Tag: sexism

fozmeadows:

sashayed:

You guys, you must stop doing this. You must. We cannot keep yelling at you about it because it makes us so angry, and we are already angry all the time, about real things, like how our lives are turning into a real world Handmaid’s Tale, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haha ha ha ha ha ha. We cannot keep spending our energy being mad at mediocre men for writing mediocre books that inexplicably win awards and that people tell us to read, for some fucking godawful who knows reason.

So men. My guys. My dudes. My bros. My writers. I am begging you to help me here. When you have this man in your workshop, you must turn to him. You must take his clammy hands in yours. You must look deep into his eyes, his man eyes, with your man eyes, and you must say to him, “Peter, I am a man, and you are a man, so let us talk to each other like men. Peter, look at the way you have written about the only four women in this book.” And Peter will say, trying to free his hands, “What? These are sexy, dynamic, interesting women.” And you must grip his hands even tighter and you must say to him, “ARE THEY, PETER? Why are they interesting? What are their hobbies? What are their private habits? What are their strange dreams? What choices are they making, Peter? They are not making choices. They are not interesting. What they are is sexy, and you have those things confused, and not in the good way where someone’s interestingness makes them become sexy, like Steve Buscemi or Pauline Viardot. Why must women be sexy to be interesting to you? The women you don’t find sexy are where, Peter? They are invisible? They are all dead?” He is trying to escape! Tighten your grasp. “Peter, look at this. I mean, where to begin. ‘She could have been any age between eighteen and thirty-five?’ There are no other ages, I guess? Do you know what eighteen-year-olds really look like, in life? Do you know what thirty-SEVEN-year-olds look like, god forbid? And not that this is even the point, but why are these supposedly sexy and dynamic and interesting women BOTHERING with your boring garbage ‘on the skinny side of average’ protagonist? Why did you write it like this, Peter?” 

And maybe Peter will say at last, “I don’t know.” Maybe he will be silent for a long long long time, and then maybe he will say, “I guess it’s scary and difficult for me to imagine the interiority of women because then i would have to know that my mother had an interiority of her own: private, petty, sexually unstimulating, strange: unrelated to me and undevoted to my needs. That sometimes I was nothing to my mother, just as sometimes she is nothing to me. That I was not at all times her immediate concern.”

“I know, Peter,” you can tell him gently.

“I don’t want to know that my mother was a human being with an internal life, because to know that would be to risk a frightening intimacy with her,” Peter will say, maybe. “Because to know that would be to know that she was only a small, complicated person, no bigger or smaller than I am, and I am so small. To know how alone she was. How alone I am. How alone we all are. That my mother survived with no resources more mysterious than my own. And yet she gave me life. My God: she gave me life. How can I pay her back for that? And how can I forgive her for it? How can I ever repay her for the good and the evil of it, my life, every day of my life?” He will be sobbing probably. “I am frightened of her. I am frightened of loneliness. I am frightened of dying. O God. My God. I didn’t know. I didn’t know.” Drool will run from his mouth as he cries. The way babies cry. He will be ashamed. You must hold him. You must say, “Shh, Peter. Shh.” Wrap your man arms around him. Hum into his thin hair as your own mother hummed once into your own sweet-smelling baby scalp. Kiss him gently on his mouth. There. You did it, men. You fixed sexism. Thank you. You’re the real hero here, as always, you men, and your special man powers, for making art. 

put this in the smithsonian and then bury me with it

The female price of male pleasure

giandujakiss:

Women are constantly and specifically trained out of noticing or responding to their bodily discomfort, particularly if they want to be sexually “viable.” Have you looked at how women are “supposed” to present themselves as sexually attractive? High heels? Trainers? Spanx? These are things designed to wrench bodies. Men can be appealing in comfy clothes. They walk in shoes that don’t shorten their Achilles tendons. They don’t need to get the hair ripped off their genitals or take needles to the face to be perceived as “conventionally” attractive. They can — just as women can — opt out of all this, but the baseline expectations are simply different, and it’s ludicrous to pretend they aren’t.

The old implied social bargain between women and men (which Andrew Sullivan calls “natural”) is that one side will endure a great deal of discomfort and pain for the other’s pleasure and delight. And we’ve all agreed to act like that’s normal, and just how the world works….

