You guys, you must stop doing this. You must. We cannot keep yelling at you about it because it makes us so angry, and we are already angry all the time, about real things, like how our lives are turning into a real world Handmaid’s Tale, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haha ha ha ha ha ha. We cannot keep spending our energy being mad at mediocre men for writing mediocre books that inexplicably win awards and that people tell us to read, for some fucking godawful who knows reason.
So men. My guys. My dudes. My bros. My writers. I am begging you to help me here. When you have this man in your workshop, you must turn to him. You must take his clammy hands in yours. You must look deep into his eyes, his man eyes, with your man eyes, and you must say to him, “Peter, I am a man, and you are a man, so let us talk to each other like men. Peter, look at the way you have written about the only four women in this book.” And Peter will say, trying to free his hands, “What? These are sexy, dynamic, interesting women.” And you must grip his hands even tighter and you must say to him, “ARE THEY, PETER? Why are they interesting? What are their hobbies? What are their private habits? What are their strange dreams? What choices are they making, Peter? They are not making choices. They are not interesting. What they are is sexy, and you have those things confused, and not in the good way where someone’s interestingness makes them become sexy, like Steve Buscemi or Pauline Viardot. Why must women be sexy to be interesting to you? The women you don’t find sexy are where, Peter? They are invisible? They are all dead?” He is trying to escape! Tighten your grasp. “Peter, look at this. I mean, where to begin. ‘She could have been any age between eighteen and thirty-five?’ There are no other ages, I guess? Do you know what eighteen-year-olds really look like, in life? Do you know what thirty-SEVEN-year-olds look like, god forbid? And not that this is even the point, but why are these supposedly sexy and dynamic and interesting women BOTHERING with your boring garbage ‘on the skinny side of average’ protagonist? Why did you write it like this, Peter?”
And maybe Peter will say at last, “I don’t know.” Maybe he will be silent for a long long long time, and then maybe he will say, “I guess it’s scary and difficult for me to imagine the interiority of women because then i would have to know that my mother had an interiority of her own: private, petty, sexually unstimulating, strange: unrelated to me and undevoted to my needs. That sometimes I was nothing to my mother, just as sometimes she is nothing to me. That I was not at all times her immediate concern.”
“I know, Peter,” you can tell him gently.
“I don’t want to know that my mother was a human being with an internal life, because to know that would be to risk a frightening intimacy with her,” Peter will say, maybe. “Because to know that would be to know that she was only a small, complicated person, no bigger or smaller than I am, and I am so small. To know how alone she was. How alone I am. How alone we all are. That my mother survived with no resources more mysterious than my own. And yet she gave me life. My God: she gave me life. How can I pay her back for that? And how can I forgive her for it? How can I ever repay her for the good and the evil of it, my life, every day of my life?” He will be sobbing probably. “I am frightened of her. I am frightened of loneliness. I am frightened of dying. O God. My God. I didn’t know. I didn’t know.” Drool will run from his mouth as he cries. The way babies cry. He will be ashamed. You must hold him. You must say, “Shh, Peter. Shh.” Wrap your man arms around him. Hum into his thin hair as your own mother hummed once into your own sweet-smelling baby scalp. Kiss him gently on his mouth. There. You did it, men. You fixed sexism. Thank you. You’re the real hero here, as always, you men, and your special man powers, for making art.
put this in the smithsonian and then bury me with it
I have this thing called ‘I consider this person my friend but I don’t know if they consider me theirs’
there should be a word for the emotion you feel when someone who is your friend but you don’t know they consider you their friend says to someone else, in front of you, ‘yeah this is my friend’ and your heart gets really big and sparkly but you have to play it cool
Where’s the goofy teen comedy where the popular girl gives the shy girl a makeover she can Get The Guy™, only to realize that she’s actually falling in love with her and then they have the classic Arguing In The Rain scene because the popular girl is sad that the shy girl went on a date with The Guy so she angrily confesses her feelings and then they kiss and it’s all the feels?
have you ever wondered why anime people have such big eyes like this:
that’s because of scrooge mcduck
Osamu Tekuza. creator of Astro Boy and often called “The Godfather of Anime,” was a big fan of the Scrooge McDuck comics from back in the fifties and when he created Astro Boy, he based his art style on the Scrooge McDuck comics
so basically this character
who serves as the visual basis for the modern-day anime art style was inspired by this
which means that every time you get horny for this
or for these guys
you’re actually getting your jollies from the great grandkids of this motherfucker
No joke.
please don’t fuck the duck
Now I read all this with my both eyes and now it is your turn
it gets better
a lil while ago, tezuka’s daughter unlocked his work desk
what was inside?
a whack load of furry and transformation porn including one of a woman turning into a boob snake, locked away for SPECIAL OCCASION
when you are fapping to anime tiddies, you are fapping to the legacy of a furry artist
All anime tiddies descend from a literal furry’s admiration of a Charles Dickens duck-AU fanfiction character.
i never understood why everyone was so scandalized by the art locked in his desk cuz like
have you guys actually watched/read anything by tezuka