My friends, do not lose heart. We were made for these times. I have heard from so many recently who are deeply and properly bewildered. They are concerned about the state of affairs in our world now. Ours is a time of almost daily astonishment and often righteous rage over the latest degradations of what matters most to civilized, visionary people.
You are right in your assessments. The lustre and hubris some have aspired to while endorsing acts so heinous against children, elders, everyday people, the poor, the unguarded, the helpless, is breathtaking. Yet, I urge you, ask you, gentle you, to please not spend your spirit dry by bewailing these difficult times. Especially do not lose hope. Most particularly because, the fact is that we were made for these times. Yes. For years, we have been learning, practicing, been in training for and just waiting to meet on this exact plain of engagement.
I grew up on the Great Lakes and recognize a seaworthy vessel when I see one. Regarding awakened souls, there have never been more able vessels in the waters than there are right now across the world. And they are fully provisioned and able to signal one another as never before in the history of humankind.
Look out over the prow; there are millions of boats of righteous souls on the waters with you. Even though your veneers may shiver from every wave in this stormy roil, I assure you that the long timbers composing your prow and rudder come from a greater forest. That long-grained lumber is known to withstand storms, to hold together, to hold its own, and to advance, regardless.
In any dark time, there is a tendency to veer toward fainting over how much is wrong or unmended in the world. Do not focus on that. There is a tendency, too, to fall into being weakened by dwelling on what is outside your reach, by what cannot yet be. Do not focus there. That is spending the wind without raising the sails.
We are needed, that is all we can know. And though we meet resistance, we more so will meet great souls who will hail us, love us and guide us, and we will know them when they appear. Didn’t you say you were a believer? Didn’t you say you pledged to listen to a voice greater? Didn’t you ask for grace? Don’t you remember that to be in grace means to submit to the voice greater?
Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world all at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach. Any small, calm thing that one soul can do to help another soul, to assist some portion of this poor suffering world, will help immensely. It is not given to us to know which acts or by whom, will cause the critical mass to tip toward an enduring good.
What is needed for dramatic change is an accumulation of acts, adding, adding to, adding more, continuing. We know that it does not take everyone on Earth to bring justice and peace, but only a small, determined group who will not give up during the first, second, or hundredth gale.
One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul. Soul on deck shines like gold in dark times. The light of the soul throws sparks, can send up flares, builds signal fires, causes proper matters to catch fire. To display the lantern of soul in shadowy times like these – to be fierce and to show mercy toward others; both are acts of immense bravery and greatest necessity.
Struggling souls catch light from other souls who are fully lit and willing to show it. If you would help to calm the tumult, this is one of the strongest things you can do.
There will always be times when you feel discouraged. I too have felt despair many times in my life, but I do not keep a chair for it. I will not entertain it. It is not allowed to eat from my plate.
The reason is this: In my uttermost bones I know something, as do you. It is that there can be no despair when you remember why you came to Earth, who you serve, and who sent you here. The good words we say and the good deeds we do are not ours. They are the words and deeds of the One who brought us here. In that spirit, I hope you will write this on your wall: When a great ship is in harbor and moored, it is safe, there can be no doubt. But that is not what great ships are built for.
By Clarissa Pinkola Estes
American poet, post-trauma specialist and Jungian psychoanalyst, author of Women Who Run With the Wolves.
When a great ship is in harbor and moored, it is safe, there can be no doubt. But that is not what great ships are built for.
Furious is not the same as fierce. Furious is your ego talking. Its the fight to get even, to set things right. Furious focuses on getting rid of a problem. It may look good on TV, but furious rarely succeeds because someone who is furious can’t see everything that’s actually happening.
Fury doesn’t work, but fierceness does.
Fierce is someone who is balanced. Someone who clears their internal obstacles before focusing on any external obstacles. Fierce is someone that sacrifices ego and the perception of safety in order to go to a place that frightens them. Fierce is someone who can transmute the energy of a situation by adding a positive charge to a negative one. Fierceness is someone who stays in their heart when everyone around them is winding themselves into knots. It’s about having the honesty and commitment to change a situation instead of being changed by it. Fierce is about telling yourself the truth of the possibilities and what’s at stake without feeling the obligation to “make everything okay”. Because everything will never be okay. and that’s okay. Because that’s how we continue to keep learning and growing.