Women are supposed to perform comfort and pleasure they do not feel under conditions that make genuine comfort almost impossible. Next time you see a woman breezily laughing in a complicated and revealing gown that requires her not to eat or drink for hours, know a) that you are witnessing the work of a consummate illusionist acting her heart out and b) that you have been trained to see that extraordinary, Oscar-worthy performance as merely routine.Now think about how that training might filter down to sexual contexts….

One side effect of teaching one gender to outsource its pleasure to a third party (and endure a lot of discomfort in the process) is that they’re going to be poor analysts of their own discomfort, which they have been persistently taught to ignore.

The female price of male pleasure

roachpatrol:

elfangorwasprettyrad:

danguy96:

superman–thanksforasking:

Tumblr: Not every story needs a romance plot!

Also Tumblr: *adds a gay romance plot to every story*

Tumblr: It’s okay when we do it, because it appeals to our fetishes, even if we say it’s “because progressiveness!”

to be fair a lot of hetero romance feels forced as fuck, and if it wasnt literally everywhere i wouldnt have an issue with it. dont really watch movies  but seeing actually healthy gay relationships is rare the times i do watch tv

a lot of women: we’re really tired of constantly seeing trite heteronormative bullshit romances shoehorned in to every piece of media, no matter how flat the female character or unappealing the male character, that never lets us forget our place as sexual accessories to men. also, a whole bunch of us are queer. also queer men are here too. 

a lot of women: so we’re going to write our own romances that are actually hot and appealing as well as useful for exploring— or escaping— the various traumas and kinks we’ve picked up around living in a world that sees us as sexual accessories. relationships based on equality and friendship, or relationships that specifically foreground inequality and exploitation, are really hot and fun to examine in the context of a couple hundred thousand words of hardcore gay smut— 

inevitable dudes: but this makes us uncomfortable! because you’re sexual accessories, your involvement with sex should be as a passive receiver, a subject, not an active agent, let alone a creator or an instigator. we’re going to make fun of you now until you stop. 

a lot of women: it turns out that once you read a couple hundred thousand words of hardcore gay smut you get a lot harder to shame. 

nicediscourse:

tangerinefemme:

tangerinefemme:

tangerinefemme:

tangerinefemme:

tangerinefemme:

tangerinefemme:

not to be all “tw*light did nothing wrong” but misogyny honest to god killed the hunger games

it was no masterpiece sure but it also sure as hell wasnt the love triangle bullshit everyone made it out to be. seriously everyone blames this whole “YA fiction with the special One and teens overthrowing the oppressive government tropes” trend on the hunger games but the truth is that none of those books are anything like thg

god!!! im mad!! name one cliche YA novel where the government actually is BAD like not just “oh love is illegal” or “they barcode you!!uwu” instead of like. actual slavery and rampant poverty while the rich waste their money on dumb bullshit!! and name one main character who ACTUALLY suffers under the government’s regime!! who actually starves and works and suffers and has genuine REASON to rebel!! thg is the only YA book that had anything to say about wealth disparity and the dehumanization of the poor,, every other YA book uses it as a plot device to put some dumbass romance together or show how “badass” the MC is!! thg is genuinely emotional and the focus of the book isnt katniss’s archery and how cool she is and its NOT gale or fucking peeta bread. and then the marketing for the stupid fucking movies took the WHOLE POINT OF THE BOOK (which is to satirize and critique how women in entertainment have any serious things about them ignored in favor of whatever dress theyre wearing or who they’re dating) and turns that into……….. a fucking love triangle. and then the world forgets it because its just another dumb teen girl series. okay. 

Me @ myself rn

oh also last thing. the fact that at the end katniss chose to kill Coin (the rebel leader/soon to be newest dictator) instead of just having a plain and simple boring happy ending shows just how different thg is from the YA fiction its compared to. no other book in this genre would have the guts (or even the idea) to put out such a blatant, obvious “the fight against oppression never ends, stay diligent” message and thg is iconic for it and it shows how much thought was actually put into its message. im sorry to susan collins for my 12 yo self for not understanding at the time and thinking it was just bad writing

thanks to everyone adding on about the representation! about finnick’s story and being trafficked! and about peeta and his disability!! and katniss and her  indigenous coding and PTSD!! And about how it shows how war n dictatorships always prey on marginalized groups!! and a billion other things!!! that the movies just fucked off n forgot about!!!

