peoplegettingreallymadatfood:

rockybalboas:

peoplegettingreallymadatfood:

spaced0utcyd:

getsmashed:

peoplegettingreallymadatfood:

y’all… tangerines, clementines, and mandarins are all types of oranges. “no its a mandarin” “no theyre clementines” “no theyre tangerines” like. you’re trying to correct something by narrowing down instead. “im eating a steak for dinner” “um im pretty sure thats a T-bone” like. congratulations. you narrowed it down. also a tangerine is a type of mandarin orange funny enough, i could be wrong tho.

citrus discourse

Okay but they taste different???? Same thing with apples Gala apples are a disgrace red delicious is the shit

they certainly do taste different, among other differences, thus the distinction. but you can’t say a square isn’t a rectangle without being wrong.

ok but in the spirit of the op’s blog, gala apples are vastly superior to red delicious apples, as are basically every single apple ever, because red delicious apples are bullshit

Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! let the hate flow through you.

simonalkenmayer:

kikakattioi:

kingatticus:

jenroses:

explainingthejoke:

prehistoricsilverfish:

whomthegodswoulddestroy:

critical-perspective:

native-coronan:

triss19:

This is for all y’all who don’t understand how terrifying these suckers are. 

OHMYGOD IT’S ATTACKING THE STATUE OF LIBERTY SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING

I know just the man for the job.

This is a good joke. This is such a solid, quality joke.

@explainingthejoke ?

The initial image is a size comparison between the statue of liberty and a wind turbine. The wind turbine is over ninety feet (about 28 meters) taller.

A commenter pretended to misinterpret the image as one of a wind turbine attacking the statue of liberty. The next commenter answered with an image of Don Quixote, a literary character who once thought a windmill was a monster and announced his plans to fight it. They are joking that if a wind turbine attacked the statue of liberty, Don Quixote would be willing to fight the wind turbine.

Incidentally, that scene led to the English idiom “tilting at windmills,” meaning a person who has not only disproportionate reactions of anger, but disproportionate reactions of anger to nonexistent challenges.

So all those people who are fighting to preserve coal jobs and the fossil fuel economy are….

actually…

tilting at windmills.

I feel like this is one of the very few times where explaining the joke leads to another one that everyone can now understand and laugh at

This an amazing post

Why I never run out of amusement.

jumpingjacktrash:

anarcho-tolkienist:

anarcho-tolkienist:

wodneswynn:

scripturient-manipulator:

maramahan:

frodoes:

what she says: i’m fine

what she means: the words “christmas tree” are used in the hobbit, and since we know that bilbo is the author of the hobbit, hobbits must have christmas which means there must be a middle earth jesus. but hobbits seem to be the only ones who have the concept of christmas which means it was probably a hobbit jesus. but frodo says in return of the king that no hobbit has ever intentionally harmed another hobbit so who crucified hobbit jesus?? were there other hobbit incarnations of religious figures?? was there hobbit moses?? did jrr tolkien even think about this at all??

Wait wait I might actually have an answer

Tolkien wrote The Hobbit like waaaay before he even dreamed up the idea for Lord of the Rings, so when he DID dream up LotR, he had a whole bunch of stuff that didn’t make sense. Like plotholes galore

Like for example in the first version Gollum was a pretty nice dude who lost the riddle contest graciously and gave Bilbo the ring as a legit present and was very helpful and it was super nice and polite and absolutely nobody tried to eat anyone because this is a story for kids and that’s very rude

But that doesn’t work with LotR, so Tolkien went back and re-released an updated version of The Hobbit with all the lore changes and stuff to fix everything that didn’t work

This is the version we know and love today

BUT rather than pretend the early version never existed, Tolkien went and worked the retcon into the lore

If you pay attention in Fellowship, there’s a bit where Gandalf is telling Frodo about the ring and he mentions how Bilbo wasn’t entirely honest about the manner in which it was found

To us modern readers, this doesn’t make a ton of sense, so mostly we just breeze by it–but actually that line is referencing the first version of The Hobbit

The pre-retcon version of the Hobbit is canonically Bilbo’s original book. The original version with Nice Gollum is canonically a lie Bilbo told to legitimize his claim to the ring and absolve him of the guilt he feels for his rather shady behavior

