I’m perfectly capable of enjoying the idea of “person A, a hero, ‘saves’ person b, a villain, with the power of love” in a fictional context, and all the different ways it can play out, while also recognizing that it’s a bad idea to try to save someone from themselves if they’re dangerous in real life. I’m an adult and I understand the difference. My enjoyment if hero/villain ships in fiction does not inform my real life relationship choices. On the contrary, they allow a safe outlet me to explore and live out these ideas without suffering negative consequences in my real life.
This continued insistence by self-described feminists that I actually don’t know the difference, and am potentially endangering myself by consuming fiction featuring that trope, is not helpful. It’s not progressive or radical. It’s not liberating or empowering. It’s not “smashing the patriarchy.”
On the contrary, it’s nothing but a rehash of old misogynistic stand-bys: that women can’t be trusted to understand their own thoughts and emotions, that they have to be told what they feel and think and why, that women are blinded by innate naivety and compassion, or by sexual desire, that women need a guiding hand to protect them from their own bad judgment.
The fact that it’s women applying this to other women this time around. does not magically make it okay, does not make it less condescending, less patronizing, less violating. Women have been enforcing misogynistic social norms for other women for ages; this is nothing new. It’s no different than when my female Sunday school teachers told me that my body is inherently a temptation to sin, and I must take counter-measures to prevent others from falling from grace by covering it at the expense of my own comfort. It’s no different than when they told me that women who aren’t virgins are equivalent to chewed up gum or licked cupcakes. Sexism doesn’t stop being sexism because it’s enforced laterally.
It’s funny that these people keep implying that women who enjoy this fictional trope have a savior complex. From where I’m sitting, we aren’t the ones trying to save people who don’t need or want to be saved.
Honestly I think we need a name for this kind of condescending “it’s for their own good” themarysue-style fauxminism and I’m formally submitting “helicopter feminism” as that name.
When a character doesn’t realize they’ve been, like, shot or whatever and they hand brushes against their side and comes away wet with blood, and they’re just staring at it like wtf is this and then their knees just totally give out on them and they sink down, maybe gasping a little as the reality finally hits them. That’s good stuff.
I see that, and raise you a character who knows they’ve been shot, but waits until the rest of their crew is out of sight to put their hand against the slowly spreading stain of blood on their shirt, then trying to steady their breathing so they can follow without letting on how injured they are.
Okay but like the character who doesn’t realize they’ve been hurt trying to see if everyone else is okay only to slowly realize that everyone is looking at them with mounting horror. Then they touch their side to find it’s wet and oh no
all 3 of you are evil but i admire, respect, and fear you
consider: the character who knows he’s been shot and it’s bad, so he buttons his jacket over the evidence and puts all he’s got into being competent and commanding until the battle is finished, then goes and quietly sits down and waits for the end, but his best friend finds him and oh no you don’t mate.
the reason why fake dating fics are so enjoyable is because they are a combination of slow burn and established relationship fics. the reader is able to picture what a relationship between the 2 characters is like, but there is still an element of suspense and a chance to develop this relationship because they are not actually dating. in this essay i will
character being all “you expect me to do X?” Gilligan Cut to character doing X
the squad gets captured and interrogated separately, and they’re all telling equally terrible, completely contradictory lies
people completely missing the completely unsubtle, very visible dangerous thing in the room with them
alternatively, people absolutely seeing the completely unsubtle, very visible dangerous thing in the room with them and just not giving a shit
bonus points if it’s a beleaguered minimum wage employee who just goes about their business like “yep same shit as always”
someone pretending they don’t know another character is eavesdropping, only to casually reveal at the end of the scene that they know (*leaving* “tell tom that he can come out now” *tom drops from the ceiling in spy gear, irritated*)
choosing to deal with the villain by just leaving them alone in a room with another character
the “hands go down” trope
example: “any questions?” *everyone’s hands go up* “…that AREN’T sarcastic?” *everyone’s hands go down*
how could all y’all forget “ACT NATURAL!”
These are all great but let’s not forget two characters giving extremely biased flashbacks to the same event that each paint the other as an incompetent loon
i would like to respectfully add: scenes where a character walks into a room, sees something scary, and turns around and walks out with no reaction or change of expression
Bonus points if he DOES react, but it’s to close the door and tell his buddy “it’s for you.”
I just have such a profound need for best friend to lover AUs when both sides think there is no chance of anything ever happening.
Sharing beds together since they were little kids and never really growing out of that habit even though it now hurts to be that close to each other, knowing it will never be anything more than platonic cuddling.
Each of them being that one person the other goes to to feel better when they’ve had a shit day or date. Bonus if it’s 3am and they spend all night talking.
Neither of them realising how much they act like they are dating/married and getting super flustered or sad when someone asks how long they’ve been together because do you have to remind me of this painful unrequited torment I die a little more of with every passing second?
How much they make each other smile when one of them walks into a room.
Drunk kissing.
Practice kissing.
Going as each other’s dates to everything because it’s “convenient”.
Wearing each other’s pyjamas when staying over somehow becoming more arousing than if the other person was naked.
Having inside jokes and finishing each other’s sentences as casual as anything.
Knowing random medical shit about each other. Bonus if one of them takes an allergic reaction to something and the other one just pulls out some random ass medicine like they carry it around all the time- spoiler: they do-just in case of this exact eventuality.
The heart break of seeing each other with other people but doing their best to see it through with a grin and with as much encouragement as they can muster.
Staring a little too long at each other.
The awkward moment when they reach the age they said they would marry each other if they were still single.
Getting fake married as kids and family members always reminding them about it , maybe going as far as to put on the video of the fake ceremony and giving them knowing looks.
Something happening- a kiss, sleeping together- and getting into an argument about it, scared this is it, this is the end, that they’ve fucked up and just wishing they could talk to each other about it, to their best friend.
Having the best black mail material on each other but ready to pounce on anyone else who so much as dares try black mail their BFF.
Having a song. Having a whole playlist.
Laughing the first time they have sex.
Already having seen each other at their very worst.
Getting to say cheesy things like, “I can’t believe I get to spend the rest of my life with my best friend” or “I know I’m marrying you but…do you think I could still be in charge of your send off party? I’ve been planning this night for ten years and I will not have someone else mess those plans up.”
Even after years of being together, still being in awe of the fact they get to have the one person they thought they’d never get. The person they helped ask other people out. The person they used to give the “you deserve someone who loves you for you” speech to. The person they used to look at and wonder why does it have to be you? The person they look at now and think it could never have been anyone else.
One person sleeping with their head on the other person’s lap. Getting all drowsy-snuggly when they’re too tired to see straight. Being tucked in and kissed on the forehead before they pass out. Gentle touches while they drift off. Trusting the other person to watch over them and make sure nothing happens to them while they’re out.
just moving along like everyone else 