Author: lebelinoria

‘T’was The Night Before Hockey

benn-bros-and-hockey-hoes:

T’was the night before hockey, and all through the land

Not a skater was stirring (for fear they’d get banned).

The sticks were all taped and the goalie pads shortened

And Byfuglien was finally gone from Tim Horton’s.

The players and coaches lay snug in their beds

While visions of trophies danced ‘round in their heads –

Of Vezinas and Harts, of Conn Smythes and Rockets

(though others just hoped for big checks in their pockets).

And the fans lay asleep, oh the dreams that they dreamed!

Of cup-winning squads, and Bettman getting creamed!

The refs all praying, as they tossed through the night,

That just one single game, they might get it all right.

And I had lay down, to catch a few z’s,

When I heard a loud crash, and felt a chill freeze.

I leaped up from the mattress, and rushed down to the stairs,

Little expecting what I’d find to be there;

An impossible scene – why, I had to look thrice –

My living room’d changed into one made of ice!

An immense scene of sport, I knew not what to think

Of a commonplace room turned to huge hockey rink.

And more than just that (and so much much more)

The freshly done ice was hosting a war!

Two sets of men fought for that greatest reward

Stanley in their eyes as they leapt ‘cross the boards

I saw Sidney Crosby battling Claude Giroux

And the Great Gretsky deking one Mario Lemieux.

Brodeur (in young form) diving cross the crease

And Datsyuk’s stick magic ne’er ceasing to cease.

Karlsson streaked in from backline to score

But was rebuffed by the stick of Bob Orr.

I saw Coffey and Gordie and LaFleur and Yzer,

Among hosts of others, some younger, some wiser.

The greatest of greats, from future and past,

Oh would that I’d known that the scene would not last,

For then my eyes opened, and I saw the sun beam,

And I realized that game had been but a dream.

I near shed a tear in sake of regret.

What a game it had been, a sensation, and yet

I thought “What is there to be seen this new season?

Could there not be still better?” I reasoned.

And I say to you all, on this eve of goal lights:

Sleep well and dream, on this last of dark nights.

Prepare for great saves, chanting keep’s name.

Prepare for great shots, near alight with flame.

Prepare for great moves, that make d-men cry

Prepare for great passes, placed through needle’s eye

Prepare for great hits, a great sound like a crack

Prepare for it all, because hockey is back!

chaoticbard:

marsincharge:

marsincharge:

I gave up Holier-Than-Thou ‘Social Justice’ back at the end of 2015 when I realized it was neither productive nor appropriate.

1) it makes you stressed out chasing and giving off the image that you are perfect and free of mistakes or ‘problematic behaviors’

2) it stops you from growing as a person and activist

3) it makes you come across as an actual asshole

4) it makes you defensive in the face of being held accountable. You think you can do no wrong and do not respond well to any challenge of that.

5) it makes you blow things way out of proportion. You get so busy trying to be Wokest of Them All that you’ll argue and send incredibly aggressive and sometimes violent messages to people over things like iPhones.

6) you start to lose sight of your goals as a person passionate about social equality. It’s all a performance now.

I learned before I got really bad and I’m so much better for it.

I’m reblogging this not as a nock on online activism or the stuff we do, but rather the culture that’s formed around it and warped how we do it. All of this is relevant and its become a bad place with unproductive “activism.” There’s a better way.

some-triangles:

chad-buskin:

foulrhetoric:

FOUR DIRKS stand in an ANTECHAMBER.  There are as many CHAIRS as there are STAIRS, which is to say, a lot.  There is an INVERTED RHINOCEROS here.  A WITHERED TREE grows incongruously next to the fireplace.  Above the stage is suspended a SHODDY REPRODUCTION OF DAMIEN HIRST’S “SOME COMFORT GAINED FROM THE ACCEPTANCE OF THE INHERENT LIES IN EVERYTHING”, except with a HORSE.  It drips.  

Water gushes somewhere in the distance. 

@some-triangles

which dirk is ophelia

fuckingconversations:

nkfloofiepoof:

redseeker:

deathcomes4u:

peaceheather:

caitlynlynch:

Adding to this because of @illogicalilse‘s tags “
#*steeples fingers in-front of face*#i’ve read fanfiction longer than all of these

“

“Over 150,000 words = Epic Fanfiction”

Yeah, what do you call 400k?

Insanity

@devcon03 I remember you were wondering about this.

friendly reminder that fanfic authors write full length novels for free, and all most of us ask in return is exposure in the form of recommendations, reblogs, and feedback

Not just full length novels, but full-length BOOK SERIES.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stones was 76,944 words.

Eragon was 157k words

The Hobbit was 95,022.words (and yes, those 22 at the end are very important words~)

Anyway, please PLEASE review, comment, and share the fanfictions you like.

These authors are, for free, giving you hours and hours and hours of entertainment.

