imagining your otp doing the forehead touch is literally the most important thing in the whole world. everybody take a second and stop scrolling and imagine your otp doing the forehead touch. okay. you can move on now.
there’s a very obvious difference in bitty’s height in these two panels and i need to know more about zimbits hugging like
does bitty jump at jack? does jack just catch him like the 110% he is? or does jack lean down and pick itty bitty up off the ground? look at bitty’s little socked foot in the corner he kicks his legs back and if that isn’t the cutest darn thing
there are so many ways this hug can play out and i need answers
I wish I knew how to draw so I could animate my answer but my hc is that Bitty jumps into Jack’s arms and Jack grabs him around the waist and leans back so Bitty is further into the air, which causes Bitty to lift his legs thus the reason why his foot is in the panel
for real though. summer is #bulkingseason for winter athletes. say jack wants to be at 215 at the start of the season, which is on the higher end of average for nhl players, but by the end of playoffs he’s at like 200ish, maybe 195. he’s gotta eat between 5500 and 6000 calories a DAY during the summer. he NEEDS to gain around 20lbs. athletes try to eat clean enough, but they for sure aren’t staying away from full-fat foods and dessert. if they eat TOO clean, they won’t get enough calories.
i know we joke about meal plans and “cheat days” and stuff but that’s not really how it works. athletes do have meal plans, but a lot of it is just outlining how much to eat, what kind of food to eat, and when. if he’s working out at 7 am, he’s got to wake up an hour early and have a his pre-workout meal – maybe a smoothie with some protein powder and some oatmeal. then immediately after his workout he’s going to be taking more protein. then a meal at noon – even if it’s just a couple hours after. he can’t just eat when he’s hungry. he’s got to have like 6 big meals a day + snacks, while working out a LOT. it seems like a lot to us normal folk, and it is, but remember he’s been conditioning himself for this since he was 15/16.
bitty too, because we often forget that bitty is one of the best athletes in his division, in a league that’s pretty much the level below nhl, where he played on the same line as jack zimmermann. he won’t be eating as much as jack but still easily in the 4000-calorie range. that means if they’re having bbq chicken for supper, jack’s going to be eating three chicken breasts and bitty two. or a 12 oz steak. four, five eggs for breakfast. tons of carbs and veggies. and dessert, for sure. and they go through protein powder like you wouldn’t BELIEVE.
what i’m saying is, it’s mama b’s and moomaw’s dream come true, and zimbits is a match made in food heaven. of course, it’s hella expensive to eat as a pro athlete so jack definitely slides coach some grocery store gift cards when the moms aren’t watching, and coach won’t say anything, because he knows.
source: my sister, with whom i lived this summer, is a division-1 CIS athlete (canadian equiv of NCAA) in one of the best soccer teams in the country AND a kinesiology student. and her boyfriend is one of the best weight-lifters of his weight-class in the province and also a kin student. she’s 5″ and weighs 125 pounds and while i’m slightly taller and weigh more than twice that, could not eat what she puts away. seriously. she eats all the time. so much. it’s ridiculous.
of course, post-retirement is a whole different ball game. can you say dad bod jack? hell. yes.
That video where like… Some lawn guy just hovers his hand over the grass and then ninja strikes into the dirt and pulls out a tiny wriggling mole… I probably think about it at least once a day… It viscerally affected me to the point of obsession… The absurd, outlandish claim and then the buildup and the suspense and anticipation and then the sudden shocking attack and the appearance of the mole?? So small and fat and cute?? I’m haunted by that video. I would cry if I got to hold a mole. Imagine wielding that kind of power. Being able to just stick your hand into the fucking dirt and pull up a mole. Sensing moles from beneath the grass and soil. I’m in fear and awe and consumed with envy. It looked like a kiwi. Tiny wiggling lump. I might cry just thinking about it.
This one… The way the mole’s little ass catches on the dirt and then goes boing… Its frantic wriggling… The guy’s fucking accent I swear to fuck…
Listen, do you guys know how long my soul has been captivated by this video? Years. Many, many years. The initial shock that coursed through me when I saw this video for the first time has obviously left a lasting impression upon my memory. When this strange English man ran his hand over the grass to psychically detect the intruder… and then fucking straight-up did a wuxia strike into the fucking dirt… and seemingly summoned a mole straight from the underground realm… my life was changed forever…
I keep going back to watch the part where he yanks the mole out and its little butt bounces. Tiny fat baby. The way its mouth opens and closes helplessly. The spread paws. The little ‘SKREEEE’ of shock. He pinches it between his fingers and it is powerless in his gentle yet firm grasp. Small furry dollop of wiggle. I can’t believe this man filmed himself just randomly plucking a mole out of the ground by scrying its location via preternatural, occult rural English telepathy. He has the Gift. I can’t believe real human beings walk around living normal everyday lives whilst secretly wielding this power.
I love reading fics about OTPs having mental bonds and things like that, but they’re always so profound. It’d be so much more entertaining if they still thought like normal people. Imagine this stuff:
“You’ve had that song stuck in your head for days. It’s driving me nuts, too.”
“Why are you making a grocery list in your head while we’re having sex?”
“Is that really what you think about my ass?”
“Stop projecting so much belligerent boredom. I love this TV show.”
“No, you didn’t forget to lock the door. You can quit fixating on it now.”
“Yes, that sounds much better in your head.”
“Is that really who you’re daydreaming about naked?”
“Less homicidal thoughts about your annoying coworker right now, please. I’m in a meeting over here.”
“It’s coffee you’re craving. Go get some. And bring me some. You made me want it, too.”