My friends, do not lose heart. We were made for these times. I have heard from so many recently who are deeply and properly bewildered. They are concerned about the state of affairs in our world now. Ours is a time of almost daily astonishment and often righteous rage over the latest degradations of what matters most to civilized, visionary people.
You are right in your assessments. The lustre and hubris some have aspired to while endorsing acts so heinous against children, elders, everyday people, the poor, the unguarded, the helpless, is breathtaking. Yet, I urge you, ask you, gentle you, to please not spend your spirit dry by bewailing these difficult times. Especially do not lose hope. Most particularly because, the fact is that we were made for these times. Yes. For years, we have been learning, practicing, been in training for and just waiting to meet on this exact plain of engagement.
I grew up on the Great Lakes and recognize a seaworthy vessel when I see one. Regarding awakened souls, there have never been more able vessels in the waters than there are right now across the world. And they are fully provisioned and able to signal one another as never before in the history of humankind.
Look out over the prow; there are millions of boats of righteous souls on the waters with you. Even though your veneers may shiver from every wave in this stormy roil, I assure you that the long timbers composing your prow and rudder come from a greater forest. That long-grained lumber is known to withstand storms, to hold together, to hold its own, and to advance, regardless.
In any dark time, there is a tendency to veer toward fainting over how much is wrong or unmended in the world. Do not focus on that. There is a tendency, too, to fall into being weakened by dwelling on what is outside your reach, by what cannot yet be. Do not focus there. That is spending the wind without raising the sails.
We are needed, that is all we can know. And though we meet resistance, we more so will meet great souls who will hail us, love us and guide us, and we will know them when they appear. Didn’t you say you were a believer? Didn’t you say you pledged to listen to a voice greater? Didn’t you ask for grace? Don’t you remember that to be in grace means to submit to the voice greater?
Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world all at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach. Any small, calm thing that one soul can do to help another soul, to assist some portion of this poor suffering world, will help immensely. It is not given to us to know which acts or by whom, will cause the critical mass to tip toward an enduring good.
What is needed for dramatic change is an accumulation of acts, adding, adding to, adding more, continuing. We know that it does not take everyone on Earth to bring justice and peace, but only a small, determined group who will not give up during the first, second, or hundredth gale.
One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul. Soul on deck shines like gold in dark times. The light of the soul throws sparks, can send up flares, builds signal fires, causes proper matters to catch fire. To display the lantern of soul in shadowy times like these – to be fierce and to show mercy toward others; both are acts of immense bravery and greatest necessity.
Struggling souls catch light from other souls who are fully lit and willing to show it. If you would help to calm the tumult, this is one of the strongest things you can do.
There will always be times when you feel discouraged. I too have felt despair many times in my life, but I do not keep a chair for it. I will not entertain it. It is not allowed to eat from my plate.
The reason is this: In my uttermost bones I know something, as do you. It is that there can be no despair when you remember why you came to Earth, who you serve, and who sent you here. The good words we say and the good deeds we do are not ours. They are the words and deeds of the One who brought us here. In that spirit, I hope you will write this on your wall: When a great ship is in harbor and moored, it is safe, there can be no doubt. But that is not what great ships are built for.
By Clarissa Pinkola Estes
American poet, post-trauma specialist and Jungian psychoanalyst, author of Women Who Run With the Wolves.
Okay but after seeing this I started doing it too and it’s amazing how many men I’ve run into bc they expected me to move
Gotta try it
I work (and walk) on a college campus. I’ve lost count of how many men I’ve smacked shoulders with.
Recently, I was standing outside my son’s classroom waiting to talk to his teacher. I stood on one side of the hallway, not even close to the center. At some point, a man came walking along. I was standing right in his path, but the hallway was empty, so I logically expected him to swerve around me. Instead he kept walking right toward me, got to me, and stopped, as if waiting for me to get out of his way. I didn’t; I just smiled politely at him. He finally walked around me, clearly annoyed that I hadn’t leapt out of his manly path.
Now I’m wishing I’d leapt aside, taken off my jacket and laid it on the floor before him, then bowed deeply and said, “My Liege!”
I also work at a college campus. I smack shoulders sometimes, but I find that if I stare straight ahead and follow the advice below, people get the heck out of the way.
