I started thinking about who looks up to who on the team the other day, and the more I thought about it, particularly the Dex:Ransom::Nursey:Holster dynamic, the more interesting I found the parallels.
Ok but what if for Halloween Dex wears a bad blond wig and glasses and Nursey wears a white snapback and salmon shorts
OK but the best thing about that is that Ransom and Holster CANNOT figure out who they are in costume as, and it just gets funnier as the night goes on because they keep guessing wrong.
Okay but then as they get more drunk they start hyperbolically acting out scenes from Ransom and Holsters life and they keep getting more and more touchy feely and ridiculous as the night goes on.
Dex: Bro…Share a beer with me bro…
Nursey: Bro…I’m going to fucking cherish that beer with you bro..
Dex: I just..I need you to know that this is such a special fucking moment for me man…
Nursey: Bro…
Holster: Bro…Are they like….a Meme…or something?
Ransom: I don’t know man…Hey share a beer with me bro?
Holster: Wait.
UM BUT WAIT
Lardo and Shitty go as Jack & Bitty. And this is Lardo and Shits we’re talking about so, it’s subversion galore. What does that mean? That mean Lardo is Jack and Shitty is Bits.
-Lardo goes all out with the contouring. I’m talking chiseled cheekbones, jawline. Blue contacts. Styles her hair like Jack, gets some Adidas track pants and a black t shirt.
-Shitty doesn’t shave his mustache, but he trims it so its not so bushy. He puts on a blonde wig and gets Lardo to style it. He gets a cute little button up, but that’s not the clincher. He puts on the TEENIEST little shorts, which just barely cover his ass and nads.
– Lardo wears a muscle suit and pads her butt with foam. She stands around frowning at everyone with her arms crossed. Jack sees her and says “I don’t do that.” AS HE’S STANDING THERE WITH HIS ARMS CROSSED, FROWNING.
-Shitty takes on a horrible southern accent and makes up incredibly bizarre exclamations (“mercy May heaven biscuits!”). He keeps draping himself suggestively over furniture, and Bitty keeps laughing so hard he cries.
-Lardo starts eating protein powder out of the tub with a spoon. Shitty starts peeling apples.
-its all fun and games until Shitty squats and his balls fall out of his shorts in front of everyone.
Holster: One of you gets the attic as dibs but I don’t know who to pick. So in order to get it, you have to come up with a better idea than chainsaw bullets.
Nursey: What about a gun that shoots mini sandwiches or something?
Tango: What about a gun that you can curve the bullets, so you can shoot around stuff?
Ransom: No, come on we need good ideas.
Whiskey: A gun that shoots another gun.
Holster: Ok getting bette–
Dex: A gun that shoots another gun that shoots chainsaw bullets.
Ok but what if Ransom doesn’t really want to be a doctor. His family and culture put a lot of pressure on their kids to be doctors and get prestigious jobs, and he wanted his parents to be proud of him so he went into pre-med.
What if he was having a post-game panic attack over molecular biology when a scout from the Maple Leafs asked him if he had a minute to talk. And the thought of just not going to med school, of just ending his education in two months and not having to study for a test ever again, made him feel so relieved he found Holster afterwards and cried for five minutes.
“I don’t ever want to stop playing hockey,” he says to Holster, who… honestly, was kind of looking forward to not having morning practice for the first time since he was four.
What if Justin Oluransi made his parents the loudest, proudest cheering section in Toronto, screaming with love for their son the NHL player.
Hey, guys! Reblogging , retweeting, and sharing the comic is the best way to help Check, Please! grow. Thanks so much to all the people who are doing this already. Seriously–awesome write ups, primers and screaming in your friend’s face* † about this person named Eric Bittle keep the comic going. Thank you!
just moving along like everyone else 