the man who for once, in the entire history of movie boyfriends, does not give a shit that his girlfriend is within 100 yards of her ex, only that her ex is very ill and needs some tender loving care because wtf is that black space blob
THIS! And even at some point when Anne started to launch into explanations of ‘I swtg nothing is going on between me and Eddie’ he was quick to be like ‘that’s not even an issue. the issue is that he’s about to die and we need to find him????’ At no point was he ever jealous or possessive and he was always very kind and nice to Eddie because he feels secure in his relationship with Anne and trusts her.
I love Dr Dan and more men should aspire to be like Dr Dan
not only was Venom a romcom, it was way better than 99.9% of m/f romcoms
So we know how two of the favorite superhero peril tropes are A) Threaten a Loved One and B) Villain unwittingly taking the in-civvies Hero as a hostage. Venom and Eddie’s situation presents an opportunity for a special hybrid of both.
Because honestly, both Venom and Eddie have all the subtlety of a firework stand in a bonfire and X Evil Organization is bound to tail the burly man-eating monster to Eddie’s home and
Goons, breaking down the door: Alright Brock, no more games
Eddie: What
Goons: Don’t play dumb here, Eddie. We know the truth and our employer is determined to have a long, violent chat with the bastard eating all of his men. So we’ll make this simple for you:
Goons: Where is your 10 ft tall cannibal boyfriend?
Eddie:
Venom, inside Eddie: Eddie. Eddie, tell them where he is
Eddie, going thru every stage of grief and inventing new ones: ………………..um
Venom, all up in Eddie’s everything, every slime cell of him laughing to tears: Tell them where your boyfriend is, Eddie
Venom’s talk about being considered a loser on his planet, his quick fondness for Eddie, his pleasant surprise when Eddie first called them “we,” and his sudden switching of sides all lead me to conclude that like in the comics, movie!Venom is a big romantic sap that wanted a fairytale symbiosis with a perfect host and all the other reind- Klyntar can’t even deal with his nonsense.
No wonder Riot was so keen on finding him and getting him back on Plan Let’s Get Ready to Invade These Assholes. It’d been six months since he’d seen Venom, and he just knows that without supervision that fucking jackass has gone and fallen in love with the first son of a bitch that didn’t die on him and talked to him halfway decently and now he’s not gonna want to conquer the planet.
And sure enough, he’s not even surprised when Venom turns up all traitorous and married. He gives him one, fleeting chance to get in the fucking rocket, you lunatic, and then he’s just gonna fucking eat him. He’s tired of this, Venom. Absolutely done with this shit.
Riot: GODDAMMIT, VENOM, YOU ALWAYS DO THIS. LOOK AT HIM. YOUR TASTE IS GETTING WORSE.
Venom: HE GAVE ME TATER TOTS AND CALLED US “WE” AND “BUDDY.” WE KISSED IN THE FOREST UNDER THE MOONLIGHT. WE WILL HAVE SEVEN CHILDREN.
Riot: VENOM, DROP THAT THING RIGHT NOW, I WON’T TELL YOU AGAIN. HE SMELLS LIKE SWEAT AND FAILURE.
Some Venom (the organism) story ideas, separately or combined as seem good:
Venom is not terribly aware of the concept of gender and has certainly no concept of it as corresponding to any particular anatomy.
Venom basically considers all mammals to be one sort of organism, and is still waiting for Eddie to chew hraka.
Venom considers gametic reproduction to be, frankly, so primitive as to be mortifying, but doesn’t bring it up out of politeness. (Venom’s concept of politeness is not recognizable as earth-politeness.)
Venom is not able to watch television/read/etc without Eddie’s vision and language centers doing the heavy lifting.
Venom is an obligate anaerobe and finds Eddie’s ability to breathe oxygen badass (but probably wouldn’t tell him that.)
Venom thinks Eddie’s endoskeleton is hilarious: opposable thumbs! Sure, I’ll just contract a muscle to pull on a tendon to pull a lever to pull on another tendon to pull on another lever! What a great way to interact with your environment at all.
Venom doesn’t know what a slime mold is but surely it must be the pinnacle of earth’s creations.
If Venom is so much of a loser back home, how did they end up on this highly important mission? What possible purpose would they serve? Riot is the leader, of course, and I’m assuming Carrion (yellow) and Blight (blue) would probably be like combat and study, so why is this dumb gay there?
And then it hit me.
The only constructs Venom ever produced during fights were defensive. When the Foundation goons bust up Eddie’s apartment, they make a shield to protect the people whose window they just crashed through from getting shot. The fight with Riot, they produce a big one to keep him from tearing their face off. After the rocket, they created a parachute so Eddie didn’t get hurt—at what could easily have been the cost of their own life. They told Anne not to get involved because it would be dangerous.
Venom was just a tank. The only reason they were there was to take damage and keep the others safe.
Fuck, man.
…and of COURSE the team protector would be the one to look at this planets sweaty inferior meatbags and go ‘but consider: what if I protect THIS, actually’
i just cant get over the lobster scene. like his friends are actively begging him, do not get into the lobster tank. please eddie. tom hardy you were in mad max fury road dont do this. and tom hardy looks at his friend like “i know i shouldnt do this. i shouldnt be getting into this lobster tank but i’m going to anyway. i’m already mostly inside. cant stop now. i’m sorry i dont want to be doing this either there’s just no other choice for me.” and then he takes a bg bite out of a live lobster that’s still in the shell and everything.
tom hardy doesn’t actually know he’s being possessed by an alien yet in the story. he’s just resigned himself to whatever fucking meltdown he seems to be having. he doesn’t even seem particularly surprised that things have gone this way for him. like ten minutes later he finds out his heart stopped working and hes just like “you asshole” and he throws his alien parasite against the wall like a water balloon. and then he just leaves and is immediately kidnapped. what a fucking wild ride tom hardy is on.
tom hardy’s actual superpower is being the exact same level of dysfunctional no matter what is happening in his life. so when everything’s going ok for him he self-destructs spectacularly, but when literally everything that can happen to a human being happens to him, he does, like, unrealistically well. climbing into a lobster tank and eating a live animal with large claws just like… “well, this is what’s happening to me today. i’m so sorry you have to watch this, man. anyway here goes, i’m going to bite into a living creature with my human mouth and then LOSE CONSCIOUSNESS”
this movie’s fucking killing me from the inside.
IT WASNT EVEN IN THE SCRIPT TOM HARDY IS JUST A FUCKING GENUINE MADMAN
Friend: Why does Venom always go down on women in fics? I mean, the symbiote’s an alien. Why would he be into that?
Me: Phenethylamine, the hormone which Venom needs to survive, is produced by the bacteria lactobacillus. Which is one of the main components of the vaginal microbiota.
just moving along like everyone else 