i completely forgot how elven balls to the wall brutal the silm gets after the noldor have been in middle-earth for a while
finrod felagund bit a werewolf to death
Fingolfin shamed everyone into going back to war with Melkor, cause he full on just simply walked into Mordor and hollered at Melkor, a god, for a 1v1. Melkor was like oh shit i don’t want to, but had to or be Forever Shamed and was stabbed seven times by this crazy elf lord. Melkor only got the upper hand when Fingolfin tripped on The Ground, but when Melkor stepped on him to pin him, Finglofin just…stabbed him in the foot, so great was his Fuck You. When he died, Fingolfin was carried away by the Eagle King, his corpse still presumably pulling the finger at their demonic overlord.
so i just started reading the silmarillion and let me tell you, i was not expecting this much drama. the very first chapter is about ilúvatar and the creation of arda and it honestly just reads like a bunch of students arguing over who gets credit for the group project
“fuck off melkor you didn’t even help with the powerpoint”
Tbh Melkor And Ungoliant’s Road Trip From Hell is one of my fave elf hell bits especially the part where Ungoliant is like “let me eat your phone” and Melkor is like [visibly texting] “I don’t have a phone”
Update: Legolas’ pupils are about 3.5 cm wide each. Now drawing kawaii Legolas on physics assignment.
And they told you science was no fun.
Science!
I’m going to do it. I’m going to hand it in.
Legolas’s pupil size isn’t the problem here, though. 5 leagues is 17.262 miles. The curvature of the Earth means that for a person of average height, the visual horizon is less than three miles away. Even if your vision is telescopic and the atmosphere is perfectly clear, you can’t see around the planet. If they were standing on a hill, it would have to be at LEAST 198 feet above sea level in order to see the horizon at 17.2 miles away, with nothing tall in between. Which, knowing Rohan, isn’t impossible.
But consider: Elven satellite eyeballs.
you mean like
@sidereanuncia it’s back, the post that I can only imagine haunts your nightmares
I shall never find peace.
Also, for what it’s worth, there’s absolutely no reason to believe that the curvature of Middle Earth is the same as that of Earth.
There’s no evidence that Middle Earth curves.
Yeah there is. The Silmarillion states that the world was curved after the fall of Numenor (I believe), preventing access to Valinor. But Elves (among others) can travel the straight path across it.
So middle earth is round, but not for Elves because magic.
So wait, the reason he can see that far is because Elves just have the ability to ignore the curve of the earth? That’s awesome. It also means that no matter how good your optics got, you would always want elf eyes manning the spyglass because they can see arbitrarily far while everybody else is limited by this ‘horizon’ bullshit.
Oh thank God, my poor elf prince has seen too much in this post
Fëanor’s obsession with preserving his mother’s name reads pretty easily to me as stemming from his need to be in control of his mother’s legacy, and, consequentially, how he himself is perceived.
Míriel’s death and refusal to be reembodied, and Finwë’s subsequent remarriage, were highly publicized events in Valinor when they really ought to have been private – both because Finwë is king and his family life is always exposed to the public gaze, and because the situation with Míriel, Finwë, and Indis is completely unprecedented. No one has ever died or been remarried in Valinor, and the societal rules about this are so strict that the Valar feel the need to debate whether this is even permissible. As such, the situation must have been highly controversial among the Noldor – in the text, it’s presented as though Fëanor is the only one to object to his father marrying Indis, but in reality there must have been many supporters of Míriel who saw the marriage as an insult to their first queen.
On the flip side, there ought to have been a fair amount of people who placed the blame for the situation on Míriel. A society in which there was no death wouldn’t be very well equipped to deal with suicidality, and there must have been a fair amount of sentiment floating around claiming that Míriel was selfish, or weak, or an unfit mother and wife. But mentions of Míriel grew more and more taboo as the time passed. The concept of death in paradise makes people uncomfortable, and most people were content to smooth the situation over by pretending that Míriel had never existed – or that if she had, she was a brief stain on the king’s life, a rather embarrassing detail, like a mad wife in the attic.
So Fëanor grows up in a society in which the circumstances of his mother’s death – a source of significant trauma to him – are considered public property, and open to whisperings and speculations. On top of that, he grows up in a mixed household with children from two marriages – a complicated enough set-up in our world, and even more so in a society in which this kind of familial structure is completely unheard of. He understandably perceives his father and Indis raising a nuclear family as a denial of his mother’s existence of significance. And he knows that his mother died because his birth drained her of her energy and will to live, and feels a massive amount of guilt because of it. He fiercely dedicates himself to being the best he can be because he feels that the onus on is on him to make his mother’s death meaningful.
So his fixation on Míriel’s name might seem silly or fanatical or pedantic on the surface, and to a degree it is – it’s a very tiny detail to fixate on. But it’s representative of the larger social context of how his mother has been treated. By insisting that she be referred to by her preferred name, Fëanor is, on a micro level, trying to grant his mother the agency and self-determination that public opinion has denied her. And he wants to forcefully remind people of his mother’s existence and her importance to his own identity.
