¯_(ツ)_/¯
I’ve begun to believe that star trek is an elaborate practical joke being played on me by my bitterest enemies
everyone’s acting is so good
Tag: star trek
are we ever going to talk about how you have to get actual permission from both your captain and doctor in order to have sex with an alien
like who sits around Starfleet and makes these rules
For everyone wondering about this:
“All Starfleet personnel must obtain authorization from their CO as well as clearance from their medical officer before initiating an intimate relationship with an alien species.” (VOY: “The Disease”)
It’s true.
this is hilarious
yo captain i wanna bang this alien
sdfsldkfslkj this is the part of Bones’s job he hates the most, going through all the forms on his PADD to give the green-light to all these potential sexual encounters he just WISHES HE DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT IN THE FIRST PLACE but you know he actually DOES SOME RESEARCH to see if people will be COMPATIBLE whereas Jim just ticks the box, all, FREE LOVE, BONES and Bones has to be like GODDAMMIT DID YOU EVEN READ THE FILE, JIM, THEY DON’T EVEN HAvE ORIFICES and Jim is like, wow, Bones, they can still have fun, don’t judge
and bones
hates
everything
This sounds like the sort of rule that got instituted because of something that happened to Kirk, TBH.
It’s referred to in Bones’ log as “The Incident” and Kirk was itchy and purple for weeks
Y’all have got it backwards.
Kirk wanting to bang everything that movies is mostly the parody version of the character. The notion owes more to Zap Brannigan and company than anything out of the original series; yes, Kirk sometimes ends up in compromising positions with female aliens, because he’s a 60s action hero, but he rarely pursues it himself.
In the original series, it’s Bones himself who wants to bang everything with two legs and a pulse.
Like, it’s an actual plot point in multiple episodes.
And let’s be fair. Two legs is probably optional. There’s doubtless an Edosian woman or two that’s been graced with his affections.
Random headcanon: the Starfleet regulation cited above originally required only the clearance of the chief medical officer. The requirement for the CO’s authorisation was added specifically in response to the fallout of Dr. Leonard “Bones” McCoy’s realisation that, by the strict letter of the rules, he could authorise himself to fuck anything.
i will never be over the fact that during first contact a human offered their hand to a vulcan and the vulcan was just like “wow humans are fucking wild” and took it
Humanity’s first contact with Vulcans was some guy going “I’m down to fuck.”
Vulcans’ first contact with Humans was an emphatic “Sure.”
#iiiiiiiiiiiiii mean vulcans had been watching humans for a long time#they knew the significance of a handshake but still#they had to find some fast and loose ambassador#willing to fuckin make out with a human for the sake of not offending them on first contact#lmao#star trek
give me the story of this fast and loose vulcan
Page three of Star Trek novel “Killing Time”, in which the Bond is addressed in the same breath that Kirk ditches Scotty on the bridge so he and Spock can go get brunch
What if Scotty is not actually Scottish, though?
Like, what if his name just happens to be Montgomery Scott, so all of his friends started calling him “Scotty,” and then every time he was introduced to a new person, they would be like “Oh, are you Scottish? My uncle was Scottish!”
And finally, he just gets sick of explaining the situation, so he starts replying with “aye, laddie!” But then it turns out that the person he said that to was Captain Kirk, and he doesn’t want to admit that he lied to his new commanding officer, so he has to keep speaking in a ridiculously over-the-top brogue and commenting constantly on how much he loves drinking Scotch, and by the time that he realises that Kirk would have found humour in the situation, he’s in too deep and can’t stop pretending, and it gradually just becomes his normal speech pattern.
Then, years later, the Enterprise is being inspected by a Starfleet engineer who’s actually Scottish, and Scotty takes him on a walking tour of his warp engines and is all like “Auch! Here be me wee bairns!” and the other engineer is just like “what the fuck is wrong with you?”
I take the fact that James Doohan is Canadian as evidence of this theory.
Scotty hacking into his Starfleet personnel file to alter his place of birth.
Scotty soundproofing his quarters on the Enterprise so that no one can hear him teach himself to play the bagpipes from instructional videos.
Scotty making a great show of taking a shuttle down to Aberdeen to “visit his family” every time the Enterprise is in Earth orbit and then, once on the ground, discreetly site-to-site transporting himself to Vancouver or whatever.
None of these things are out of character or beyond his technical ability.
Yeah, but also in character: Jim Kirk has known since Day 1 that Scotty is not, in fact, Scottish, but is just sitting there waiting to see how far Scotty is willing to go to keep the story going. It started out as an “enough rope” situation but now it’s one of Jim’s greatest ongoing sources of entertainment and he wouldn’t admit at gunpoint that he knows.
Honestly, Kirk would actively claim to have met Scotty’s Extremely Scottish Family/visited them in Aberdeen just to keep it going.
spock: self care is meditation, organizing your thoughts, and applying logic to you situation in times when your mind is not at peace
kirk: self care is drinking fifteen red bulls and launching yourself into space so you can go get in a fistfight on the astral plane with an alien who says hes god
spock: jim. no
just moving along like everyone else 