Everyone in the Haus eventually get sick of Tango’s questions, so they give him a ouija board and tell him to ask the ghosts instead
Contrary to popular belief it actually works and before they know it Tango has solved seven of the ten weird shity mysteries™ of the Haus, as most of them involved Jenny and Mandy getting bored in some way or another
tango is honestly the most effective at chirping on the team and he isn’t even trying?? but like anytime the other team screws up it’s “were you actually aiming for the goal?” or “who were you trying to pass to anyway?” or just “did you do that on purpose or…??”
once he asked one of the opposing d-men “what position do you play?” mid-game and the dude just. lost it.
I was thinking about the sexual orientations of all the check please characters and like what if tango is questioning?
He could spend the WHOLE year researching different sexualities and terms, trying out different identities. Everyone in the Haus kind of gets in on it too – Ransom gets out the Excel spreadsheet to make sure they’re not missing any possibilities, Holster prepares a few power point presentations and the team learns a bunch of stuff along the way.
They devote like, a fortnight to the Kinsey scale, which is very enlightening.
And sometime around Christmas, Dex is all – oh, demisexual, that’s a thing? and has a considering face every time Nursey is around.
When Shitty finally gets a long enough break to come visit, Ransom and Holster introduce him to Tango with a look of trepidation and glee. “Shits, you have to meet Tango, he has so many questions.”
Bitty nervously gathers his friends one afternoon in the late winter to tell them that he and Jack are dating. Jack is planning on coming out at the end of the season, so Bitty wants to give them all some warning. They’re all happy for them of course, but a few are a little hurt Jack and Bitty had kept it from them for so long.
“I’m sorry, y’all. I hated lying to you, but it just wasn’t the time yet. I feel so bad about not telling you– something as big and as important as that!” Bitty wrings his hands and apologizes again. The rest of the team is nodding their forgiveness, but Dex looks more and more uncomfortable with each word.
“Anything you’d like to share with the class?” Lardo asks casually. Dex looks like he’s about to faint. She loves the kid, but heaven help her if he has a problem with Bitty and Jack…..
“Bitty’s right. It’s not something we should hide. And I’m sick of lying about it.”
“Wait, when did this happen?” Chowder asks, caught between astonishment and excitement (his natural state of being, but just stronger in this particular moment).
Dex flushes. “Like…..last year? After we lost the playoffs?”
“Right after,” Nursey confirms.
“Ah,” Holster says sagely. “Roadie magic. That’s when me and Rans first started hooking up.”
“WHAT?” squawks Bitty. Rans claps a hand on Holster’s shoulder. “Shit, bro, I think we forgot to tell them.”
“What else haven’t y’all been telling me?” Bitty demands, and after that, confessions start rolling in.
“I’ve had at least two drunken sexcapades with Shitty.”
“Lards, bro! Same!”
“Didn’t Johnson get it on with the other goalie that one time? Goalies are weird, man.”
“Hey, Ollie and Wicks are totally doing it, right?”
Then, amidst the increasingly loud and colorful tales of sexual exploits, Tango shouts, “I’ve thought about kissing Whiskey!”
The rest of the Haus falls silent, Ransom and Holster smothering giggles. Whiskey calmly looks Tango up and down. “Huh. Cool. Let’s do that sometime.”
–
That night when Jack asks Bitty how it went telling the team, Bitty sighs helplessly. “Honey, I don’t know where to begin.”
Whiskey: Babe come over
Tango: I’m helping Dex fix the washing machine
Whiskey: My roommates aren’t home
Tango: Don’t worry! I’m sure they’ll come back
sometimes i sit here and get emotional thinking about
whiskey when talking to most of the smh:
vs whiskey when talking to tango:
the only other time he smiled was a few pages before, right after jack signed the jersey. both are cut off by the panels so we dont really get to see the WHOLE SMILE :((((
i firmly believe his Cool Aloof Dude Persona has two weaknesses: famous hockey players and tony
Whiskey: This is so frustrating! I hate everything! I hate everyone!
Tango: [voice cracks] Everyone?
Whiskey: …
Whiskey: [sighs] Everyone, but you.
i feel like whiskey is the kind of person who like, finds a kitten on the side of the road or something as he’s going to class and just picks it up, takes it with him. and so he sits down in the classroom next to his best friend & sets all of his books down and he just goes “hey, hey tango. tango look.” and then he just opens up his hoodie pocket up a little bit and a lil baby kitten head pops out
and then like tango shouts for a split second and then he just gets the happiest face like “oh my go d???? what???? where did you find it???? is it a boy or a girl???? have you named her???? what’s her name???? can we keep her????”
Manager at Annie’s: okay we’re closing in twenty minutes! Tango: thank you twenty!
OKAY BUT WHISKEY TOO
AND THIS IS WHAT THE THREE OF THEM SUPER BOND OVER
AND WHY SHE GETS A NICKNAME THAT MATCHES THEIRS
Like I already had elaborate headcanons forming about Whiskey coming out to her before the rest of the team because he doesn’t want them to know he dated a lax bro…
just moving along like everyone else 