Cody had nine cups of coffee that morning, and was vibrating into the fourth dimension so he stopped listening after “execute order six-” order six, CANONICALLY, is “get rid of your communicator as fast as possible”. So that’s what Cody hears, and that’s what Cody relays to the GAR. So Palpatine executes his master stroke and six million clones just YEET their communicators and keep going about their business.
it just occurred to me that darth vader, master engineer, probably looked at the death star plans at some point and noticed the flaw, but didn’t bother to tell anyone about it because he despised everyone who was involved in the project
how much you want to bet his speech about putting too much faith was leading to a declaration of the flaw, but when Motti started talking shit, he decided, “nah.
Personally, I don’t really see anything wrong with giving Luke to Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru. What else was Obi-Wan gonna do? (He pretty much raised Anakin and look how that turned out, he’s not gonna risk Round 2.) (He could have given both kiddos to Bail and Breha Organa, actually. Luke and Leia Organa is a cool as heck AU.)
I like Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru. As much as people like to say Luke really is Padme’s son, he didn’t get those morals from her. (Keeping in mind I have read no comics or novelizations, and not seen the Clone Wars TV show) It’s pretty clear that Luke’s iron spine and goodness and refusal to abandon his friends come from his upbringing. Owen and Beru Lars are kinda the Ma and Pa Kent of the Star Wars universe.
And they are Luke’s family. Owen is Shmi’s stepson. Owen and Beru probably knew Anakin’s mother for years. It’s a neat circle, and in some ways it has the feelings of an apology, for Obi-Wan to bring Luke back to his family on Tatooine in the same way that Qui-Gon took Anakin. Obi-Wan can’t undo what’s been done, and he can’t start over, but he can give Luke what the Jedi denied Anakin: a loving family and normal upbringing.
Tatooine is Darth Vader’s home planet? Yeah, sure, but did Anakin ever go back to Tatooine? (Probably once or twice, I’m guessing, in the comics at least.) Darth Vader hates that place. Bad memories. Damn sand would fuck up his suit. He’d burn it all down and then the Hutts are gonna be pissed. And how many people actually know that Darth Vader is Anakin Skywalker? Like, about five? (Bail, Obi-Wan, Yoda, R2-D2, and Ahsoka?) Dude is not exactly getting invites to school reunions and the weddings of childhood friends, is all I’m saying.
Even if Darth Vader ever went back to Tatooine, Tatooine is a big place. The Lars Farm is in the middle of nowhere and Obi-Wan is hanging out left of the funky rock five miles past nowhere. Anakin met his stepbrother once in the entire film trilogy and idk if they even exchanged words, much less space e-mail addresses. I kind of doubt that Uncle Owen and Darth Vader are sending each other Life Day e-cards. (That’s really funny, actually.)
Anyway, the point of this rant is that I want you to imagine new parents Owen and Beru Lars caring for toddler Luke, it’s just after Life Day, and someone rings the doorbell. Owen Lars opens up to Darth Vader holding a fruit basket, because he didn’t know what else to do for Life Day and spontaneously decided to visit distant family rather than mope in his Evil Castle again.
(Everything Obi-Wan hoped would never happen, just… happening.)
Owen, after introductions, panicking, “Uh… the suit is… new.”
He has to invite Vader in, because it’s Life Day and how exactly do you tell Darth Vader to fuck off? Then Owen and Beru have a hushed argument in the kitchen while Darth Vader is sitting awkwardly in their living room with a drink that he can’t actually drink but took to be polite. When they come out, they introduce Luke as Luke Whitesun, Beru’s late brother’s kid, which they guess makes Luke… Darth Vader’s… nephew. (They can’t hide him, Vader’s already seen this 2-3 yr old Luke and the house is COVERED in baby and kid stuff.)
And Darth Vader just… fucking falls for it.
And the Lars family has to spend the holidays with Uncle Darth Vader who is super keen to have a step-nephew-in-law. Beru is showing off her cross-stitching to Darth fucking Vader as Luke plays at their feet. Owen is in the kitchen sending a desperate space text to Obi-Wan, who basically has a heart attack on the spot when Owen sends a shitty stealth-pic of Darth Vader on their couch.