I remember reading these books and being SO struck by the part where Katniss and Peeta were at a party and the rich were throwing up to eat more food and that was just so disgusting to them because their whole lives, they didn’t have enough to eat (more so for katniss) yet in the capitol there was some excess of food and food was treated like a thing to indulge in and throw around. I still remember reading that and realizing what it was truly like for them, how katniss’s relationship with food differed so much from what I was used to. Those books made me think critically about the rich when I was only in middle school and they deserve more credit.

bae-in-maine:

fidnru:

it was really heartening to learn that the purpose of creating such a thick uterine lining during the menstrual period was to prevent the implantation of embryos rather than encourage them, and that our uterus is basically flushing out anything it deems unworthy during the period itself rather than “punishing” us for not being pregnant (which is how it’s usually framed). it’s almost as if your female body is more concerned with the protection and continuation of itself rather than being used as a procreative vessel.

the fact that we’ve come to accept the idea that our reproductive organs are punishing us for not being continuously pregnant is proof of how deeply patriarchal brainwashing has convinced women that we are nothing but broodmares for ‘their’ children.

Oh wow. Damn.

marysuewhipple:

marysuewhipple:

I’m perfectly capable of enjoying the idea of “person A, a hero, ‘saves’ person b, a villain, with the power of love” in a fictional context, and all the different ways it can play out, while also recognizing that it’s a bad idea to try to save someone from themselves if they’re dangerous in real life. I’m an adult and I understand the difference. My enjoyment if hero/villain ships in fiction does not inform my real life relationship choices. On the contrary, they allow a safe outlet me to explore and live out these ideas without suffering negative consequences in my real life.

This continued insistence by self-described feminists that I actually don’t know the difference, and am potentially endangering myself by consuming fiction featuring that trope, is not helpful. It’s not progressive or radical. It’s not liberating or empowering. It’s not “smashing the patriarchy.”

On the contrary, it’s nothing but a rehash of old misogynistic stand-bys: that women can’t be trusted to understand their own thoughts and emotions, that they have to be told what they feel and think and why, that women are blinded by innate naivety and compassion, or by sexual desire, that women need a guiding hand to protect them from their own bad judgment.

The fact that it’s women applying this to other women this time around. does not magically make it okay, does not make it less condescending, less patronizing, less violating. Women have been enforcing misogynistic social norms for other women for ages; this is nothing new. It’s no different than when my female Sunday school teachers told me that my body is inherently a temptation to sin, and I must take counter-measures to prevent others from falling from grace by covering it at the expense of my own comfort. It’s no different than when they told me that women who aren’t virgins are equivalent to chewed up gum or licked cupcakes. Sexism doesn’t stop being sexism because it’s enforced laterally.

It’s funny that these people keep implying that women who enjoy this fictional trope have a savior complex. From where I’m sitting, we aren’t the ones trying to save people who don’t need or want to be saved.

Honestly I think we need a name for this kind of condescending “it’s for their own good” themarysue-style fauxminism and I’m formally submitting “helicopter feminism” as that name.

do you know any good readings on the effects of colonialism on modern concepts of gender? i’ve seen you talk a lot about this and i’m interested to read more into it

gothhabiba:

Heterosexualism and the Colonial / Modern Gender System, María Lugones 

Colonial Dependence and Sexual Difference: Reading for Gender in the Writings of Simón Bolívar (1783-1830), Catherine Davies

(you can download those last two articles here if you don’t have access to jstor)

The Coloniality of Gender, Maria Lugones

Romancing the Transgender Native, Evan B. Towle and Lynn M. Morgan

Scientific Racism and the Emergence of the Homosexual Body, Siobhan Somerville

Asexuality as a white supremacist dream

The Empire of Sexuality, Joseph Massa

Women and Men, Cloth and Colonization: The Transformation of Production-Distribution Relations among the Baule (Ivory Coast) (Femmes et hommes, pagnes et colonisation: la transformation des relations de production et de distribution chez les Baule de Côte d’Ivoire), Mona Etienne

“Some Could Suckle over Their Shoulder”: Male Travelers, Female Bodies, and the Gendering of Racial Ideology, 1500-1770, Jennifer L. Morgan

