Tag: omgcp

Bitty Adopts Tater Like He Did Chowder

hopenight:

Stay with me here.

Aside from them having food names, Chowder and Tater are like adorable rays of sunshine who will fuck you up on the rink. Both of them really like Jack. More importantly, both are a long way from home.

Of course, Bitty would mother the fuck out of Tater. What the hell kind of question was that? He and Jack are the least subtle boyfriends ever in the history of secret relationships.

So say Jack talks about how Tater seems a bit down and maybe he’s feeling homesick? Bitty doesn’t even think twice about it. Because that sweet Russian ray of sunshine. He researches Russian dishes that could survive the trip to Providence and he sends Jack a care package for Tater (along with things for Jack himself).

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jackzimmermannn:

Okay but.

We talk about how unsubtle Bittle is.

Imagine Tater with any sort of SO. 

This large, friendly, Russian hockey player would literally never shut-up about whoever he was dating. Pictures everywhere. Endless anecdotes. Constant smiling.

 “You have good weekend? Girlfriend and I go to movie. I buy her biggest popcorn, extra butter.” 

“Girlfriend be jelly and I be peanut butter for Halloween. Like sandwich!! So funny, her idea. She make me laugh.”

“Jack have girl who is great cook. Don’t tell girlfriend, she get jealous.” 

Oooooooh and now I’m having thoughts about Tater with a hispanic girlfriend, trying his damndest to learn Spanish.

Tater on the plane to a game, jammed into a seat with giant headphones, loudly reciting Spanish phrases. 

“HOLA ZIMMBONI. YOU BUENO, YES????” 

PLEASE talk about the kind of shit Bitty and Tater would get up to without Jack or someone more level-headed there to restrain them.

gutsybitsies:

lisTEN Tater and Bitty have like, not a single impulse control between the two. Oftentimes people get fooled by Bitty’s politeness, need for a clean kitchen, and preference for people not to spit on the ground (LOOKING AT YOU, NURSEY, YOU GROSS COLLEGE BOY) and think, this is a reasonable and level headed young man! they are wrong. 

Tater: B! What if I get huge soda bottles, big ones, and shake them. 

Bitty: D: that makes it go flat though, do you not like the fizz?

Tater: *shakes his head* No, no. I strap them onto me and shake them and then BOOM! I fly. 

Bitty: Hmm, I don’t think so…

Tater: :((((((

Bitty: You’re too gosh darn heavy! Strap it on me! 

Tater: :DDDDDDDD

Tater: B! B! Guess what!

Bitty: I don’t know, why don’t you tell me?

Tater: *shows a picture* new motorcycle! I see it, I like it, now it’s mine!

Bitty: *fans himself really hard because he LOVES those bikes* oh dear

Tater: You one of my best friend. First person I ask to ride with me. 

Bitty: Mister Tater! I am delighted and honored! 

And then they proceed to ride the motorcycle WITHOUT A HELMET until they get pulled over by a cop, and tater’s telling the story to the team later and jack hyperventilates because HIS BOYFRIEND WAS ON A MOTORCYCLE WITHOUT A HELMET.

One day jack walks into the kitchen to find Tater with tears streaming down his very red face as Bitty feeds him pieces of what looks like mini pie and asking “how about this? is this spicy enough?” 

“I’m feel dying and my soul return to heaven. Not enough. Do more.” 

Tater: What I’m be for Halloween? Has to be sexy. 

Bitty: Haha what about a stripper

They look at each other and an electrical moment passes between them

Tater: I’m go shave my legs now!!! 

Bitty: Yes you do that and I’m going online right NOW to find the perfect costume!!! 

Tater: WHY THIS RAZOR SO SHARP??

Bitty: here let me shave you! 

And then when Tater’s practicing his routine, he routinely asks Bitty whether it’s sexy enough. He’s not doing it very close to Bitty (bc Bitty’s personal space expands when there’s stripping involved by ppl other than jack)

Tater: Weird to ask Jack, you know. He my teammate.

