Bitty: You two have been studying for an awfully long time, you sure you don’t need a break?
Tango: I’ll be fine. One night last semester I stayed awake for five nights
Whiskey: ONE night?
Tango: And what a night.

coffee-at-annies:

checkthanks:

every sports team at samwell university has a collective crush on a different member of samwell men’s hockey and u cannot convince me otherwise

This got long enough that I felt bad keeping it in my tags because holy shit. Either way don’t expect coherency or cleanliness.

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Thoughts on Nursey’s Parents

rhysiana:

So a while ago in the stream chat, the “Nursey has two moms” headcanon came up, and N was like, “That’s wild. I mean, it’s always been that Nursey’s dad is white and his mom is black, but okay.” (That’s paraphrased.) And obviously his parents have never appeared or even really been mentioned in canon, so headcanon away with the 2-4 moms, etc., but I’ve been thinking about how the more canon-based version of his family could give us the character we see enter Samwell as a frog.

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checkbitts:

so, after being on synthetic ice for the first time today i would like to propose:

the falcs doing PR, and they’ve set up a synth rink to like… show off or something? do a few puck drills and net a few goals before talking to the camera, that sort of thing.

they were told in advance that it would be synth ice, because there was a womens game on their rink or something. all of them were told it was just like skating on real ice, they’d be fine, but they’d have some time before the media arrived to give it a go

but, media being media, there were people there early, from local papers and all of that. they were there to witness what is now known as “the unmentionable press day”

first on is jack, always ready to get on the ice, ready first in his skates and falcs jacket with his falcs shirt on underneath. jeans, because that’s how he is. he makes his running jump like he does on the rink, two steps towards teh ice, then launch, and. and.

he makes it to the centre mark. on his face.

marty next, manages two steps before he gets cocky and tries to build up speed. there’s a thud as he hits the synth ass-first. jacks rolled up to sitting, laughing (the photographers do in fact take many photos of this rare sight) at his fellow A.

then thirdy. much more cautious, he’s seen the other two. he steps on, takes a few steps forward, hand over the barrier – not touching, but ready. he takes another step, trips over a join between two of the panels. ends up hanging over the barrier, legs in a half split.

all three of them are laughing at this point, jack and marty are still on the ground

then comes tater, boundless enthusiasm, skating along almost with ease until he reaches the end, tries to turn. he lifts his foot for a crossover, and a yelp is heard back in the changing area as his remaining foot slides out, then the thud as he hits the ground.

the rest of the team are very cautiously sticking their heads out of the makeshift tunnel to see what the hell just happened. at least two are almost falling over because they’re laughing so hard.

jack manages to get to his feet, holding back laughter, the steely focus visible on his face. he stays up, wiggles his feet a little. manages to stay upright.

then snowy comes on. snowy launches himself onto the ice just like jack had, but somehow, somehow he stays upright. he makes it to the opposite wall, turns to look at everyone, shrugs a little at their questioning expressions.

everyone else wobbles their way on with varying levels of success.

the cameras of each and every photographer is checked by george herself, and all photos and videos from the warm up deleted, but at least one video makes it to twitter.

a tweeted picture of jack, shaky-legged and looking absolutely terrified, becomes the smh group chat icon for at least two months.

kentparson:

unpopular opinion but the aces and falconers aren’t rivals, we just see them as having tension because our view of them is centered around the parse/jack interaction in the comic. there’s also the “typical fucking aces hockey” comment but individual players naturally have opinions about every team and teams also have reputations based on their playing style.

rivalries are almost always geographically-based or at least intra-divisional and las vegas and providence have zero connection that would make this a plausible rivalry

Haus Couch Composition

measurelessgarden:

gutsybitsies:

christa613:

omgcheckplease:

35% dead skin cells
15% bodily fluids (butt sweat)
12% PBR
10% upholstered wood
10% “cushioning”
7% pizza grease
3% pie debris
3% an xbox controller that’s just like, in there
2% black mold
2%

bottlecaps
.5% organic vantablack

.5% a new breed of spider

After hearing Ransom describe “a weird crawly thing” he saw in the couch, word spreads through the Biology department and soon a grad student specializing in Arachnology shows up at the Haus and wants to have the couch declared a protected field work site.

Bitty: “Y’all mean to tell me, that THING…” *waves spatula from kitchen door in the direction of the couch* “…could contribute to the advancement of science?!?!?”

Bitty vs the arachnology students

idk. As soon as Bitty realizes that’s a way to get RID of the couch, I think they’d band together: I donated it to science, how can anyone complain about that? ¯_(ツ)_/¯

oluranurse:

abominableobriens:

oluranurse:

abominableobriens:

oluranurse:

listen y’all, I know we like to write Bitty as a “mom”, (I’ve been guilty of that too and its okay, like it’s totally fine) but. Bitty is twenty two and he is a frat boy who has grown up around athletes, he’s gross and lazy and I would like to present you with some examples. okay, hear me out:

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*cracks knuckles as I lived in a frat house for three years* 

also tagging @yoursummerfrost because this is her jam 

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@abominableobriens honey listen, i could do this all day, and you bring up some good points that I would like to expand on

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Can I write an essay about Eric 

“C’s get Degrees” Bittle? 

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I really should stop doing this at this point but i meant it when I said I could do this all day and I Have More:

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Let Jack Eat Pie

halffizzbin:

itsacpsideblog:

stultiloquentia:

Professional hockey players eat 5000-6000 calories per day. 

Carbs for energy. So many carbs. Protein for muscle-repair. 12 oz. steaks for breakfast. Six meals a day. Eating even when you’re not hungry, because you must.

Probably not candy or greasy fast food, but fat is fine. Fat is great. Fat is calories. Fat-free yogurt and delicate egg white omelets have no place in this diet.

Remember your vegetables. Brain food.

Simple carbs after every game. Pie is ideal.

There is no such thing as cheat day.

Sources: Ice Hockey Nutrition and Training — How Players Meet Their Goals in the Pros; Diet, training regimen have Subban in peak condition

~*~

Bitty comes home from the farmers’ market flushed with success. “I bought a cow,” he announces. Jack peers over the back of the couch, struck, momentarily, with a vision of Bitty coaxing a Jersey cow on a rope through the kitchen door. Perhaps it could live in the guest room?

“That’s, uh,” says Jack. “That’s good?”

“She’s currently an adorable moppet’s 4H project, but she’ll be butchered in June, and delivered in boxes, so I have to go shopping for a chest freezer next weekend. Summer project: I’m going to learn how to make sausage! And you, Mister Calder Memorial—” Bitty points both index fingers at Jack and beams like a maniac, “are going to eat even more protein!”

…bitty, who shows love by feeding people southern home cooking….and jack, who has to eat 5000+ calories a day…the ultimate power couple honestly

Honestly my favorite part of this post tho is the idea that Jack was totally prepared to accept that a live cow was going to be living in his guest room.