health is not your responsibilty.
Not wanting to hear about anyone’s personal trauma does not make you a bad person.
it is admirable to want to help people with your work, but you’re allowed to do work that only benefits yourself. in fact, a certain amount of self-serving activity is necessary for your mental health. write what you like, because you like it.
pay for the boy’s froyo, really listen to his problems without mocking him, but when he stops being sad flirt with him to oblivion
did i forget: just sign your huge nhl contract but still take that boy out and listen to his oven woes.
#you know why jack hates when bitty starts tweeting#BECAUSE HE STARTS PAYING ATTENTION TO HIS PHONE AND STOPS PAYING ATTENTION TO JACK#“pay attention to meeeeee” jack says “look i’m chirping you! look at me! what’s so interesting?? you could be talking to me!!!!” (x@jacksbits)
Jack comes out of an outpatient knee surgery about 6-7 years into their marriage (maybe a decade after they get together) and like Bob, Alicia and Bitty are waiting in the family area. And like Bob and Alicia come and check on him after he’s been placed in a room to come of anesthesia but he isn’t awake yet so they go get food for all them while Bitty waits with him.
Jack comes around, blinking blearily and is like “Oh, hey.” with his heavy accent.
“Hi” Bitty says back grinning.
Jack tries to sit up.
“No no, sweetie, you need to stay put,” Bitty says gently pushing him back.
“Why?”
“Cause you just had knee surgery honey,” Bitty says.
At this point Bob and Alicia come back and Bob is so amused he starts filming. (apparently he also had some sort of corrective surgery at some point (he’s a pro- athlete after all) and he says some wacky shit but this was before people had recording devices in their pockets, but Alicia has Stories™)
“Hey there champ, how are you feeling?” Bob says patting his shoulder.
“Pretty good, especially since I have a cute nurse,” Jack stage whispers gesturing vaguely towards Bitty.
“That so? Do you want me to introduce you?” Bob says to him, laughter in his voice.
“Yeah, that’d be great,” Jack whispers louder this time, looking up at Bob seriously.
“Okay champ, this is Eric Bittle, your husband” Bob says grinning.
“Hey there Eri- Wait what?”
“Eric “Bitty” Bittle, your husband,” Alicia repeats.
“What?” Jack ruminates on this looking back at Bitty who is sitting on the foot of his bed facing him. “Woah”
“Really?” he asks.
“Really,” Bitty pipes up.
“Wow,” Jack ruminates on this some more. “When—How— How long have we been married?” Jack asks.
“Seven years, sweetheart, it’ll be eight in July,” Bitty says.
“Wow,” Jack says again. “You’re a looker though aren’t ya, eh?”
He gives a lopsided grin. Bitty gives a hearty laugh.
“But you’re the cutest guy I’ve ever seen.”
“Thanks, honey”Bitty smiles, blushing.
“Like, whoa, give me a spin,” Jack says, motioning with his hand with the cracker he’s been given, shaking a few crumbs everywhere.
“Jack!” Bitty blushes and laughs. “Let me go ask the nurse if you can have ice chips yet. Do you want some ice chips honey?” Bitty gets up to the door and turns to ask him.
“Woah, your glutes are perfect,” Jack answers. Alicia gives a high-pitched shout laugh and Bob guffaws.
“I’m gonna go get you ice chips sweetie, keep eating your crackers,” Bitty says, turning red and escaping out the door.
Jack turns to his dad. “I hit the jackpot.”
Bob smiles patting him on the shoulder again and says, “Yes you did son, yes you did.“
aries: broke a temple on the first meet, which later became crucial to defeating one of the major bosses.
taurus: created a small army of tamed animals to fight for them.
gemini: exploited the rules to get a rocket pack for another player.
cancer: tried to boss everyone around but ended up arguing with themselves.
leo: made shipping charts. for everyone. killed wild animals and ate them instead of bothering to buy rations.
virgo: became a vampire. somehow convinced the dm to let them wield a chainsaw.
libra: took lawful neutral to new levels. licked everything as a free action.
scorpio: pushed taurus off a cliff. twice.
sagittarius: used a bow the entire time, even though they didn’t have proficiency with it.
capricorn: fucked around for most of the campaign. somehow became part of the main villain?
aquarius: kept killing all of the npcs, even though they clearly weren’t supposed to.
pisces: had civil conversations with cthulhu.
Bitty comes out to his parents but he doesn’t tell them about Jack, thinks it’s for the best, maybe to ease his parents into things or maybe to keep the pool of People Who Know as small as possible
and like yeah Ransom and Holster are super oblivious but Suzanne Bittle is not, not when it comes to her son, because she is a certified Nosy Southern Mother and she can see he’s been acting differently, happier but quieter, always on his phone and blushing when she asks about boys
and he talks about the team a LOT
Jack’s one of his best friends and he’s just started his NHL career, so of course Bitty’s never gonna shut up about Jack
(Same goes for Shitty and law school. And eventually Ransom and med school. Dicky is proud of his friends and wants everyone to know. He gets that trait from Suzanne, she understands)
but he keeps talking about this one Boy, how sweet he is and how his smile is like a sack of puppies and how bitty’s always making this boy do things with him like baking and getting froyo and going shopping and Suzanne is like. Yes. This must be Dicky’s secret boyfriend.
the next family weekend or whatever, Suzanne demands to meet this Chowder boy who’s stolen Bitty’s heart
oh man oh man i am so ready to see when jack introduces bitty to the entire providence team and they invite him to skate with them and he skates fucking spinorama CIRCLES around professional hockey players and when they actually get to playing hockey they realize that fuck he’s actually pretty fucking good for an amateur and he’s putting them to shame with his speed and *clap on shoulder* “you did good, zimmermann” and jack KNOWS, he KNOWS oh man i’m so ready
just moving along like everyone else 