Thank them.

lawpixels:

oh-mother-of-darkness:

oh-mother-of-darkness:

oh-mother-of-darkness:

Top ten quotes from law school, week one:

  1. “So the rules thus far are ‘don’t be late’ and ‘don’t be absent from class,’ unless you are absent because of circumstances outside your control. In that case, notify me before class. If I walk in here and you are not in your seat, and I don’t already know why that is the case… I will assume that you are dead. We will hold a brief service in your memory and then continue on, as we know you would want.”
  2. “Yeah I mean if you don’t know the answer that’s fine, but I’m gonna make you pick the next person I call on. It’s a social experiment I run. I like to see if people pick their friends or their enemies. Wildly amusing. Anyway, be prepared for that.”
  3. “So as the plaintiff’s counsel, you review all the possible venues and pick the one that’s the fairest to everyone….. haaaaahahaha I’m just kidding. You rig the court in your favor as much as you possibly can.”
  4. “You’re supposed to go to a basement during a tornado. Why don’t y’all have basements?” “Can’t watch from a basement” “You’re going to die”
  5. “My own law professor once described admiralty jurisdiction as ‘shit that happens on boats’ so [writes ‘boat shit’ on the board]”
  6. “So then Congress gave itself a raise and America shouted, ‘Give it back you evil bastards!!!’ so loudly that they did.”
  7. “I will provide you with pizza. For beverages, you’re on your own, but please abide by Baylor policy. Which is that we can’t have FUN.”
  8. “And WHAT do we find outside the cities????? C O W S”
  9. “All the desks on the third floor are reserved for 3Ls in practice court. Since you’re dying like, 100% of the time, they kindly give you a place to die. Sometimes you can see the lost souls wandering past the balconies….”
  10. [makes a list of twenty-four things that could go wrong] [writes TRUMP in all caps as number twenty-five]

Round two:

  1. “You don’t want conservatives! You want someone that will redistribute a little wealth! Get some commies! But don’t ask for them out loud, or it won’t end well.”
  2. “Occasionally someone will walk into your office and start with ‘well just as a matter of principle…’ and that right there? That’s when you pull out your extra-strength Advil, because it will be a long day.”
  3. “You can walk into a restaurant and just say, ‘I want tea.’ Sweet is implied! If you don’t want it sweet, it’s ‘tea, hold the sugar,’ and I like that!”
  4. “My biggest goal is to die in Texas. When Gabriel’s trumpet blows, I will be resurrected from Texas dirt… if at all. Depends on his standards.”
  5. “And I say, ‘How much will you pay me?’ and they say ‘a shitload!’ And I say, ‘how much is a shitload?’ and what do you know? Our definitions match”
  6. “So you see that it’s an unincorporated association, and your reaction to that should be ‘shit!’ That is absolutely the proper reaction. That’s a good reaction.”
  7. “You know it’s not perjury if you cross your fingers, right?”
  8. “I would definitely shank someone for pizza.”
  9. “Right now you’re… you’re lawyer larvae. I have a sense for these things.”
  10. “So obviously Congress sprang into action. Why are you laughing? Oh yeah, BECAUSE IT’S BEEN A QUARTER CENTURY”

Round three:

  1. “And by that I mean CRAC, the acronym, not c-r-a-c-k as in crack. Although I was a defense attorney for a long time, so if you want to know how to make crack, we can cover that in a side session. It’s good information. Very interesting.”
  2. “And then I file a complaint against my employer for discriminating against me as a white, Anglo-Saxon protestant. You know… [sarcastically] the historically discriminated against crew”
  3. “Listen, I like money. It’s the love of money that’s the root of all evil. You can like it just fine.”
  4. “With the well-pleaded complaint rule, we take a scalpel and we carve out the cause of action. We lift it out of the body, bleeding! It is BLEEDING in your hands! You hold it in front of your face and you ask it, ‘WHO CREATED YOU?’ [groaning] ‘A federal law.’ ‘THEN YOU ARE A FEDERAL CASE!’ If it’s a state case, you cast it, still-beating, aside. And stomp on it.”
  5. [with deep respect] “You would make a really good anarchist”
  6. “Beaumont? How’s your family doing?” “Pretty well. I mean, everything is underwater, but it’s fine.”
  7. “Your argument is what? ‘You can’t make that much money because it isn’t fair?’ This is America. Fair doesn’t matter.”
  8. “We need ONLY one more thing: someone rich to sue. Can she help us?? We don’t know… until she describes one word on the side of that truck…. ‘Walmart.’ CHA  C H I N G (don’t say that part out loud)! What’s forty percent of thirty million?? TWELVE MILLION. Forty percent is the ONLY math I can do in my head, because that is PRIVATE JET MONEY, BABY! The ONLY POINT of being rich is to HAVE A PRIVATE JET, because THOSE THAT DO can MANIPULATE TIME. As you can see, I am passionate on this point.”
  9. “See this is a tough question because legislators are supposed to make laws, but how would you know that? They haven’t done it in YEARS.”
  10. “Listen I don’t condone murder-suicide, but like… I feel it.”

I recognize at least three of these as Counselor, so I assume you’re having a fun time in Civil Procedure. You probably also have Bates for contracts. And Practice Court isn’t that bad, I promise.