Bonus points if the Lars’ don’t even move after this, because Vader left without issue and Uncle Owen afterwards was like, “It turned out fine. I don’t want to move, that’s too much hassle.” So, every major holiday, Luke gets a visit from his Uncle Darth Vader, which works out fine so long as they instigate a “Don’t Talk About Politics” rule when Luke starts getting excited about Rebellions and starts bad-mouthing the Empire (Vader making small talk at a Star Destroyer water cooler to his terrified staff: “Ugh, I’m going to have to debate my liberal 13-yr-old nephew at the dinner table again.”), and Vader even helps with the dishes and stuff, and every time Obi-Wan ages an extra year from stress.
Guys, please, the way this continues is that the general events of the Star Wars universe continue as normal (Leia, having literally just left a space battle: “Darth Vader, the AUDACITY of attacking an innocent diplomatic vessel!”) UNTIL the stormtroopers show up at the Lars Farm. (Luke is desperately chasing down the droids he lost and properly meeting Obi-Wan Kenobi.)
At first, it’s business as usual, y’know? Stormtroopers break down the door and interrogate the occupants and start prepping to burn the place down, and the leader is in the middle of shouting, “TELL US WHERE THE DROIDS A-” when he pauses and just… stares… at the mantlepiece.
Because on the Lars family mantlepiece and walls are, like, a hundred family photos and roughly half of them have Darth Vader in them. There’s Darth Vader wearing a Life Day party hat at a dinner table. There’s Darth Vader holding a toddler and playing with model ships. There’s Darth Vader and a pimply thirteen year old in the stands at the Boonta Eve Classic. There is a cross-stitched pillow on the couch that says OUR FAMILY on it, consisting of a man, a woman, a boy, and Darth fucking Vader.
Stormtrooper Grunt #1: “What… what… what the fuck.”
Aunt Beru, who has HAD it with these guys wrecking her house, already angrily jabbing at their space phone: “I am calling Mr. Vader RIGHT NOW about this.”
Darth Vader, excusing himself from the bridge of his Star Destroyer to take a call from his stepsister-in-law: “Beru. This isn’t a good time-”
Beru: “Well, MAKE TIME, because your stormtroopers broke down our door and tracked SAND all over my nice clean floors and they won’t stop yelling about the droids we just bought! You better have a good explanation for this!”
Darth Vader does not, actually, have a good explanation for this. The stormtroopers can feel his wrath from across the galaxy. It’s a work thing and he’s very sorry and he’ll make the stormtroopers fix their door, but he does really need those droids and could they hand them over, please? He’ll have the Empire compensate them. Yes, he’ll pay them back and send new droids. Yes, kicking doors down is very rude, Beru, you’re absolutely right.
So Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru promise to pick up Luke and the droids, and hop in the spare Landspeeder to go looking for them. Owen is Not Happy to find that Obi-Wan’s given Luke a lightsaber, and Aunt Beru is Not Happy to find out that the Empire’s made some superweapon. Of course they have to get these plans to the Rebellion! Yes, she promised Vader, but he should have told her it was for such a terrible thing! Yes, Owen, they’re all going to Alderaan.
So the Lars family runs away to Mos Eisley and get on the Millennium Falcon to Alderaan, while the stormtroopers are standing around like, “Are they… coming… back???” And Han Solo does not know what the hell is going on or what to do about the Weird Old Wizard talking about “universe-penetrating magic”, or the Grumpy Farmer who keeps trying to fix his “piece of junk” ship that excuse you does not need fixing, or the Sunny Farm Boy waving a light sword around, or the kindly old woman who is currently cross-stitching in his back seat and gossiping with Chewie like he’s not even there.
Later, after the Death Star’s been destroyed, Owen and Beru Lars are now a part of the Rebellion with Luke. Beru sends Darth Vader a piece of fabric in the Space Mail, and it’s the little cross-stitched Vader from her OUR FAMILY pillow who’s been cut out because she’s mad at him. (Except her note says DISAPPOINTED and that’s worse.) Darth Vader is more upset about this than the Emperor being mad at him for the destruction of the Death Star.
This is such a wild ride and I want more.
Please, kind writer, may I have some more?
See, the thing about Uncle Darth Vader is that the Lars family lives in the middle of nowhere Tatooine. Luke has to get his news off his friends, who have to get their news from shitty Space Radio, and the Empire’s suppressing a good three-quarters of the terrible things it does. The Lars family, largely, has no idea who this Darth Vader guy is except that he’s Anakin, who did a bunch of shit in the Clone Wars and he’s evil now? (Obi-Wan is dying, guys. He’s dying.)
