cornerof5thandvermouth:

kaijuno:

alwayswriting848:

kaijuno:

kaijuno:

So my new English professor is my uncle only he has no idea because he hasn’t talked to my mom in about 20 years so do you think is should tell him

You know what nevermind he’s a dick I’m going to talk to my mom to get dirt on him so I can blackmail him if the need arises

You should write a story about a boy for an assignment and include loads of life details about him that your mum tells you so that it’s obviously him but change all the names then hand it in and be really confused if he questions you about it

Oh my god

Power move