White Sexual Imperialism: A Theory of Asian Feminist Jurisprudence, Sunny Woan

Rethinking Sex-Positivity, Rebecca John

Women of Color Seen As Always Sexually Available, Jaclyn Friedman 

skyheartstar13:

jasper-rolls:

maxiesatanofficial:

rune-midgarts:

pavlovpuppy:

rune-midgarts:

witchceon:

laynedanielle:

beardhairdontcare:

What does this say

Is this real life

I never knew being an incel required such a high iq like this

look i love this subreddit the chinese chad cuck story was a classic

the

what

original rebloggable here

how is literally every sentence in this more amazing than the last

“i never spoke to her but i tipped her a lot and then gave her a note saying i want to marry her out of nowhere” how are these guys surprised that no-one wants to fuck them

@mcnuggyy

messiestobjects:

out-there-on-the-maroon:

aimmyarrowshigh:

zygote-jesus:

coffee-without-a-pause:

thepuppyclub:

rum:

thepuppyclub:

how insidious to make young girls buy hundreds of dollars worth of makeup, to force them to read up on its theory, to make them practice it for hours in order to escape mockery, to make them feel safe only when performing this hyper femininity, and then to even have the audacity to package it in feminist language so that they firmly believe it sets them free.

who called you out on your sloppy wings

I know you probably think you’re really witty, but I just want you to know that you, and all the other people who made that joke, prove my point exactly.

This is why I have an issue with feminists shouting “let women wear make-up”. Like, not only is it expected to wear make-up, but it’s encouraged and the younger the better (cute pinkish lipstick for pre-teen girls, cute and sparkly eyeshadow for pre-teens again)

Whenever I see a post about girls to “LET THEM WEAR MAKE-UP”, well… there’s nothing stopping them or you, really. Actually, it’s quite the opposite. Society pushes you to wear make up and have the most perfect make-up skills ever. And if it takes you 15 minutes for a full contour, shade, highlight, you’re praised.

Seriously, girls get more shit for not wearing make-up.

If you want to fight for the right to wear make-up, please shift to “MEN ARE ALLOWED TO WEAR MAKE-UP”. Also, please fight for the right for girls and women to not wear make-up.

Because for each post of you fighting for girls to have the right to wear make-up because it’s feminist and it will free them, there are ten companies behind your back who wrinkle their hand cause you’re doing the job for them.

I get asked at least once a week why I don’t “just try wearing makeup. It’s super simple you can even learn how on youtube!” 
I don’t want to. 

I don’t like makeup. 

I don’t want to wear it. 

Or buy it. 

Or have anything to do with it. 

If you tell me I could use it to cover up my acne, or my red face, and it will feel empowering™ to be able to ‘choose how i look’ you’re a fucking douche and not a feminist at all. 

women who wear makeup statistically make more money at the same jobs and skill level as women who don’t. women who wear makeup to interviews are more likely to be hired than women who don’t. women who perform adequate femininity in court are more likely to be acquitted or given the minimum sentence. one of the things taken into consideration by psychiatry and psychology about women seeking treatment is whether they’re wearing makeup – because women who wear makeup are seen as more likely to be sane and/or “responding appropriately.” not even getting into how much so-called “feminist” language on social media is couched in otherizing women who don’t want to, or can’t, put time and money into performing hyperfemininity “for themselves! to feel brave! to show you’re tough! :))))) be beautiful because you’re worth being objectified, girl!”

when women are literally systematically and personally punished for NOT spending time and money on makeup, you absolutely cannot pretend that makeup, as an industry and element of culture, is feminist. no one’s eyeliner is ever going to be sharp enough to slay the patriarchy. seriously.

It’s not just men doing this to us. I work at a female-owned company and I was told I needed to “shape up” and start wearing makeup so I’d get hired full time. I had to learn how to do makeup well, fast, and spend lots of money getting the right products, in order to prove I was somehow taking my job “seriously.” My work was fine, it was the lack of makeup that was an issue. 

This kind of stuff makes women cut each other down too. Men have trained us to police each other about this. Don’t buy into that “it’s empowering” crap, even if it’s coming from other women.

“i know what’ll really stick it to all those men who want me to be sexually attractive to them by spending my money on makeup! i know exactly how to scare them off and get revenge: by spending my money on makeup and wearing it around them! i’ll do the same thing with my shoes: scare them off and declare myself disobedient by wearing exactly what they want me to wear! they think it looks sexy but little do they know my secret trump card: i feel sexy when i match their standards of sexiness! this is absolute peak praxis!”