The great thing about fandom/internet friends vs. friends you meet out IRL, is that when you get to know people for the first time face-to-face, there’s this awkward process of trying to figure out juuuust how much of a dork they are, and how much you can nerd out before you scare them off. Like, you don’t wanna break out the real freaky shit right off. There’s always the impulse to hang back a little, as you try to gauge just how into a thing they are. But with fandom friends? You fucking met them in the garbage heap. You knew their fucked up narrative kinks before you even know their real name. They are screaming their passions into the void. Your friendship comes pre-loaded with already knowing the exact depths of each other’s depravity, and any ordinary-people-shit you have in common is just a bonus.
why are there all these posts n articles n stuff that are like “girls can have short hair!” “girls can wear suits!” but all the women shown are still always only feminine, and whats actually being said is “girls can have short hair and still be feminine!” and “girls can wear suits and still be attractive to men!” like whenever women want to do something men (and sometimes other women too, but men are awful at this) have to find a way to make it Still Okay, Still Acceptable to them, instead of just letting women be! women dont need to fit any standards of femininity or beauty to do something, and they certainly don’t need mens approval
and its really gross considering these articles are usually about styles/behaviors associated with wlw, like they’re basically saying “doing this is okay, as long as youre straight!”
yeah. if we’re going to say this is great (and it is)
then we also need to honestly promote this as well
men, if you absolutely MUST hit on strangers, here is how to be a gentleman instead of a creep:
never ask for her number. give her yours.
don’t try to get her to say she’ll call you. just say “i’d like it” or “i hope you will.”
NO TOUCHING. a handshake on parting if you’re really getting along, maybe. don’t linger.
brief, friendly eye contact to show you’re being forthright: good. staring into her soul like you think you’re a harlequin romance hero: fucking terrifying. you look like you’re working out a wine pairing for her liver.
give her compliments that are about her as a person, not her anatomy, and keep it g-rated. imagine there are kindergarteners watching. “you have a wonderful smile” = good. “daaaamn, looking fine” = bad. “nice tits” = *buzzer noise* *trap door opens* *machine noises and screams*
if she declines your number, you can set it down on a nearby surface if you think the refusal is pro forma, but don’t ever try to push it into her hand.
you may attempt to converse with her before offering your number. don’t be a phony, just make small talk.
don’t pretend you’re not hitting on her.
PERSONAL BUBBLE PERSONAL BUBBLE
if she doesn’t engage with your small talk, or gives off uncertain body language, or you can’t read her, back off. bring it to a polite close and go away, whether you leave your number or not.
if she does engage, be aware that she may simply be enjoying the social interaction without being sexually or romantically interested in you, and be okay with that. don’t pretend you’re okay with it. be okay with it.
you might make a friend instead of getting a date. do you realize how cool that is? it is very cool. friends are important. even hot friends who don’t want to date you are better than not making friends. accept this. embrace it. join the human race. rejoice.
even if everything goes pefectly, and she’s super duper into you, do NOT try to take her somewhere more private. it’s not that she doesn’t know her own mind, it’s that you don’t know her well enough to be sure everything’s copacetic.
and finally, don’t assume you’re always safe and women can’t hurt you. being an asshole is not a gendered trait. give yourself an out as well.
don’t do any of this if you’re in a position with leverage over her, whether you’re her coworker (you don’t have to be her superior to have leverage!), her dad’s golfing buddy, in a job that gives you more social clout (say, it’s a base town, you’re military and she’s a townie), or just her ride home. do not hit on women you have power over.
no, not even in that situation you’re thinking of. no exceptions.
no, not even if you’re head over heels in love and think she’s the One. get to know her as a person, and you might grow closer over time. but if you hit on her from a position of leverage, you are no gentleman.
SOFTCORE SOUTHERN ORGY, I WILL FIGHT, IT’S GONNA BE HARDCORE AT LEAST!
“inexperienced bee-filled cockwarming”
…I mean, for a random generator which is not, to my knowledge, theorized to have psychic powers, it seems suspiciously good at landing in my niche fandom cluster.
My kink is husbands & wives who are still portrayed as very much in love with each other, because even after years of commitment and kids, they still talk to each other, go on fun random adventures and try new things. No resentment. No portrayal of marriage as a chore. Just actual love.
Did you mean
Linda and Bob a relationship is all I want in life
Ok so I’m as big a sucker for fanfic tropes as the next person, but have you considered: using them platonically between friends to eventually lead to romance with another character while still focusing on friend relationships?
Let me give some examples. For instance, if you ship Person A and Person B, and your BroTP is Person A and Person C:
Have Person A and Person C fake date, legit just as buddies. Only, Person B is at the place they’re fake dating, and Person C is being deliberately embarrassingly mushy to tease Person A, because wouldn’t you be if you were fake dating your friend?
Person A and Person C body swap. Person C is not a dense idiot and realizes that Person A’s crush on Person B is not unrequited like they thought, and now has to convince their friend to confess when they swap back.
Ect. ect. ect.
Just, there’s never enough focus on platonic bonding in fics, and it’s a good way to focus in on side characters not in ships who don’t get as much of the limelight (plus is a new twist on great tropes)
This is a FANTASTIC idea and I would totally write this!!!
just moving along like everyone else 