You are an unexceptional superhero, D-class at best, except for your tendency to get along with evil clones, robot duplicates and alternate and future/past versions of yourself. The rest of the supers are starting to get worried about your growing army.
Having an army of angry children would pretty much decimate any threat that came your way
Congratulations, genius. You convinced your best friend, the Protagonist, not to marry the story’s Love Interest, and instead go off and have awesome adventures with you forever. But in doing so, you pissed off the Author.
After the third bandit ambush, the Unnecessary Character waits until the Protagonist falls asleep to turn an accusing look at the sky.
“Hey,” the Unnecessary Character says, jabbing a finger stupidly at the non-sentient array of stars, “you quit it. You quit it right now.”
The Unnecessary Character, henceforth known as TUC so as not to waste too many letters on them, looks rather rough. Their hair is a tangled mess from the swallows who’d mistaken the horrendous strands as nesting material.
“I know that was you,” TUC hisses. “Swallows use mud and spit to make their nests, not twigs.”
TUC is unaware that they actually look like dirt, just terrible, smelly dirt.
“This is a lot of unnecessary anger,” TUC says to the sky. “You’re the one who thought Ally needed a friend and now you’re mad that I’m being a friend to her? Josiah was a creep, you know. Maybe you think he was charming, but he’s borderline abusive. No, scratch that. He was straight up abusive.”
TUC’s main weakness has always been the inability to see the big picture. They don’t know that the Love Interest would do anything for the Protagonist, up to and including battling the dragon that would inevitable be coming to the castle.
TUC pales until they begin to resemble watery porridge. “The what?!”
Their voice is shrill and stupid. The pitch of it nearly wakes the poor, exhausted Protagonist who’s had it rough these past few nights with TUC waylaying her with their idiocy.
“Let’s…let’s swing back to the dragon later,” TUC says. They pinch the bridge of their nose, trying to ease the headache thinking so hard has given them. “Look, Josiah wanted to keep Ally in the castle, okay? Like, all the time. She’s an adventurer, dude, not a stay-at-home wife. And have you already forgotten how Josiah locked her in the dungeons when those rebel forces tried to break in? And then just forgot about her in the aftermath until she broke out?”
It’s not surprising that TUC has misinterpreted that lovely and gallant action. Ally is a lady, forced to work hard all her life to support her mean family. She needs someone to take care of her so she can finally be happy.
“Her mean–they were poor!” TUC says, missing the point completely. They direct a hideous look at the sky. “No, I’m not missing the point! Everyone in her family was worked to the bone, not just her! They all had to work insane hours just to pay taxes! Taxes, may I remind you, that Josiah and his father set!”
I’ve been craving SickFic, so have some prompts and feel free to tag me here at @wordmage because I would love to see your takes on the prompts below. Feel free to add more, or use it for RP/art, whatever. I plan to try and fill them all out, myself.
99.9% Immunity – (character) never gets sick, right? Wrong.
Elephant in the Room – (character) is sick, but for some reason – rank, personality, etc – no one is talking about it
Heroes Don’t Take Sick Days – there’s no time to rest when you have to save the world, so (character) has to push themselves even when miserable
Insult to Injury – as if being injured wasn’t enough, (character) is getting sick too
Ill Timed – it’s the worst possible time for (character) to be sick, but their body didn’t get the memo
Irreplaceable – (character) is the leader/boss and isn’t able to take personal time off, even when they’re under the weather
It’s Nothing – (character) insists they’re fine, right up until they collapse
Medic Down – every group seems to have a primary caretaker. How do they handle it when (character) is the one sick?
