awww now im picturing snowy tucking his head on a sleeping taters shoulder and just cuddling up to him a bit on a falcs roadie and when they land they’re both fast asleep and kinda tangled up in each other
Based off of a real situation with a Russian I knew:
So Bitty has definitely called people a peach before. So at some point, after Jack is out to the team and Bitty has met them, Tater is helping with him something and Bitty says, “You’re a peach.” Tater is confused, but is like well that sounds nice, so alright.
He goes to Snowy a little while later and asks what it means when someone calls you a peach.
And Snowy replies, “A peach…do you mean a bitch?”
Tater, “No…no…I am pretty sure it is a peach.”
“Are you sure it wasn’t bitch? People don’t usually say that…wait…was it Bitty?”
“Yes!”
“It means you are sweet and I think that is also a fine.”
Pffftt omg tater getting fined for endearments from bitty is hilarious because like, it gets jack /going/
Jack: haha i know my boyfriend is an open, friendly, and very southern person who liberally uses terms like “honey” “sweetheart” on his friends. But he called me sweetie and handsome like a gajillion more times on the phone just now haha ISNT THAT FUNNY heres $500 in the sinbin to counter the $50 that Tater put in. Tater: Haha B like calling people sweet! He call me sweetpea other day
Jack, later: Bitty are you cheating on me with Tater? Bitty: ???????? Bitty: no???
– they first became close friends when tater was taken under snowy’s wing (think wingels taking hertl under his wing via the sharks)
– they do pretty much everything together as a duo (thanks n for the snowtots judging tweet)
– snowy makes tater feel less homesick (thats part of the reason why he got into classical music in the first place (and because its so calming for his pre-game routine) so imagine his face when tater actually knows nothing about it #rip)
– they’re always texting or quote tweeting/retweeting each other and they have a 🔥 streak on snapchat (they’re both tech and social media savvy) ((people low-key end up shipping them because they’re always seen together))
– they’re actually roommates at the beginning because it makes sense. they then become fast friends and best friends, before dating (its casual at first, but then it just ?? makes even more sense ?? and becomes more serious)
– double dates with jack and bitty !!!!
– they’re both fantastic with kids and they love them and want them one day (they’re eventually #blessed with twins, ethan and esther)
– they have a joint/family insta account and post so. many. adorable photos
– they’re both dog people and have, like, three? four? (when esther and ethan are older because they’re so big and boisterous)
“I’m say what I want,” Tater says. He’s a big shirtless basset hound in this bed, and Snowy wishes he had a bone or a chew toy to give him. “I want you marry me.”
“Right. Of course you do.” Snowy rolls over onto his other side.
i have a headcanon about my big russain baby Alexei Mashkov, where he just really relates to Jack and just really wanted to be his friend
like it’s no news that enhancement drugs are quite common in the Russian athlete world, so maybe Tater felt a lot of pressure to take them, but never did. and every day in the KHL he felt anxious and accepted the first team to offer a drafting in to the NHL because it wasn’t like that in the US
and then he came to the US and didn’t really know the language but he was a social butterfly and the team was alright so in the end it worked out well, and no one offers him drugs or takes bribes or anything and he just feels so safe.
and then he meets Jack and the guys tells him Jack’s story and Tater is like !!!! this smol american? he understand!!! and just wants to be his friend but he is not really good with smoothness so he’s like aaah!!! smol american got girlfriend!!! amercans like to talk about girlfriend!!! and one time he got to visit Jack and he has pie in his fridge and its AMAZING!!!! so girlfriend can cook? RIGHT compliment her cooking!!! Good!!! This will make smol american my friend!!!
Okay, but head canon that Tater starts jogging in the mornings with Jack. Tater hates jogging. Look, he will bike and lift and do whatever else he has to do but he hates running. But Jack comes to the Falcs and everyone is expecting a hotshot diva, bc Jack is being brought in to be the face of the franchise. Except Jack is quiet and a dork, doesn’t speak up outside of practice, ducks out whenever they go out after games. And yeah, maybe he reminds Tater and little of himself, 19 years old and fresh from Russia, broken English and the need to prove himself. So Tater decides they’re going to be friends.
They go on runs three times a week, Tater driving to Jack’s apartment. Afterwards they go up and Jack makes protein shakes. Days they don’t have practice after, Tater goes home and showers, then they meet for breakfast. The rest of the team finds out after about a month and chirp Tater relentlessly, bc they all know that Tater hates running. Jack is mortified, tries to tell Tater he doesn’t have to come anymore but Tater just laughs and is like"it’s okay zimmboni, is good for me, more stamina on ice yes? Also good for you, not run alone and sit sad in apartment after" and that’s that.
Except now Tater complains all the time, and Jack just laughs at him, running faster and making fun of him for not keeping up.
Jack opens up a bit more after that, invites Tater over to play video games. It’s on one of these afternoons, where they drove to Jack’s after practice and have played three hours of CoD and are starving that Tater digs through Jack’s fridge to see if he has anything to eat. He finds a container with pie, a sticky note on it that says “for when you’re missing me xx B ❤
He brings the container out to Jack who kind of freezes and Tater is like “you have girlfriend is why you never come out with us????” And Jack just nods, and Tater declares that he’s a bad friend for not telling him and he gets no pie. Ofc then Jack wrestles him bc that’s sugar crusted apple and like hell he isn’t getting any.