Oh, yeah, quick summary: the events on the Death Star proceeded more or less as they did in canon. Except Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru don’t make convincing stormtroopers, so they tagged along with the droids and found the Death Star Laundry Service and dressed up as an Empire officer and his wife on their way to a vacation on Beach Resort Planet. Luke and Han sneaking Leia out is a lot easier with Admiral Lars and his wife loudly complaining to every stormtrooper they come across that their ship isn’t being fixed fast enough and sending stormtroopers marching off in every direction.
(The Empire… does not… have high standards… for officers. It is corrupt as hell. The stormtroopers look at this middle-aged, slightly chubby guy complaining obnoxiously about his ship not being fixed fast enough, and his overbearing wife complaining shrilly about not being able to get their deposit back, and are like, “This is legit. Also, sir, I’m part of sanitation, I don’t fix ships. I don’t know where customer service is… this is a Death Star. We don’t have customer service. Uh, I guess my ‘manager’ would be Admiral Bob??? Oh, well, you’re right, I should go clean up that mess you saw on the other floor. I will agree to literally anything you say to get away from you.”)
So, Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru get to the Rebellion, right? (And they have already adopted the heck out of Leia, who has been given ALL the Aunt Beru hugs.) And someone starts listing off ALL of the awful stuff that Darth Vader has done, like, the dude is SUPER EVIL. And the Lars family is just… what. (And it’s a good thing that Obi-Wan is already dead by this point, or Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru would bring him back just to kill him again.)
Luke goes to destroy the Death Star and Vader is just like, “Luke???? What are you doing???” And Luke is ignoring all of Vader’s attempts to comm him and blows up the Death Star while giving his uncle the cold shoulder.
And later, at the Rebellion, people are like “Darth Vader is your uncle???” And Luke’s just like, “YEAH, AND A LIAR!!!” (Later, Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru will have a long talk with Luke about the truth and the lies they told. And Luke will forgive them because he loves them and they love him, but this doesn’t really change much, especially about how mad he is at his dad.)
Later, when they finally meet again. The rebels are just… completely stunned… because Darth Vader is desperately trying to get through to Luke, like, “Luke, nephew, please, let’s just talk about this. Beru won’t answer my voice mails. Owen unfriended me on Space Chat. We can talk about this.”
And Luke is angrily shooting at Darth Vader and shouting, “What’s there to talk about?! It’s not like you LIED TO US ABOUT EVERYTHING YOU DID BY TELLING US YOU WORKED IN I.T.?!??”
Luke Skywalker was despairing for longer than we may admit
it starts with Owen and Beru’s deaths, then Obi-Wan’s, then Biggs’s death. he’s nineteen when he signs up for a suicide mission readily, instinctively, without thinking twice. it just feels like what he’s meant to do.
in Empire Luke nearly gets himself killed and needs Han to risk his own life to save him. and then he manages to slow the Empire but can’t keep them from overrunning the Hoth base.
he tries to train his skills and his patience but neither progress very far. he has visions of becoming his most dreadful, most evil enemy. then he finds out his friends are in danger and runs off to save them, but it turns out to be a trap and he ends up maimed and confronted with a horrible, unbelievable truth
and he literally tries to kill himself. lets go and falls.
in RotJ he turns himself over to Vader and the Emperor out of fear that his friends will be in danger otherwise
he starts the movie watching Leia get captured and debased; Palp and Vader catch on that he’s got a sister and threaten to corrupt Leia as well and he absolutely loses it and nearly goes Dark before he realizes he’s trying to hack his own father to pieces with a saber.
once again, all Luke can do is make peace with his own end, and try not to lose his soul. he is helpless. the war is won as he’s screaming and twitching on the floor in horrendous agony. when he recovers, he finds his father – the father he thought he lost before he ever knew – back from some kind of death, and already dying a second time. there’s so much fatigue and pain layered into the victory. the movie doesn’t even end with the heroes returning to be honored by the galaxy. it’s just a celebration with a little group of allies on a remote planet, watched over by ghosts.
