Tag: sigh

taliabobalia:

taliabobalia:

it’s pretty wild that this reality is what we got in exchange for the cubs breaking their world series curse. not worth it imo.

i can fully imagine some dudebro cubs megafan drunkenly stumbling into a magic time machine & it telling him he can change 1 thing in the world and his go-to was for the cubs to win. now every day he watches the butterfly effect of his decision destroy all of humanity, with zero memory of that magic time machine because he was mad wasted. telling himself, sure, the world is rapidly going to so much shit, but at least i got to see my cubbies break the curse of the billy goat.

The sings as people who didn’t understand what the “Sings as” post was a reference to

miss-serket:

Aries: “I guess I’m ok with mine.”
Taurus: “Wow this makes me feel super confident.” 
Gemini: “Half of me thinks this is stupid, the other half feels i may be an in-joke.”
Cancer: “Fucking unrealistic I hate this. Unfollowed.”
Leo: “Wow I DO like cats!”
Virgo: “I don’t act like that, this isn’t worth a reblog.”
Libra: “To be fair I did lick that swingset that one time.”
Scorpio: “This is total shit, they’re talking about spiders. It’s Scorpio, idiots.” 
Sagittarius: “Wow this is like… So me… I feel it on a deep level. Horses, yeah.” 
Capricorn: “Haha lol what?”
Aquarius: “Everyone knows astrology is fake you asshole.” 
Peixes: “They spelled Pisces wrong???”

itsbenedict:

you know there’s gotta be football on the moon. you know for a fact people are up there with two craters as the end zones, tackling each other in low gravity. and you know know, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that the fucking football has a speaker inside that is constantly blasting the Super Mario Bros 2 overworld theme. maybe they’ve terraformed the place enough that its atmosphere can support sound waves. maybe they haven’t, and the speaker is useless, and no one can hear each other. that’s not going to stop people from ineffectually shouting “JOHN MADDEN” every time they take possession. if a meme ball’s on the moon and no one hears it, it still makes a sound.

How The Signs Will Die

Aries: Dead from the beginning
Taurus: Stabbed through by their enemy
Gemini: Tripping down a flight of stairs
Cancer: Pushed into lava
Leo: Protecting their best friend
Virgo: Fakes own death, is actually still living happily
Libra: Death by lovesickness
Scorpio: Doesn’t die, just… disappears
Sagittarius: Murdered by a superior
Capricorn: Rightfully murdered
Aquarius: Sawed in half
Pisces: Murdered by ex-lover

the signs as weird shit they did in d&d

aries: broke a temple on the first meet, which later became crucial to defeating one of the major bosses.
taurus: created a small army of tamed animals to fight for them.
gemini: exploited the rules to get a rocket pack for another player.
cancer: tried to boss everyone around but ended up arguing with themselves.
leo: made shipping charts. for everyone. killed wild animals and ate them instead of bothering to buy rations.
virgo: became a vampire. somehow convinced the dm to let them wield a chainsaw.
libra: took lawful neutral to new levels. licked everything as a free action.
scorpio: pushed taurus off a cliff. twice.
sagittarius: used a bow the entire time, even though they didn’t have proficiency with it.
capricorn: fucked around for most of the campaign. somehow became part of the main villain?
aquarius: kept killing all of the npcs, even though they clearly weren’t supposed to.
pisces: had civil conversations with cthulhu.