you’re a bard who has had a really good life, overall. Relatively humble life, no terrible trauma, no complicated revenge plot, no evil relatives and no enemies worse than, “that’s Jeff, he’s a prick, but he makes a nice pudding, the wanker.”
At least until this jerk of a noble stole your dog. Now you are on a quest, In Search of the Good Boy.
The journey isnt exactly frought with danger, there’s a misunderstanding with a goblin whose startup food wagon business gets mistaken for some kind of extortion or toll booth, but boy howdy, if these kebabs she’s selling are extortion, you don’t mind one bit! You leave that encounter several silver less, with a bundle of delectable foodstuffs in hand. You take it upon yourself to tell people how delicious this goblins food is. Then you set up camp in a field, and while you’re sitting by the campfire, wishing you had saved some of the goblin’s kebab for later, a couple of orcs emerge from the night to ask you to please put out your fire, there’s been a drought going on and there’s a severe risk of wildfires breaking out. They instead invite you to their farmhouse for the night, and are very pleasant company that brew wonderful tea.
Eventually, after many enjoyable encounters and after making many new friends, you finally reach the noble-who-took-your-dog’s house. You knock, and the noble in question, to your great surprise, answers the door themself.
They are much more good-looking up close than you thought they would be.
You explain why you’re there and they apologize profusely for the misunderstanding, because they thought your Good Pooch was a stray, and you hear barking and wagging and excited pup sounds as your dog races to greet you.
Your quest is complete. You have found The Good Boy.
Also the Noble asks you out, and then you eventually get married, and the orc farmers are there, and their farm is flourishing, and the goblin food wagon chef is there, and her business is booming thanks to your patronage, and now she has a brick and mortar restaurant that you and the Noble helped her to open.
for the next Reboot That Makes Men Angry I’d like to submit for your consideration Lupita Nyong’o as Indiana Jones
and she steals artifacts from museums and returns them to their rightful cultures
Oh my god, imagine the Indiana Jones temple-robbing scenes in reverse! She walks through the Scorpion pit, she ducks under the swinging axe, she jumps the spike trap… She pulls the idol from her bag and gently places it back on the altar. Then she walks out without looking back while all around her, the temple settles back down into tranquility.
The beginning of the movie would start with a heist to rob the museum which would make it a double adventure heist movie.
and when she does archaeology, she’s a legit archaeologist
This are good defenses for LGBT+ SW characters from Star Wars Aftermath trilogy author. Thanks for @permian-tropos suggests me to make this easier to read.
“ALL OF STORYTELLING IS BY FORCE. NONE OF IT IS ORGANIC OR NATURAL. ALL OF IT ARE THINGS THE STORYTELLERS WILLFULLY CHOOSE AND IMPLEMENT.”
whoa… it’s fucked up how like….. i have ancestors who lived in the dark ages….. they shat in the street and performed hard labor and they had children who i descended from…. what the fuck… ever think about that guys. don’t think about it it’s weird. i don’t like that. which caveman was i descended from.
we all came from a fish who was like “watch this motherfuckers” and walked on land, every single one of us
It kinda blew my mind to learn today that “thou” was actually an informal form, and “you/ye” was the fancy one
Now whenever I see “thou” I read it in a tone kinda like “y’all” in tumblr posts and like… 1600s bible verses were supposed to be perfectly frank, not stilted. this changes everything………..
“Listen, then, if y’all have ears!” – Jesus, maybe
just moving along like everyone else 