Aside from them having food names, Chowder and Tater are like adorable rays of sunshine who will fuck you up on the rink. Both of them really like Jack. More importantly, both are a long way from home.
Of course, Bitty would mother the fuck out of Tater. What the hell kind of question was that? He and Jack are the least subtle boyfriends ever in the history of secret relationships.
So say Jack talks about how Tater seems a bit down and maybe he’s feeling homesick? Bitty doesn’t even think twice about it. Because that sweet Russian ray of sunshine. He researches Russian dishes that could survive the trip to Providence and he sends Jack a care package for Tater (along with things for Jack himself).
This large, friendly, Russian hockey player would literally never shut-up about whoever he was dating. Pictures everywhere. Endless anecdotes. Constant smiling.
“You have good weekend? Girlfriend and I go to movie. I buy her biggest popcorn, extra butter.”
“Girlfriend be jelly and I be peanut butter for Halloween. Like sandwich!! So funny, her idea. She make me laugh.”
“Jack have girl who is great cook. Don’t tell girlfriend, she get jealous.”
Oooooooh and now I’m having thoughts about Tater with a hispanic girlfriend, trying his damndest to learn Spanish.
Tater on the plane to a game, jammed into a seat with giant headphones, loudly reciting Spanish phrases.
lisTEN Tater and Bitty have like, not a single impulse control between the two. Oftentimes people get fooled by Bitty’s politeness, need for a clean kitchen, and preference for people not to spit on the ground (LOOKING AT YOU, NURSEY, YOU GROSS COLLEGE BOY) and think, this is a reasonable and level headed young man! they are wrong.
Tater: B! What if I get huge soda bottles, big ones, and shake them.
Bitty: D: that makes it go flat though, do you not like the fizz?
Tater: *shakes his head* No, no. I strap them onto me and shake them and then BOOM! I fly.
Bitty: Hmm, I don’t think so…
Tater: :((((((
Bitty: You’re too gosh darn heavy! Strap it on me!
Tater: :DDDDDDDD
Tater: B! B! Guess what!
Bitty: I don’t know, why don’t you tell me?
Tater: *shows a picture* new motorcycle! I see it, I like it, now it’s mine!
Bitty: *fans himself really hard because he LOVES those bikes* oh dear
Tater: You one of my best friend. First person I ask to ride with me.
Bitty: Mister Tater! I am delighted and honored!
And then they proceed to ride the motorcycle WITHOUT A HELMET until they get pulled over by a cop, and tater’s telling the story to the team later and jack hyperventilates because HIS BOYFRIEND WAS ON A MOTORCYCLE WITHOUT A HELMET.
One day jack walks into the kitchen to find Tater with tears streaming down his very red face as Bitty feeds him pieces of what looks like mini pie and asking “how about this? is this spicy enough?”
“I’m feel dying and my soul return to heaven. Not enough. Do more.”
Tater: What I’m be for Halloween? Has to be sexy.
Bitty: Haha what about a stripper
They look at each other and an electrical moment passes between them
Tater: I’m go shave my legs now!!!
Bitty: Yes you do that and I’m going online right NOW to find the perfect costume!!!
Tater: WHY THIS RAZOR SO SHARP??
Bitty: here let me shave you!
And then when Tater’s practicing his routine, he routinely asks Bitty whether it’s sexy enough. He’s not doing it very close to Bitty (bc Bitty’s personal space expands when there’s stripping involved by ppl other than jack)
Tater: Weird to ask Jack, you know. He my teammate.
Bitty: I completely understand, and oh dear this is making me blush! *giggles*
Tater: *performs another body roll*
Bitty: *giggles*
That one time Bitty went to the hospital because Tater thought it would be a funny prank to empty out a windex bottle and pour blue gatorade in it so Bitty can shock everyone, but someone accidentally switched the bottle so Bitty drank a mouthful of actual windex.
I feel like Tater’s like the one person who finally convinced Bitty to try weed? Like in the sense that Tater’s never tried it because the fear of his parents is strong, and Bitty’s only had contact high before and never bothered with actually trying it himself. And Tater is curious bc it seems like a lot of the college athletes are high and he wants to try! And Bitty because oh well, if you want to try it I’ll do it too!
They chose a time during the off season, so that Tater won’t get in trouble. And Bitty makes the most delicious weed brownies in existence. And then Tater promptly forgets that they’re weed brownies and eat wayyyy too much and Bitty’s too high to deal with him and Jack comes home to two grown men giggling over his couch. (Tater’s okay, bitty made sure not to bake too much.)
That one time Tater wrenched his shoulder dabbing with Bitty on the ice.
When Bitty was super drunk and Tater handed him a banana and Bitty deepthroated it in front of everyone and then promptly choked and almost died.
That time they were lighting fireworks with their bare hands and didn’t get injured at ALL.
Georgia had to give a little talk to Jack about how tater and bitty should never be left alone, and maybe Jack can thirdwheel some of their hangouts a little bit more?
Jack: I’m the one dating Bitty, you know.
Georgia: He’s an amazing person, but I also need his friendship with Tater to change into something less life threatening.
just moving along like everyone else 