writers: how are we gonna top ourselves! we got tons of exciting stuff in store!! at least eleven big bads this season!!!! whos gonna survive who won’t????!! 3 love triangles and 2 quadrangles!!!!
me: I’ll Pay You 5$ To Let The Characters Just Simply Talk To Each Other For Once
… literally just … hang your clothes out to dry ….. like …. it’s not that much of a hassle ….. it’s cheaper ….. and it’s probably better for most of your clothing anyways??? like I love y’all and I don’t mean to criticize you but …..
I remember the turning point moment. I was watching an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer with my roommates, and it went into a backstory flashback set in high medieval Germany. ”Why are you sighing?” one asked, noticing that I’d laid back and deflated rather gloomily. I answered: ”She’s not of sufficiently high social status to have domesticated rabbits in Northern Europe in that century. But I guess it’s not fair to press a point since the research on that hasn’t been published yet.” It made me laugh, also made me think about how much I don’t know, since I hadn’t known that a week before. For all the visible mistakes in these shows, there are even more invisible mistakes that I make myself because of infinite details historians haven’t figured out yet, and possibly never will. There are thousands of artifacts in museums whose purposes we don’t know. There are bits of period clothing whose functions are utter mysteries. There are entire professions that used to exist that we now barely understand. No history is accurate, not even the very best we have.
chowder better be the one giving the haus tour after bitty leaves otherwise i’m gonna fight because LITERALLY no one else would be as good as he would any
like sure it’ll be a complete trainwreck but he’ll also remember the most random facts (‘oh!! yeah!! bitty told us to throw that couch out over 200 times!’ ‘oh that boiler is from 2009 and broke down 8 times in the past three months, one time when nursey was taking a shower and another time when bitty was running the dishwasher anyway soap got eveywhere but nursey didn’t seem super bothered??’) and it’s just weirdly endearing like all these frogs feel so comfortable around him and start to really feel like part of the team bc they’re hearing all these weird stories but it makes the team seem more real and less like. ‘omg the two-time frozen four winner samwell wow!!’ like pls babes
and he buys all of them sharks merch like they each get a sticker or something and he has stats memorized back to like the 90s and will just casually throw them out there but if a kid asks him about the sharks/is a fan than the entire tour is derailed and it ends up lasting 2 hours longer than it should but it’s worth it and the frogs love it so much!
chowder explains everything in so much detail (like too much detail) but it helps the frogs feel more comfortable because going to college is confusing but the hockey team is a weird loving family and it makes them excited to be on the team
30 minutes are dedicated to the rules and expectations of team breakfast (‘no one has ever fit more eggs in their mouth than holster and honestly we don’t want anyone to try’)
after the haus tour is over chowder drags all the frogs around campus pointing out the best places for them to eat lunch and fastest paths on the quad and basically just gives them a bunch of pointers that orientation doesn’t lol
and chowder is super dedicated to it because he remembers how great bitty was at it and wants to live up to his legacy and also bitty made him feel super welcome and comfortable and he also highkey admires shitty and wants to make him proud too
and anytime he sees caitlyn and the girls team practicing he’ll wave frantically and be like ‘CAITLYN!! HI!!! that’s my girlfriend she’s amazing and pretty and super good at everything she does she’s fantastic wow’ bc he just really loves her a lot!!!
I kind of wish disney’s ~weird period~ had lasted longer. Like all of a sudden we were getting these films like lilo & stitch and Atlantis and the emperor’s new groove and treasure planet and they were so fun and DIFFERENT. Just thinking about what the pitches for those movies had to have been like is so surreal?? A little blue criminal alien crash lands on a Hawaiian island and gets adopted by two sisters dealing with social services that teach him about the value of family. An Inca emperor gets turned into a llama and john goodman helps him get back to his palace and one of the bad guys talks to squirrels. Treasure island but in SPACE. Like, on the surface, the premise for these films seem so random but they all TOTALLY WORKED IN REALLY GREAT WAYS??? idk I just really miss that early 2000s spark of offbeat creativity in Disney’s timeline.
& treasure planet was surreal in that its main relationship was between a teenager whose dad abandoned him and a pirate outlaw who acted as a father figure to him??? romance is great and all but it’s really nice that most of lilo and stitch’s, emporer’s new groove’s, and treasure planet’s stories all revolved around platonic relationships and they just were so pure and refreshing???
just moving along like everyone else 