Then the post-retcon version is an in-universe edited edition someone went and released later to straighten out Bilbo’s lies

So it’s 100% plausible that the in-universe editor who fixed up Bilbo’s Red Book and translated it from whatever language Hobbits speak was a human who knew about Christmas Trees and tossed the detail in to make human readers feel more at home, because that’s the kind of thing that sometimes happens when you have a translator editor person dressing up a story for an audience that doesn’t know the exact cultural context in which the original story was written

Tolkien was a medieval scholar and medieval stories are rife with that sort of thing, so like… yeah

There’s a good chance it maybe did cross his mind

@old-gods-and-chill LOOK AT THIS THAT’S SO COOL

Not only all that, but Tolkien was also working within a frame narrative that he wasn’t the real author, but a translator of older manuscripts; so, in-universe, the published The Hobbit isn’t actually Bilbo’s book, but rather Tolkien’s copy of an older copy of an older copy of an older copy of Bilbo’s book. So when errors and anachronisms came up, he would leave them there instead of fixing them, and he may have even put some in intentionally; what we’re supposed to get from the “Christmas tree” bit is that the first scribe to translate the book from Westroni to English couldn’t come up with an accurate analogue for whatever hobbits do at midwinter.

Yes. Another example of tolkien doing this is him using, for instance, Old High Gothic to represent Rohirric – not because the people of Rohan actually spoke that language, but because Old High Gothic had the same relationship with English that Rohirric had with Westron (Which is the Common Language spoken in the West of Middle-Earth). There’s tons of that stuff in the book.

Like, Merry and Pippin’s real names (In Westron) are Kalimac Brandagamba and Razanur Tûk, respectively (to pick just one example of this). Tolkien changed their names in English to names which would give us English-speakers the same kind of feeling as those names would to a Westron-speaker. Lord of the Rings is so much deeper than most readers realise.

tolkein’s entire oevre is just one epic in-joke with the oxford linguistics department imo

skaletal:

self-critical-automaton:

critical-perspective:

terminallydepraved:

charlesoberonn:

nexya:

I love how humans have literally not changed throughout history like the graffiti from Pompeii has people from hundreds of years ago writing stuff like “Marcus is gay” “I fucked a girl here” “Julius your mum wishes she was with me” and leonardo da vinci’s assistants drew dicks in their notebooks just for the banter and mozart created a piece called “kiss my ass” so when people wish for ‘today’s generation’ to be like ‘how people used to’ then we’re already there buddy we’ve always been

The Hagia Sophia has inscriptions that were considered sacred for centuries until they were deciphered in the 70s to be Nordic runes saying “Halfdan wrote this”

my old english prof told us that theres a cave in Scandinavia where a viking gratified some runes like 14 feet up on the wall and when they finally reached it all it translated into was “this is very high”

Ancient Shitposting

Now on the History Channel

‘People have literally just always been people’ is genuinely my favorite fact about the world

“Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero, 106 BC – 43 BC

sashayed:

everyworldneedslove:

unclesteeb:

pastelfalcon:

tonyefuckingstark:

#Sam Wilson: Sassy Bitch Graduate 2k14

I always kinda fixate on how Sam’s gaze lingers condescendingly on Steve after he delivers this line, and it’s produced this headcanon where after the VA scene, Sam and Steve go out on a date and hit it off really well and go back to Sam’s place and bang, but Steve wakes up while Sam is still making breakfast and is like “I’m sorry to do this, but I have to go” and is apologetic and cringe-y and Sam kinda watches him dubiously with his spatula in hand but is like “alright, man, see you around.” Whether Steve left because he got cold feet or a mission kinda varies in my head. But it makes Sam’s “if u EAT breakfast u fuckin shit” face in this scene (and the startled but slightly reserved way he initially answers the door) funnier to me.

Like I have not been able to stop thinking about this????

It… also kinda explains Steve’s little “okay I deserved that” head bob?

also explains

sashayed:

CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER | all the good guys are girls.

adrianne palicki/steve rogers, samira wiley/sam wilson, scarlett johansson/natasha romanoff, kristen stewart/bucky barnes, emily vancamp/sharon carter, cobie smulders/maria hill, angela bassett/nick fury