Milking It – if (character) has to be sick, they’re at least going to get as much pampering out of others as they can
Not a Word – (character) said they don’t get sick, and isn’t in the mood for anyone to remind them while they recover
No Rest for the Wicked – the big bad (character) has more to worry about than the good guys
Open Secret – everyone knows (character) is sick, but they’re trying so hard no one has said anything
Persuasive Partners – (character) is sick, and refusing to stay put; their partner(s) give them a good reason to stay in bed
Stepping Up – boss/leader (character) is clearly miserable, so the others go out of their way to take as much of their workload as possible
Suffer in Silence – for whatever reason, (character) doesn’t want anyone to know they’re sick, and does everything they can to hide it
Take One Down… – (character) gets sick, and spreads it to the rest of the group
Team Mom/Dad – (character) is the one to always take care of others on the team
The Wolf Cries True – (character) has been known to exaggerate or even pretend they’re sick, only this time they’re telling the truth
This is Your Fault – (character A) was clingy while they were sick, and now (character B) has it
Why Didn’t You Say? – (character) hasn’t been feeling well, making for some uncharacteristic behavior, and their partner(s)/team/friends are much more understanding once they realize why
This is somehow one of my most popular posts (nearly 400 notes on it, mostly reblogs) which I am 110% behind and totally approve. So I’m also going to add more things. (Drop these in people’s askbox with characters or something! Mine, too!)
Behind Closed Doors – (character) has a solid public face, but in private they let themselves be taken care of when they’re not well
Bless You – (character) has a particularly sneezy cold, and may or may not be able to retreat from life to deal with it.
Don’t Speak – (character) has a horribly sore throat and is reduced to barely talking while they load up on hot drinks and soup to recover.
I’m Dying – (character) has a headcold and despite that not being anywhere near the worst they’ve ever been, they’re flailing about it to anyone who will listen
Judgement Call – (character) really isn’t feeling well, but has pressing obligations. Others could step up, but no one is as qualified. They choose to…
Painfully Polite – (character) has very strong feelings about how one should behave, and they are even more mindful when they’re not at their best, talking through a sore throat, trying not to cough, attempting to stifle sneezes, etc.
Misery Loves Company – (character) is under the weather and not up for much, but really appreciates having someone there. Even if that someone is sick too.
Stay With Me – (character A) rarely asks for help, but they’re feeling miserable enough to ask (character B) to keep them company a while.
With Kid Gloves On – it’s a known fact that (character) has trouble accepting help, even when they’re sick; the others have learned specific “acceptable” methods over time
You Heard Nothing – (character) is obviously coming down sick – sneezing, sniffling, coughing – and absolutely refusing to admit to it, let alone take things easy.
My gf and I literally have literally 12 inches of height difference so:
Step 1 of Smol/Tol OTP:
Smol trying to be lowkey protective of Tol when cuddling by being the big spoon but it’s HARD BECAUSE YOU CAN’T EXACT JUST TUCK YOUR GIANT IN YOUR ARMS WHEN YOU’RE TINY
Tol getting pissy and putting all the important dishes on the top shelf
Smol not taking that hissy fit and hiding all the best snacks at the back of the lowest shelves
Clothes swapping but Tol can only take blankets (meanwhile Smol can wear all of Tol’s T-shirts like mini-dresses and look pretty rad)
Smol straight up sitting in Tol’s lap but it doesn’t hinder Tol’s eyesight at all so they do it all the time
Tol casually leaning their head on top of Smol’s head because they’re at that perfect height to do so and getting grumpy when the Smol wears heels because they have a harder time doing it
When they’re making out the Smol has to sit on the Tol because otherwise the Tol doesn’t know what to do with all their limbs
Tol forgetting that not all people see at their eye level and point out cool things that the Smol can’t see
Tol taking pictures of said cool things then bringing the phone down to the Smol so they can see it
Smol having to stand on stairs so they can kiss their Tol without neck strain
Hard time weaving fingers together when holding hands because the hand size is so different so they casually hold pinkies
Tol having a heart attack when they see Smol using their jackets and getting sleeve paws
Tol and Smol making out and Tol accidentally ENGULFS Smol
Tol using the Smol’s shower and having to bend down under the spray
Smol sleeping in Tol’s bed and realizing that they have a shit ton of space
Sleep clothing swap that works out pretty well because of bagginess
So someone write me that fic where a happily married couple adopts the new person in the apartment below them b/c they notice that they’re miserable and lonesome and don’t know how to Adult very well, and then they all fall in love but don’t say anything b/c it probably isn’t polite to double team your mutual crush/approach a married couple.
All life on Earth uses oxygen, iron, and phosphorous – very reactive elements by galactic standards. It turns out we are the “acid blooded aliens” from the standpoint of another intelligent life form. Write about this from an aliens perspective.
just moving along like everyone else 