Bitty: I completely understand, and oh dear this is making me blush! *giggles* 

Tater: *performs another body roll*

Bitty: *giggles* 

That one time Bitty went to the hospital because Tater thought it would be a funny prank to empty out a windex bottle and pour blue gatorade in it so Bitty can shock everyone, but someone accidentally switched the bottle so Bitty drank a mouthful of actual windex. 

I feel like Tater’s like the one person who finally convinced Bitty to try weed? Like in the sense that Tater’s never tried it because the fear of his parents is strong, and Bitty’s only had contact high before and never bothered with actually trying it himself. And Tater is curious bc it seems like a lot of the college athletes are high and he wants to try! And Bitty because oh well, if you want to try it I’ll do it too! 

They chose a time during the off season, so that Tater won’t get in trouble. And Bitty makes the most delicious weed brownies in existence. And then Tater promptly forgets that they’re weed brownies and eat wayyyy too much and Bitty’s too high to deal with him and Jack comes home to two grown men giggling over his couch. (Tater’s okay, bitty made sure not to bake too much.) 

That one time Tater wrenched his shoulder dabbing with Bitty on the ice. 

When Bitty was super drunk and Tater handed him a banana and Bitty deepthroated it in front of everyone and then promptly choked and almost died. 

That time they were lighting fireworks with their bare hands and didn’t get injured at ALL. 

Georgia had to give a little talk to Jack about how tater and bitty should never be left alone, and maybe Jack can thirdwheel some of their hangouts a little bit more?

Jack: I’m the one dating Bitty, you know. 

Georgia: He’s an amazing person, but I also need his friendship with Tater to change into something less life threatening. 

headspacedeficit:

coffeeatannies:

peanutbittle:

peanutbittle:

The cutest thing about Bitty bringing a blazer for poor hopelessly informally dressed Chowder isn’t necessarily that he did it, but that in all likelihood he bought a blazer in Chowder’s exact size for that express purpose

Also do you think Nursey would take Chowder and Dex on increasingly fancy dates bc he and Dex are amazed at how casually underdressed Chowder always is and they wanna see how far they can take it before getting turned away at the door

#polyfrogs #Dex would probably grumble at the fact that Nursey pays for it all #Nursey would wave him off like ‘Shut up Poindexter it’s a date I’m SUPPOSED to buy you things’ #but Dex doesn’t budge until Nursey adds ‘And anyways it’s for science’#and from then on that’s their phrase that’s how they get each other to do dumb stuff all the time #‘FOR SCIENCE’ 

Chowder probably doesn’t see anything wrong with what he’s doing. Not because he’s a kid but because he’s Californian. Dress codes on the West Coast are usually pretty lax. While people do dress up for places and evenings out, it’s usually not as strict as fancier places out East.

Plus Chowder is from the Bay Area, the cities who could practically write “No collective fucks were given. I will wear my turtleneck in June to this place and you won’t do a thing. Because you do not give a fuck either.” Is Chowder pushing even that standard a little? Sure. Is he doing to troll his friends? Maybe a little.

Nursey: Holster wants one of us to pick Whiskey up from the LAX house
Chowder: I’ll go!
Nursey: It’s too dangerous there, I’ll go
Dex: I can go
Chowder: Alright! Let’s all go together, holding hands tightly

betweenthepies:

How happy am I that Tater is the centre of this spread? Really happy.

How happy am I that Jack is on this massive poster in his rookie year? Very.

How happy am I that SNOWY is in this poster and killing everyone with the death stare? Ecstatic. So damn happy.

I AM SO DAMN HAPPY.

tdkeh:

tronnies-art-blog:

I’m a bit obsessed with these tweets right now. In my headcannon Holster takes it much harder than he lets on, maybe even only Bitty realizes how hard it is for him, because he’s kind of been there before. Ugh, someone write a fic! Maybe I will…

Someone referenced this series of tweets once and focussed on ‘haha holster is bad at folding laundry’ and completely missed the point that Holster is so upset because Rans is hooking up with someone in their room.
I was a believer of Ransom + Holster = adorable bromance UNTIL I read Bitty’s twitter… There’s actually quite a bit to suggest that at least Holster has some more than bromantic feelings for his fellow dman.
Awesome illustration of the scene 🙂