That’s the most dangerous part of having a warm, smol, enabling boyfriend in the offseason: Jack will sleep until noon if he gets half a chance.
#oh man goood point#what if#from a combination of fourth year uni and netflix binges#most of the time when he did 4am checking practices with bitty#he hadn’t slept yet#like he just finished a chapter in his thesis#or a documentary#and he’s like whoops#there’s the sun#well#might as well do something#before my 8am class#so he goes and bugs bitty (@chocolatechipcookiesplease) you are correct
i really love the idea that when cool, calm, collected whiskey joins the group nursery is like hell yeah this is my boy. we will Chill™. but also he can help me piss off dex because dex is cute when he’s mad and his face goes all red because dex is the worst and needs to learn how to Chill. but then when nursery tries to find whiskey he finds him with. dex. and they’re both just. Chilling™. they’re sitting outside under a tree doing homework together and talking softly and sharing laughs and nursery finally loses his (carefully constructed) chill
“Hi, Kent? It’s Shane. Laval-Shane. Look, I just… heard what you said last week and I wanted to say thanks. You were so cool about it. I never even felt like it was an issue.”
“Oh, right! D-man Shane. Been a while. Cool. Uh… what?”
“Just, you were so good about me being gay.”
“You’re gay? I mean, cool! Cool cool. Good to hear. Look, Shane, I gotta be honest, I had no idea. I meant me. I was fucking my liney the whole time we played.”
“You… what? You were fucking Marc?! …Did Zimms know?”
AU where Tango is a 13 year old who wished to just “skip over the gross bits of puberty and wake me up when I’m in college please” and actually got that to come true. Like 13 going on 30, but less dramatic.
This means he wakes up and it is August 1st 2015. He’s going away to school in a week or so. To play hockey. To Tango, it was the day after picture day in 7th grade. (September 2010???) Imagine all the things that have changed since then.
So he’s not dumb when he asks all the questions, he’s just trying to catch up really really really fast.
OH MY GOD I LOVE IT
But does he want to switch back to his seventh grade life?? Will he feel left out when everyone else is talking about their weird high school teachers? What about calc/stats/finite/whatever math class that’s way beyond prealgebra? Does he miss his middle school friends? How excited is he to have a smartphone instead of a flip phone?
^^ easy there, tango 2.0
there’s a reason he was my icon before I made this one
All in all Tango is pretty chill with it. As chill as he can be. He learned from various sources that he hasn’t spoken to 90% of his friends since he started high school. And those that didn’t are going to other colleges.
Tango has always been smart with math, he’d been pretty ahead of the game and got all the way to stats in 7th grade. The rest was easy to catch up with enough tutors. (Seriously, he’s a student athlete, there will be a fuckton of resources to help him succeed in whatever class he needs)
When people brought up weird high school teachers, he’d just bring up weird middle school teachers and say they were his high school teacher.
As for smartphones, he’d seen enough of them. It was 2010, the iphone was already on it’s 3GS. He hadn’t had a phone of his own, but he knew that they were on the up and up.
Things that DID surprise Tango was during their third game, one of the opposing hockey members came up to him and got all buddy buddy with him. It turns out they were good friends all throughout High School, but were scouted to different teams. “Samwell must have you working pretty hard if you didn’t have time to shoot me a text” “Yeah. Well…you know how it is” It is weird to drift away from people that you never knew.
It was harder to adjust to seeing his then 7 year old little brother be the same age that Tango was supposed to be. It seemed like just a couple of months ago Tango was the one worrying about zits and romance and locker combinations. He always thought that by this point in life, he’d be able to help his brother out. Nope. Now they’re both just kinda lost and doing their own thing.
But a great thing was that it was really easy to bond with Whiskey. He was able to put up with all the questions, and the plethora of movies he had to catch up with, and pop culture references. (”Whiskey if I send an Old Spice meme in the group chat, will they get it?” “More than the sad keanu you sent last week”)
And he doesn’t seem to make a big deal of it when he makes mistakes. Once Whiskey asked him how old he’ll be on his next birthday and he said “14″ without missing a beat. Instead of any chirps, he just said “You mean 19 right?”
“Yeah”
If he had to tell anyone about what happened, he’d tell Whiskey. But he doesn’t.
Ok but what if for Halloween Dex wears a bad blond wig and glasses and Nursey wears a white snapback and salmon shorts
OK but the best thing about that is that Ransom and Holster CANNOT figure out who they are in costume as, and it just gets funnier as the night goes on because they keep guessing wrong.
Okay but then as they get more drunk they start hyperbolically acting out scenes from Ransom and Holsters life and they keep getting more and more touchy feely and ridiculous as the night goes on.
Dex: Bro…Share a beer with me bro…
Nursey: Bro…I’m going to fucking cherish that beer with you bro..
Dex: I just..I need you to know that this is such a special fucking moment for me man…
Nursey: Bro…
Holster: Bro…Are they like….a Meme…or something?
Ransom: I don’t know man…Hey share a beer with me bro?
I like to think Jack learns some hockey things from Bitty, not just the other way around.
For instance, fighting:
So Jack’s big and strong and plays hockey and you’d expect him to be the type of guy to come off the ice with a bleeding face and bruised knuckles. And maybe he would have been, but for Bitty
Instead when the big angry opposition player starts going after Bad Bob’s “special snowflake” son he channels one of his boyfriend’s talents and just ducks
And the player’s like ??? and tries again but Jack is fast and apparently gifted at dodging punches and the guy’s getting more and more frustrated bc he really wants to punch Jack but it’s just. not. working.
The Falconers have stopped fighting due to being doubled over with laughter and the other team is too busy being confused because ?? he’s dodging??? that’s not how hockey works????
In the end the guy gives up because every time he throws a punch Jack takes to just skating backwards slightly so he’s out of reach again. It makes all the sports highlights for a fortnight. People set it to music
just moving along like everyone else 