u know i’ve expressed my love for fake married/fake dating many, many times but like. is anything better. is anything better on this earth. does any trope or genre truly care for us quite like this one. let us reflect on a few of the gifts that fake married/dating consistently gives us:
character a asks “hey, will you pretend to be my date for a week for [convoluted excuse that could easily be solved without a fake relationship]?” character b, fully convinced of the futility of their DEEP AND UNREQUITED LOVE, figures this’ll be a chance to spend time with them and possibly put their feelings to rest. character b is always wrong & it is always amazing.
having to SHARE A LIVING SPACE FOR ARBITRARY FIC REASONS. having to see eachother in their pajamas first thing in the morning, messy haired, drowsy eyed and soft faced. going from “you can have the bathroom first” to brushing their teeth beside eachother and feeling like this closeness has always existed (at the same time, painfully aware that it won’t always).
related to the last one — “”practicing”” their casual touching so that it’s easier when they’re in public. feeling SWOOPS OF ARDOR AND AGONY when they feel the brush of a hand on their neck, or an arm loop around their waist. don’t you love how fake marrieds/dates are always method actors who must FULLY INHABIT their roles. i love it. i live for it.
bed sharing. :^) we all pretend we’re bigger than this but we are not.
“kiss me while everyone’s looking.”
the character who wasn’t aware they were in love (maybe always had been) until the fake relationship is in full swing, realizing they have to sort their feelings out before their time together is up. sometimes they succeed and angst is minimal. most of the time they don’t, really.
telling eachother “i love you” in public and meaning it, heart aching over it, but bELIEVING THE OTHER 2 BE ACTING. my soul is still 15, this garbage still gets me. u don’t get pining better than this.
the days leading up to the end of the arrangement where one of them, still confused and muddy about their Feelings and unsure how to break things off, stiffens to the casual, reflexive touching and puts their walls back up. the other one accepts and respects this as the end of their agreement and squashes back down all the hope they ever had, stuffs it next to the heartbreak they’re ignoring deep in their chest.
when they realize they’re actually fully and enthusiastically mutual about the way they feel and it’s, like, two parts euphoria and one part agony because they just cannOT BELIEVE, the happiness tears them in two. maybe there are weepy or laughing kisses. i don’t know but i’m usually invested like 2000%. i love fake dating/marrieds.
maybe lesbians ship so much m/m stuff not because they are “sexualizing” the gender that they aren’t even remotely attracted to, but because they want to navigate and explore the narrative of a gay relationship they care about.
and maybe because female characters are so monumentally underwritten across the board – in terms of relationships with each other and sheer personal character development – said lesbians cannot muster the investment they can for two male characters. maybe thats why there isn’t as much f/f content out there. it’s not some moral failing or internalized homophobia, it’s a sheer lack of well-rounded content
but u know. don’t ask me i’m just a girl math is hard!!
when i first start shipping something: i need a heart wrenching fic that really captures the characters’ darkness along with an intriguing plot to keep me on my toes
after a while: awww yeah bagel au
Honestly the most important part of height difference OTPs: when the taller one lifts the shorter one’s chin so they can kiss them. Bonus points if it’s gentle and the shorter one wasn’t expecting it.
It’s even better when the shorter one comes up from behind the other while they’re seated and lifts the taller one’s chin up so they can kiss them.
came back from the dead just to reblog this addition. fucking slow clap. you’re right, IT IS BETTER.
You can ship whatever you want. No exceptions. Shipping is
Not about what is canon
Can be about what you think is hot
Can be about aesthetic
Can be about nothing in canon
Can be because you think the dynamic is interesting
Can be because of what you think would happen if two characters interacted
Can be just because you like characters
Can be wish fulfillment
Any other reason
Doesn’t matter canon sexuality, situation, etc. It’s what AUs are for.
Fandom is for fun. Get over it.
PS: People are allowed to ship multiple things for the same character. Liking one ship for a character doesn’t automatically mean they hate all the others.
Aright friendos, since some of y’all don’t seem to realize “except for” means you already missed the point lemme lay it down for you.
Now you kids seem nice, like your heart is in the right place, but you need to work on those listening skills and maybe some of that reading comprehension. Also try like the rest of us to cope with the fact that fiction isn’t reality.
Yes it can influence and impact, but it isn’t a magic override button to a person’s morals. If someone uses that media to influence someone, it isn’t the media’s fault anymore than it’s a knife’s fault it stabbed someone. Put blame where it belongs: ON THE GROSS FUCKIN PEOPLE TOUCHING THEIR UNDERAGED COUSINS.
Whether or not something is wrong in reality has no impact on whether it is allowed to be depicted and enjoyed in fiction (and no not purely in a sexual way. Things can be enjoyed non-sexually or from a narrative/hypothetical standpoint)
And how exactly does it erase it? By which I mean, how does it make Dirk stop being gay in canon? How does it stop Kanaya from being married to Rose? I know that Homestuck is very fandom driven, but whatever the fandom is doing, it doesn’t make ANYTHING in canon different. Someone deciding they like Dirk and Roxy’s dynamic, or how Kanaya and Eridan look together doesn’t suddenly make those things canon.
You don’t suddenly not have those gay characters. And if it’s about how other people perceive characters differently because of popular fanon vs what’s actually canon, then suck it the fuck up because EVERYONE in EVERY FANDOM has had to deal with that on one level or another and take solace in the fact that WHAT’S CANON IS CANON.
FANDOM is for the stuff that ISN’T CANON which is LITERALLY EVERYTHING NOT THE SOURCE MATERIAL. You are just as flawed as everyone else and people by nature aren’t concrete so it is not your place any more than anyone else’s to tell them how they enjoy media is wrong.
You are allowed to dislike it, you are allowed to be creeped out or upset by it, you are allowed to think it’s cringy, fuck, you are allowed to even complain about it or even say you don’t get it to others. But you don’t get to march up to someone’s inbox and tell them they are wrong and bad because of your likely just as flawed and uninformed opinion. Even if you put a lot of thought into it, even if you think your rightness is pure and logical, when you fail to consider the viewpoints and reasoning of other people how you want your views to be treated, you really don’t have the right to judge how another person EXPERIENCES FICTION.
Unless they have laid a hand on an ACTUAL REAL BREATHING child, family member, or abused a partner, you do not get to label them as if they have.
Incest, pedophilia, abuse, murder, etc, ARE all wrong… IN REAL LIFE. NO ONE is arguing that, no one EVER WAS arguing that, but fiction is where people get to explore what they want, without the restraints of real life limitations and even their own real life morals. UNDERSTAND THAT. THAT IS WHAT I AM DEFENDING.
Oh well I can actually help you out with that. I do very much recommend UPS (especially over FedEx since that’s just a sorry state of affairs over there).
It’s easy on the website too to get everything together, just go here and you should be able to do domestic shipment. If you have any questions about international shipping and the best route to take for that and getting your commercial invoices together, let me know (and I’m assuming what your shipping isn’t valued over $2500 so we don’t have to deal with an ITN number). We can talk about if you’re looking to schedule a pick up or take it to a UPS store too.
just moving along like everyone else 