“Now that’s what I call kinslaying!” – 80s meets First Age. [[ 8 Tracks ]] [[ Spotify ]]
[1] Twisted Sister – We’re not gonna take it (Fëanor)
We’ve got the right to choose and there ain’t no way we’ll lose it This is our life, this is our song We’ll fight the powers that be just, don’t pick our destiny ‘cause you don’t know us, you don’t belong Oh, you’re so condescending, your gall is never ending We don’t want nothin’, not a thing, from you Your life is trite and jaded, boring and confiscated If that’s your best, your best won’t do
[2] Wham! – Club Tropicana(Oromë ecnounters the elves at cuivienen)
Let me take you to the place where membership’s a smiling face Brush shoulders with the stars Where strangers take you by the hand And welcome you to wonderland
[3] The Smiths – Girlfriend in a Coma(Finwë)
Girlfriend in a coma I know, I know it’s serious
[4] Talking Heads – Road to Nowhere(Exiled Noldor)
And we’re not little children And we know what we want And the future is certain Give us time to work it out
[5] Adam and the Ants – Kings of the Wild Frontier(House of Fëanor)
A new royal family, a wild nobility, we are the family No method in our madness, just pride about our manner
[6] Duran Duran – Wild Boys(Sons of Fëanor)
The wild boys are calling On their way back from the fire Wild boys fallen far from glory Reckless and so hungered On the razors edge you trail Because there’s murder by the roadside In a sore afraid new world
[7] Kim Wilde – You keep me hangin’ on(Maedhros upon Thangorodrim)
Set me free why don’t you Get out of my life why don’t you ‘Cause you don’t really need me But you keep me hangin’ on
[8] Billy Ocean – When the going gets tough, the tough get going(Fingon (/Maedhros))
Darling I’ll climb any mountain Darling I’ll do anything
[9] Blondie – Atomic(Galadriel)
Oh your hair is beautiful
[10] Beastie Boys – Fight for your right (to party)(Melkor)
[11] Faith no More – We Care A Lot(The Valar)
We care a lot about you people yeah you bet we care a lot Well, its a dirty job but someone’s gotta do it
[12] Van Halen – Running with the Devil (Túrin)
I live my life like there’s no tomorrow and all I’ve got I had to steal Least I don’t need to beg or borrow Yes, I’m living at a pace that kills
[13] Queen – Another one bites the dust(Nirnaeth Arnoediad)
There are plenty of ways you can hurt a man And bring him to the ground You can beat him You can cheat him You can treat him bad And leave him when he’s down And another one gone, and another one gone Another one bites the dust
party like it’s the first age (and everyone you love is dead): the sequel fanmix to noldor best dor, the very serious fanmix I made and posted some time ago.
Did you think I’d lay down and die? Oh no not I I will survive
Party Like a Rockstar – Shop Boyz {general}
I’m on a money making mission But I party like a rockstar Flyin’ down 20 lookin’ good in my hot car
Hung Up – Madonna {fingon/maedhros}
Time goes by so slowly Time goes by so slowly Time goes by so slowly
Call Me Maybe – Carly Rae Jepsen {beren/luthien}
Your stare was holdin’, Ripped jeans, skin was showin’ Hot night, wind was blowin’ Where do you think you’re going, baby?
Telephone (feat. Beyonce) – Lady Gaga {aredhel}
I don’t wanna think anymore I left my head and my heart on the dancefloor
We Are Never Ever Ever Getting Back Together – Taylor Swift {the doom of mandos}
We are never ever ever getting back together, You go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me But we are never ever ever ever getting back together
Take a Hint – Victorious {maeglin/idril}
Why am I always hit on by the boys I never like I can always see ‘em coming, from the left or from the right I don’t want to be a priss, I’m just try’na be polite
This Is Why I’m Hot – Mims {feanor}
I’m hot cause I’m fly (fly) You ain’t cause you’re not (not)
Breaking Free – High School Musical {the noldor}
We’re soarin’ Flyin’ There’s not a star in heaven that we can’t reach
Survivor – Destiny’s Child{turin turambar}
I’m a survivor (What?) I’m not gon give up (What?) I’m not gon stop (What?)
This Is Our Night – Sakis Rouvas {the noldor}
This is our night, fly to the top baby Yes we can do it, just wait and see This is our night, time for a change baby Get rid of the old, take a hold, and be free
Can’t Hold Us (feat. Ray Dalton) – Macklemore{numenor}
Can we go back, this is the moment Tonight is the night, we’ll fight ‘til it’s over So we put our hands up like the ceiling can’t hold us
I’ll Be There For You – The Rembrandts {feanorians}
So no one told you life was gonna be this way Your job’s a joke, you’re broke, your love life’s D.O.A. It’s like you’re always stuck in second gear When it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month, or even your year
I Knew You Were Trouble– Taylor Swift {finrod/curufin}
I knew you were trouble when you walked in So shame on me now Flew me to places I’d never been Now I’m lying on the cold hard ground
Sexy and I Know It – lmfao {celegorm}
When I walk in the spot (yeah), this is what I see (ok) Everybody stops and they staring at me I got passion in my pants and I ain’t afraid to show it, show it, show it, show it
Maneater – Nelly Furtado{ungoliant}
She’s a Maneater, make you work hard Make you spend hard Make you want all, of her love
Lucky – Britney Spears {nienna}
She’s so lucky, she’s a star But she cry, cry, cries in her lonely heart, thinking If there’s nothing missing in my life Then why do these tears come at night
Reach – S Club 7 {eärendil}
Reach for the stars And when that rainbow’s shining over you That’s when your dreams will all come true
just moving along like everyone else 