Honestly this post changed how I carry myself when walking alone in public, or in a situation where I’m the one leading. People definitely move for the murder gaze.
Confirmed. I once had to rush back inside a convention hall as the con was closing in order to a retrieve a sick friend’s medication, and I didn’t understand why people in the crowd were jumping out of my way (literally—one guy vaulted a table) until I realized I was dressed as the Winter Soldier and doing the Murder Walk because that’s just how I walk in those boots. I got the meds, got out, and made a mental note.
I repeated the experiment later, wearing the boots but otherwise my usual clothing and mimicking the expression I thought I’d had at that moment. People parted like I was Charlton Heston.
I now wear that style of boots whenever possible. I recently had a man do a double-take as I walked by and ask me, politely, where I had served because I “looked like a soldier.” I’m not current or former military. I was wearing a flowy purple peasant top and looked as un-soldierlike as possible.
Moral of the story: wear comfortable shoes, square your shoulders, and walk like you’ve been sent to murder Captain America.
WALK LIKE YOU’VE BEEN SENT TO MURDER CAPTAIN AMERICA
It’s called the Murder Strut.
IT’S BACK!!!!!! I was searching for this to show my daughter the other day and couldn’t find it. I’m so glad IT’S BACK!! I will always reblog the Murder Strut!!
A guy on a bike went around me because he could tell I had no intention of moving. Thanks to this post.
This post went from Scientific to Feminist to Educational to HILARIOUS!
#make men get the fuck out of the way 2k17
I do this now. Stand my ground. Men look flabberghasted that i wont move out of the way. The most annoying thing is when i’m walking along holding Superpups hand (he’s 2.5 years old), and people walk right up to us and expect to go between us… so for me to let go of my toddlers hand for the sake of them. One person i actually had to put my free hand out and onto their chest to block the person to stop before they ploughed into us.
Also, I find that generally speaking, when dressed as a woman, it isn’t just “murder” you must think. It is “I am the divine incarnation of wrath and I will aim this heel at your testicles if you seek to undermine me. Bow, kneel, or move the fuck out of the way, but do not test me, boy.”
Walk like an Empress who never had a male parliament. Own your space and expect as much compromise from them as they’ve tried to squeeze from you.
It isn’t about being mean, it’s about exposing a behavior.
i’m a man who walks with a cane. when i’m lost in thought or tired or otherwise not projecting my personal space, people run into me. men, women, children, shopping carts, dogs – i’m invisible.
if i hold my head up and give my cane a jaunty swing, make eye contact, and thrust my girthy belly forward like i’m nero wolfe and someone is going to pay for making me leave my orchids and go outside, people jump out of the way.
i’m not saying women/disabled people are at fault for men/abled people being entitled and rude. but i do feel y’all have been taught to behave like you’re sorry for taking up space, and when you break those apologetic body language habits, the sense of power you project is tangible.
1. Only proper writers should write. Only proper artists should make art. Only proper singers should sing. And so on and so forth. Make sure to find a definition of ‘proper’ that excludes you, so that you have to stop. You can propagate this idea by telling others that yes, you are a little bitter, but you know that it was for the best.
2. It doesn’t look very far on the map, you can totally walk. So the temperature is a little different and there may not actually be a path and you’re not sure quite what the stuff marked on the map round there actually means and you may be a little jetlagged by that point, so what?
3. Sometimes the truth hurts. Therefore obviously if something hurts, it must be true. It being possible to find almost any opinion on the internet if you look hard enough, you should show your commitment to the truth by seeking out whatever hurts most and affording it special time and attention.
4. The best cure for unrequited love is to just do what that guy did in that romantic comedy to win the heart of the girl who didn’t seem so into him. That will totally work.
5. Show you are a good-natured, easy to get on with person by not having wants, boundaries or negative emotions. The best people are never upset or angry about anything.
6. Show your commitment to equality by inviting everyone to everything. In particular, you should always strive to invite equal numbers of people who like quiet activities and those who prefer loud ones, people you have been warned about and the people who warned you about them, and those who have had a bad breakup and their exes.
7. If someone asks politely for something, you should give it to them, no matter what it is.
8. When someone is trying something for the first time it is important to be completely appreciative and supportive of their efforts, to not criticise and, if the activity just so happens to be barbecuing chicken, to eat the pink bits and cross your fingers.
i feel like many of my friends need to see this, specifically, they need to notice that it is captioned bad advice.