Luke was always going to need to face the fear that his very existence brought suffering and harm and death to everyone he loved. he was never a triumphant, confident champion. he was a young man growing up too fast from relentless loss. when it looked like his worst fears were coming true, he panicked. when his moment of panic brought those fears to fruition, and he crawled out of the wreckage surrounded by dead children he must have loved as if they were his own, he chose, as he did over and over, to surrender his will to live
it takes meeting a strange girl who believes in Luke the way Luke believed in Anakin — a myth, a source of strength and bravery — to tip the scales. he thinks, I’ll lose her the way I lost everyone else. I’m too dangerous. I hurt people I love. just like my father did. and this girl tells him, I believe in what you did for your father. I believe you brought him back, I believe he was saved, I believe anyone can be saved, or deserved to be given a chance.
even the man who hurts the people he loves
I love these metas and analyses that take young, pre-RotJ Luke way more seriously than fandom usually take him.
I need Han to accidentally be force strong, mostly because HE WOULD HATE THAT SO MUCH
“Wow so you’re basically a self-taught Jedi”
“WHAT–ARE YOU–I’M THE BEST PILOT IN–”
“That’s force shit”
“I’M AN EXCELLENT SHOT”
“Yeah, because of the force”
“I’M INCREDIBLY PERSUASIVE”
“That’s the force making people believe your terrible lies against all reason ”
“I’LL SEE YOU IN HELL”
I can picture his reaction now…
No, but this is:
Oh heck
George Lucas can pry Force Sensitive Han from my cold dead hands.
I love everything about this theory, but my favourite part of it by far is now utterly offended he’d be by the suggestion.
i kept scrolling down expecting a punchline but no this is just a kickin’ rad adaption of that scene from ESB!!!! or, wait, of… the entire movies?????? omg
Hey everyone I am incredibly stoned and having a lot of feelings about our like fourth and most explicit canon confirmation that time is non-linear as far the Force is concerned in the Star Wars universe, and what this may actually mean for those who can sense it
Especially when it comes to how Force-sensitives experience memory (premonition as memory of possible future events) and experience their relationships to others (how much can you sense your future feelings about a person before you develop them?) and ESPECIALLY when it comes to attachment and what that implies/means if/when you are able to experience emotion in a non-linear manner.
I mean how many times when we see Force-sensitives fall in love they do it instantly hard and fast, bringing an intensity to the table their non-Force-sensitive partner often does not understand? When that pattern does not manifest, how often in its place do we see the Force-sensitive couching their feelings in terms of restraint or denial, hinting they feel an intensity that has to be held back?
What does it mean if through the Force you can sense the all encompassing love you will one day have for a person you may have only just met, or not met yet at all?
Or to use a truly and fully non-romantic example – when Leia tells Luke she always knew he was her brother somehow, could that have not been her sensing a biological bond, but rather her future relationship with him bleeding through into their past? Much as Padmé – who Leia never knew at all – could bleed through from her past in the form of visions/memories so Leia knew she was kind and beautiful and sad?
THIS IS SUCH A MIND BLOWINGLY FASCINATING THING TO THINK ABOUT.
That time is non-linear in the Star Wars universe, that Force-sensitives are tapping into this thing that is non-linear, which means they can be tapping into everything at once, all across the span of their lives (or possibly greater) and how that affects their (basically psychic) abilities.
How it affects these things that they just “always knew”, how Leia just always felt that connection to Luke, that it’s a little bit some part of her knowing what’s coming (and this puts Force users’ ability to know the future/past into a whole new light, that it’s the Cosmic Force’s non-linear nature brushing up against them) but also that she’s feeling her future feelings and her past feelings.
How it affects someone like Anakin Skywalker, who is already so overloaded with feelings and doesn’t want to do anything less than wholly embrace them–he’s piled on with all of his feelings for Padme over the entire course of his life, that he loves her instantly because he loves her in the future and all of that is jammed into him at once the first time he actually sees her?
What does this mean for Luke, who would be feeling all those terrible things Ben will do, but hasn’t done yet, but he still feels them and they’re still true? What does this mean for all those potential futures that Force-sensitives get a glimpse of, that Force Spirits can see and know would have been true?
I really love how massive and eldritch this makes the Force, how unknowable it can make the Force, because no mortal mind could really understand it, how this explores something new about the Force and yet seems to fit so well with everything else. Emotions in a non-linear manner, no wonder they’re always having to brace themselves, if you’re not only bombarded by what you feel in the moment, but occasionally the entire span of your life, the more you let those feelings run awhile, the more you’re hit with a mac truck of sheer emotions.
Obi-Wan experiencing his ENTIRE LIFE’S WORTH OF GRIEF AT MOMENTS, not knowing what it meant or where it was coming from, only that he sometimes felt this impossibly infinite span of sadness? THANKS, ANON.
just moving along like everyone else 