“Thanks for the road rage thoughts. I’ll take the back roads home. See you in an hour.”
“If you think ‘knit, knit, purl,’ one more time, I’ll stab you with those needles.”
I recently have become very taken with the idea of tater/snowy?? Honestly they would be so hilarious together, I can only imagine that Tater would tease Snowy all the time and Snowy would just be so. done. But he loves tater nonetheless and y’all know they fuck with each other so much during practice it’s great
I know this such an irrational thing to get mad over but when my headphones get caught on something and yanked out I legit have to take three seconds to freeze and contain my anger
Caveat: I’ve only been a massage therapist for about 7 months. But I’ve noticed that lots of people come in with the same issues, and I wind up giving the same stretches and exercises as “homework.” So I thought, why not tell everyone? Here they are:
You know that spot between your shoulderblades that gets tense all the time? Well, it’s not actually tense: it’s stretched. Those are your rhomboids and the pain they experience is the price we pay for using a computer, studying, driving a car, texting, and any other activity that involves our arms being out in front of us. That position brings our shoulders and our shoulderblades forward into protraction. That stretches out the rhomboids and causes them to tense up in an effort to counteract our slump.
What do? Take your arms out to the sides, Jesus-style. Now bend your elbows and try to bring them behind your back. Your forearms should still be out to the sides. You’ll kind of look like you’re trying to pick a fight with someone. Do 25 of these and you should be able to feel those rhomboids getting stronger, pulling your shoulders back where they should be.
2. “Write the alphabet with your nose” aka neck exercises.
Stiff neck? Tension headaches? You might be tempted to stretch. Don’t. Necks are super-prone to adhesions and trigger points, both of which can actually get worse if you stretch without warming up the muscles first. Next time you wake up with neck pain, try exercising it instead of stretching.
What do? My favorite is the alphabet exercise, in which you pretend the tip of your nose is a pencil and write the alphabet with it. Start off small with A and get bigger until the Z is huge. That takes your neck through a lot of different motions.
3. “Play superman” aka back extension exercises.
Hand-in-hand with the shoulder slump is the back curve. This usually presents as pain in the mid-back on either or both sides of the spine, in what’s called the erector spinae group (or ESGs in massage lingo). True to their Latin, the ESGs hold us upright–but when we’re slumping forward all the time they, like the rhomboids, get stretched out and weakened. Then when we go to lift something too heavy and bend over instead of using our legs, we get that eeeeeeak feeling in our back that is the ESGs informing us that this shit is not on.
What do? Lie on your front with your arms out to the sides. The picture above is kind of advanced: feel free to not have your arms out so far above your head, I only have my arms at a ninety-degree angle with my shoulders, frankly. Start off with maybe 20 reps of that motion and work your way up to 50 and arms straight out. Don’t overwork the muscles, but get them going.
4. “Cobra pose” aka psoas stretch.
You ever get that pain in your low back from sitting in a chair for a long time? That’s your psoas being a bitch. This stretch is a natural transition from the superman exercises. Really, it stretches a whole lot of things that need it, but especially the psoas muscles. The psoas attaches to the fronts of the vertebrae in the small of your back and run down through the pelvis to end up on the insides of your legs. It’s a waist flexor, which means that all that time you spend sitting down is teaching it to be short. Then when you go to stand up, it wants to STAY short instead of stretching, and the result is a sharp, powerful tug on your lumbar vertebrae and a helluva lot of low back pain.
What do? Lie on your front and rise up onto your elbows. You should feel a stretch in your abdomen. If you don’t, go up further onto your hands. If you still don’t, do this shit. Then get the fuck away from me. Jesus, what’s wrong with you? Do you not have a spine?
5. “Foam rolling your IT band” aka WHY GOD WHY DOES IT HURT??
I don’t know who made that picture but it is 100% accurate. See, there’s this swath of connective tissue (think tendons and ligaments) that runs down the sides of your thighs from your hips to your knees, called the Iliotibial Band, or IT band or ITB for short. The ITB, being sticky-wicky connective tissue, loves to get tangled up in everything around it, which is primarily the hamstrings and the quads. The adhesions that form along the whole length of the ITB prevent both these muscles groups from relaxing, and leads to all sorts of painful things, from torn hamstrings to kneecaps getting out of alignment and wearing down cartilage (thus necessitating knee replacements) to hip issues (gluteus maximus aka “the butt” feeds into the ITB). Basically it wants to fuck up your entire lower body.
What do? Well, if you’ve got a high pain threshold like the lady with the rictus grin in the picture, you can buy a foam roller and plop down on it like she is, then roll back and forth to your heart’s screaming, agonized content. If, however, your IT band is as sensitive as most people’s, I recommend getting a hard plastic water bottle (one that won’t crack and has a tight lid!!), filling it up with warm water, and using that instead. You can either assume the same position as above, or simply sit in a chair and rub it up and down your legs from hip to knee. Do it for about five minutes each day and that will relax the IT band as well as loosen the adhesions to the hamstrings and quadricep muscles. Stretch both those muscles afterwards for maximum benefit!
Again: caveat. I am by no means an expert at this. These are just the things that I’ve found to be most helpful for my clients. I take no responsibility if you injure yourselves actually doing these things, and especially no responsibility if you actually decide to foam roll your IT band. Seriously, that shit hurts.
Also hypermobile people in particular should be cautious of foam rollers. A physical therapist hecked me up once by having me use one on my upper back when my core muscles weren’t strong enough to deal with it safely.
just moving along like everyone else 