…the only way through pain, and I am thinking of mental anguish of which I have had rather too much this past year, is to go through it, to absorb, probe, understand exactly what it is and what it means. To close the door on pain is to miss the chance for growth, isn’t it? Nothing that happens to us, even the most terrible shock, is unusable…
May Sarton, The Journals of May Sarton: Volume One (via arabellesicardi)
ive been seeing a post saying that since tomorrows december weve wasted another year again and while i can completely understand that mindset i just wanna remind u all that you havent wasted anything at all.. i know that theres been some pretty hard stuff this year but none of you are a waste of space or anything else, youre accomplishing something just by being alive and being here. youre doing enough just by making it thru every day and youre growing whether you know it or not, no year that you live is a waste and you should be proud of yourself
I think God is one and the same and follow good doctrines of both
I’m atheist
I’m Jewish
And it’s often more subtle
Like a salesperson handing you two products and pressuring you to buy one of them, making you forget that
You don’t have to buy anything if you don’t want to
You can leave the store and buy something elsewhere
And sometimes it can be as important as
“Are you gay or are you straight?”
I’m gay
I’m straight
I’m both? So Bi?
I like no one, I’m ace.
I’m anything else, really, this is a spectrum and I define my own orientation.
So remember- If someone if pressuring you to pick between two choices, they’re probably trying to manipulate you by making you forget you also have another three options.
ok can we agree that the WORST feeling is when you’re just sitting around consciously procrastinating and you’re just overly aware that each second that passes is more time wasted and you like watch hours pass and you’re STILL procrastinating and you CANT STOP and your panicked brain is trapped inside a body that refuses to be productive and inside you’re screaming but outwardly you’re just eating chips
The best thing I know for this is just to do SOMETHING. It’s like you’re in a trance, so you have to break the trance. Get out of your chair and go into another room, or step outside. You don’t have to stay there long, but if there’s something small you can do in that other room, like wash a dish or fold a shirt, do it. If you hate it, you don’t have to do it forever. Then sit down somewhere and just experience the urge to do the procrastination activity but don’t act on it. See if the urge fades a little. If it doesn’t at all, go back to the distracting activity and set the timer for 10 minutes. At that ten minute mark, get out of your chair and repeat the above.
My shrink calls this STOP. It’s a DBT Distress Tolerance skill: Stop, Take a Step Back, Observe, and Proceed Mindfully. Once you get out of your trance, you can shut your eyes, check in with yourself, and DECIDE what to do next instead of just getting carried a long. Don’t pick something HARD to do, pick something very easy but active and that will give you a sense of accomplishment, no matter how small. If you really need to, you can go back to the distracting activity for little breaks but try to set a timer so you don’t get entranced again.
This is hard and takes practice. Maybe the first time, all you’ll manage is getting into the other room and then coming right back. Keep trying. It’s a muscle you build. I leave little notes around my house to remind me to do this. That helps.
Here’s a thing you might do BEFORE all of that. When I’m SUPER anxious and stuck, I’m out of what my shrink would call my Window of Tolerance, which is when you’re so keyed up (or so keyed down) that you can’t really think or act deliberately. So I have a list I keep on my wall: First I stick my face in ice water for about 30 seconds. This triggers the mammalian diving reflex, which depresses your sympathetic nervous system. Then I take a shower, trying to focus only on the water and not my racing thoughts. Finally I sit and do Four-Square breathing for a few minutes, which actually you can do anytime, anywhere. It has a similar effect as the ice-water thing. (If you have PRN anti-anxiety medication, taking a little of that at the beginning of the process can help you get through the exercises.)
Once you’ve calmed down and de-entranced yourself a little, you can possibly think about working again. Pick something very limited and specific. “I’m just going to write ONE paragraph about [x]” or “I’m going to study this one page.” Or “I’m going to work for 15 minutes.” GIVE IT A LIMIT so you aren’t trapped. Then you get a break to distract yourself. Keep the break short, but don’t skip it. You can finish a whole task by just going from one little sub-task to another, without ever looking at it from a whole-task perspective. Just keep doing one more little bit next and eventually you’ll be done.
just moving along like everyone else 