Star-struck Interviewer: “You must miss the good old days.”
Steve Rogers: “I grew up in a tenement slum. Rats, lice, bedbugs, one shared bathroom per floor with a bucket of water to flush, cast iron coal-burning stove for cooking and heat. Oh, and coal deliveries – and milk deliveries, if you could get it – were by horse-drawn cart. One summer I saw a workhorse collapse in the heat, and the driver started beating it with a stick to make it get up. We threw bricks at the guy until he ran away. Me and Bucky and our friends used to steal potatoes or apples from the shops. We’d stick them in tin cans with some hot ashes, tie the cans to some twine, and then swing ‘em around as long as we could to get the ashes really hot. Then we’d eat the potato. And there were the block fights. You don’t know what a block fight was? That’s when the Irish or German kids who lived on one block and the Jewish or Russian kids who lived on the next block would all get together into one big mob of ethnic violence and beat the crap out of each other. One time I tore a post out of a fence and used it on a Dutch kid who’d called Bucky a Mick. Smacked him in the head with the nails.”
Steve Rogers uses voice to text to send texts and formats them like a telegram
HEY BUCK STOP SAM AND I ARE OUT SHOPPING STOP WANT US TO PICK UP SOME TAKEOUT STOP
Steve rogers fully understands that this is not the correct way to text. He just likes the absolute outrage it causes every time someone receives a text from him and wants to see how many times he can make the same people explain texting to him until they realize. Sam is currently at 14 times, beating out tony who’s at nine. Twice now shuri has facetimed him after reading bucky’s texts. He’s also managed to convince thor that this is the Earth Way to text and it’s great
I love this HOWEVER steve does it to sam like twice before sam is like, “you’re just being an asshole aren’t you. captain america is a fucking troll. do you know how much of middle america you’re disappointing right now, steve.” steve gives him a giant shit-eating grin before asking if he’s gonna tell the others and sam just says, “are you kidding this is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen; the other day tony almost threw his phone out a window.”
I always kinda fixate on how Sam’s gaze lingers condescendingly on Steve after he delivers this line, and it’s produced this headcanon where after the VA scene, Sam and Steve go out on a date and hit it off really well and go back to Sam’s place and bang, but Steve wakes up while Sam is still making breakfast and is like “I’m sorry to do this, but I have to go” and is apologetic and cringe-y and Sam kinda watches him dubiously with his spatula in hand but is like “alright, man, see you around.” Whether Steve left because he got cold feet or a mission kinda varies in my head. But it makes Sam’s “if u EAT breakfast u fuckin shit” face in this scene (and the startled but slightly reserved way he initially answers the door) funnier to me.
Like I have not been able to stop thinking about this????
It… also kinda explains Steve’s little “okay I deserved that” head bob?
can u imagine sam wilson growing up having to do the captain america challenge every goddamned year in PE and then all of a sudden he’s in his early 30s and he’s in an actual race with actual steve rogers?
u know his inner monologue was half “mmm tight tshirt” and half “twenty years later and this bitch is still making me run???????????????!!!!!”
Sam: come on Sam. You didn’t fail P.E. and you can’t fail now! You WILL outrun this asshole, even if he is fine as hell!
The newest Captain America Challenge video goes out on IG and YouTube, and it starts with Steve in a ridiculous star-adorned tight t-shirt but he doesn’t get more than five words in before the Rock and the Falcon interrupt him and tell him he’s not allowed to issue challenges because he’s *bleep*ing superhuman. And so now it’s the Falcon Challenge, and the Rock is like, “Let’s go to work,”
And Sam and Dwayne do, with Steve cheering in the background. Sam is still going when Dwayne falls on his back, gasping, and there’s Steve’s voice behind the camera asking, “You all right?” and Dwayne is all, “Falcon, y’all. There’s a reason HE’S the superhero, goddamn.”
just moving along like everyone else 