If the ocean ever disappears DONT GO LOOKING FOR IT… go in the other direction
i know this sounds like a shitpost but isn’t this like, real advice regarding tsunamis
Yes this was about hurricane Irma it is not a shitpost
This is actually really good advice so let me elaborate a bit: if you notice the tide is retreating very quickly at a very odd time of day, get as far away from water and as high up as you can. I live along the ocean and a long time ago we had a small tsunami and a relative of mine tells me how her father saw the tides retreating so he just picked her up and just ran, which probably saved their lives.
So yeah DONT LOOK FOR THE MISSING OCEAN just run away
ocean not lost, ocean is actually winding up to kick you very hard in the nuts.
I appreciate how I wasnt sure at first if this was good advice, a Night Vale post, or a Stephen Universe post.
Almost all skulls speak only truth. Finding skulls that tell useful truths is harder. Visit truthskull.com today to find out if our skull verification services are right for your business.
Fuck this shill bullshit. I asked these TruthShill losers for one–just one!–skull that can tell me which late-night Arby’s parking lots are best for getting railed by werewolves in. They had security escort me out of the building.
0/10 TRUTHSUCK, THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAUS RIGHT!!!
Ma’am we are… We’re trying to run a business here. We could not take your many proposed alternate names for our website. Do you know how long we agonised over truthskull.com? It was hard. There were late nights. Coffee was drank. You can’t just burst in with suggestions like theywontletyoufucktheskulls.com at 2am. We just… We can’t take that kind of….. You made poor jimmy cry. Poor jimmy who tries so hard. Please ma’am. Please take your business and your saucy skulls elsewhere. One of them only spoke rude words.
1) Fuck you
2) it’s false advertising if you don’t tell me upfront that I can’t fuck the skulls, and also entrapment. I’m an american and I my rights are protected by the constitution
3) what kind of skull brothel are you even running. that’s like opening a Wendys™ where the drive-thru guy won’t even sell you weed
3) also fuck. You
4) and fuck jimmy in particular, that was only a HALF nelson and i even let him go without a ten count
they let you fuck the skulls if you ask nice enough
wal-mart: pedestrian, boring, you can do better. 2/10
target: a slightly better crying experience than wal-mart. the scent is strangely comforting, the lights however are too bright and make for a slightly unpleasant cry. there is however oftentimes a starbucks and a mini pizza hut inside for you to drown your sorrows in. 6/10, points for optimal post-cry atmosphere
an apple store: absolutely not. people cry in the apple store all the time because they cant afford the latest rose gold bullshit apple’s put out. overdone and cliche. 1/10
publix: points lost for the sterile and inhospitable environment butif you cry in a publix a gator WILL smell your tears and come to eat you. being eaten by a gator is in fact slightly preferable to crying in a publix. 6/10 for the gator
whole foods: an excellent place for a cry, people will probably assume that you are a wealthy emotional person who cant decide between quinoa or couscous and are having a real problem with it. 8.5/10
nordstrom: plenty of chairs for collapsing into especially in the shoe department but you WILL be accosted by salespeople. they work on commission and are hungry for your money. 7/10 for style
ikea: OPTIMAL crying destination, can climb into a bed and have a total mental breakdown and nobody will ever be the wiser, the employees WILL NOT bother you under any circumstances, comfortable and accessible, 10/10
hot topic: no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 0/10
Ok but why don’t people understand there is a difference between nightblogging and shitposting??
nightblogging is like “What if apples screamed when we bit them?”
Shitposting is like “a crisp one donger bill”
One is more coherent than the other.
i’m glad we’re focusing on the important issues here at tumblr.com
nightblogging has more of a focus on theoreticals, especially in stating absurd thoughts in normal ways. think the kind of stuff your best friend says to you at a sleepover at 3 am after the lights have gone out and neither of you have slept in 20 hours or more– a “what if” question isn’t unsual in and of itself, but the unreal subject matter (apples screaming when you bite them) makes it funny. shit posting is more often the opposite, stating normal things in ways that make them absurd. “a crisp one dollar bill” isn’t funny or unusual, but replacing “dollar” with the absurdist internet word “donger” is what makes it funny & thus a shitpost. it’s not necessarily that one is more coherent, but that they’re differentiated both by form and by lexicon. nightblogging is surrealism, shitposting is dada
the deeper level of the zone that kagami reaches at the end if knb is basically super saiyan level 2 except not bc it doesnt have the speed problem and is about friendship
so i guess the zone beyond the zone is super saiyan god
just moving along like everyone else 