self care is creating a life you don’t routinely have to escape from
Tag: self care
self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the Fucking void
May we suggest a Soothing Bath™ instead
I always advise people to take the love language test, and not so much as a means of learning how you need to be loved by a romantic partner but learning how you need to be loved by yourself.
For instance, if your love language is acts of service then doing nice things for yourself could be a form of self-care. Taking yourself out on dates, treating yourself to nice things when possible, and making accommodations for yourself. If your love language is physical touch, this could mean you lean more toward topical or aromatic self-care methods. You may want to buy body butters and lotions and the act of rubbing on your own body could be soothing; lighting candles, incense, or aroma therapy oils in your dwelling areas may also soothe you.
My love language is words of affirmation so of course, that is exactly what I do for myself. I write sticky notes tailored to my current emotional needs during that time and keep them up on my walls for as long as I see necessary. I recite my daily affirmations while I do my skincare routine, or when I’m in the shower.
Discovering your love language can be beneficial in romantic relationships but even more beneficial in your current relationship with yourself.
Not sure if this is useful to anyone, but I had a big breakthroughs in my idea of self-care recently when I applied a phrase I use to combat negative self-talk – “Would you talk to a close friend that way?” – and reframed it as: “Would you care for a friend that way?”
Imagine my friend came to visit and she got hungry. Would I say, “Wait five hours until I’m done with this project and then you can eat a granola bar?” No, I would not. Would I say, “I’m don’t have time to go grocery shopping for you, so why don’t you spend three days straight eating this years-old Ramen I found in the basement that one of my old roommates left behind?” No, I would not. If her clothes got dirty, would I say, “I’m too lazy to scrounge up some quarters so why don’t you wear these ill-fitting clothes from Goodwill with holes in them?” No, I would not. If she had a day off, would I say, “I can’t be bothered to find something good for you to do; why don’t you just sit on the couch reading depressing internet articles all day?” No I would not. And if I were at a party, and she was tired and feeling uncomfortable and wanted to go home, would I say, “Stop being such an awkward loser, stay here and smile at people so they don’t think you’re rude?” No, I would not. A person I treated that way would be justified in wondering if she was my friend at all.
But, needless to say, I treat myself that way all the time. Once my friend has all her basic needs taken care of, sure, we can go for manicures and massages after. But that’s not the point. The point is making sure she’s fed and washed and clothed and comfortable; and I don’t think I’m the only one who has a whole lot of trouble even getting to that point.
pretentious illiterate (that’s their username, not an insult) on Metafilter (via gazztron)
just moving along like everyone else 