Tag: okay

Not sure if this is useful to anyone, but I had a big breakthroughs in my idea of self-care recently when I applied a phrase I use to combat negative self-talk – “Would you talk to a close friend that way?” – and reframed it as: “Would you care for a friend that way?”

Imagine my friend came to visit and she got hungry. Would I say, “Wait five hours until I’m done with this project and then you can eat a granola bar?” No, I would not. Would I say, “I’m don’t have time to go grocery shopping for you, so why don’t you spend three days straight eating this years-old Ramen I found in the basement that one of my old roommates left behind?” No, I would not. If her clothes got dirty, would I say, “I’m too lazy to scrounge up some quarters so why don’t you wear these ill-fitting clothes from Goodwill with holes in them?” No, I would not. If she had a day off, would I say, “I can’t be bothered to find something good for you to do; why don’t you just sit on the couch reading depressing internet articles all day?” No I would not. And if I were at a party, and she was tired and feeling uncomfortable and wanted to go home, would I say, “Stop being such an awkward loser, stay here and smile at people so they don’t think you’re rude?” No, I would not. A person I treated that way would be justified in wondering if she was my friend at all.

But, needless to say, I treat myself that way all the time. Once my friend has all her basic needs taken care of, sure, we can go for manicures and massages after. But that’s not the point. The point is making sure she’s fed and washed and clothed and comfortable; and I don’t think I’m the only one who has a whole lot of trouble even getting to that point.

pretentious illiterate (that’s their username, not an insult) on Metafilter (via gazztron)

simonalkenmayer:

These windows you create onto yourself, they never show all of you. There is mystery here. You have freedom to move. The window doesn’t define you. And it certainly shouldn’t offend you when people comment on what you’ve shown them. They are remarking upon one instant, their temporary moment touching yours. Any reflection you see is translucent and tiny. The window isn’t you. You are the whole person behind it.

So don’t let this wall of glass frighten you.

What I Wish Healthy People Knew About Being Undiagnosed

grace-and-ace:

twelvesclockworksquirrel:

OK, see, here’s the thing. Most people with chronic illness wait years to get a proper diagnosis. They know what we undiagnosed peeps are going through. They can empathize with the worry, the frustration, the impatience, the hope and hopelessness roller coaster. They get it.

But I don’t think a lot of healthy people quite understand. 

Just because my illness hasn’t been named yet, it doesn’t mean I’m healthy.

Not knowing WHY I have symptoms doesn’t make the symptoms go away. It doesn’t mean I’m not dealing with a lot of shit. 

And I’m dealing with this shit not sure where to turn for support (not a lot of support groups for “I dunno, but shit’s going sideways”). I’m dealing with this with no treatment options. The best I can do is try to manage my symptoms with everyday, at-home methods (that may or may not make any bit of difference). 

I’m dealing with an unpredictable and often debilitating mystery illness. I’m going to doctor appointment after doctor appointment and test after test and having to explain my medical history over and over again which drains what little energy I had left. 

So…

If someone you know says they’re sick, and they’ve been sick for months or years…for the sake of all that is good and beautiful in this world, just believe them.

If someone you know is sick and they don’t know what they have, just trust them that while they may not know the name of their illness, they most certainly do know how it affects them and what they can and can’t handle doing (even if that changes from day to day).

If someone you know is struggling with a chronic mystery illness and you want to be a good, supportive friend just be T.H.E.R.E. for them.

T– trust them when they say they’re sick

H– help if they want your help (but don’t always wait to be asked for help, offer specific tasks you can do like unload the dishwasher, or take their dog for a walk)

E– expect nothing (if they want to talk about their health, listen, but nobody owes you their private medical history)

R– respect their limits (if they say they can or can’t do something, believe them)

E– endure (no matter how many times plans get cancelled last minute, not matter how long diagnosis takes, no matter how frustrating you are by their limits, I promise it’s even more frustrating for them so be patient)

Also, pro tip: DON’T TELL THEM WHAT YOU THINK THEY HAVE AND HOW TO FIX IT WITH YOGA/GREEN SMOOTHIES/REIKI/WHATEVER.

not my typical topic but this is Exactly what i’m going thru and its too relatable not to share

jumpingjacktrash:

normal-horoscopes:

feverdreamsuggestion:

cynic-suggestions:

spitesuggestion:

audiblesuggestions:

growling-suggestion:

arsonsuggestions:

scatteredsuggestion:

rook-suggestions:

trailertrashsuggestions:

deadman-suggestions:

hell is your room in the dead of night and forgotten lyrics to songs that once felt like our entire soul

hell is wandering the trailer park at one in the morning with a cold can of ginger ale in your hand and no shoes on, staring into the trees and getting this strange notion that something is dragging you in. 

Hell is sitting on the fire escape stairs and filling your body with poison while remembering how many friends you’ve pushed away.

Hell is looking into the eyes of those you care about and realizing they’ve always been that cold.

hell is knuckle deep in the ashes of the city you burned burned burned to the ground as you try to find the remnants of what once was before the fire came

hell is crying my eyes out underneath the stars, screaming out questions that will never be heard or answered, feeling this sinking feeling that the rest of your life will not get any better

hell is realizing that this place is a truly dog-eat-dog world, with even ones you thought as friends disappearing faster than you can kill them

hell is walking through the doors of the home you thought you’d burned down, wearing a smile and looking at all the masks that greet you

Hell is the first time you question if when he says “I love you,” he really means it, and the doubt that creeps over your mind as you ask yourself again and again.

hell is a constancy of sickness with just enough coherency to remember how it all fell apart over and over and over

HELL IS THE PERFECT ENVIRONMENT FOR GROWING POMEGRANATES AND I WILL STEAL AS MANY AS MY SPINDLY SKELETON ARMS AS I CAN CARRY

hell is a four hour stopover in the detroit airport: don’t give up even if you miss your connecting flight, you can get to heaven, take a bus, hitchhike, walk if you have to, heaven is like iceland but you can get there by crawling if you want it bad enough

“Aries:
The heat inside you is within your head, a brain like a wildfire and a touch to match. Don’t let your thoughts burn you alive, don’t let people tell you you’re too lively. After all, fire is alive. Unleash it, don’t cage it; it will destroy you.
And I know you own a touch of self destruction, but your fire is not to be dimmed. Don’t let the fire run over your skin and burn you alive, burns will fade but scars will stay. You’re lovable.

Taurus:
The earthy complexion of you is in your throat, your words are calm and your voice makes others find solace within. You easily lull others to sleep, a voice for the screens. Words may tumble of your lips so effortlessly, and earth is oh so rational but look out; earthquakes don’t come with a time ticket.

Gemini:
The air gushes within your arms. Light feather swift movements, an arm around a friends shoulders. You may balance your plates so well, but watch out for obstacles, you don’t want to drop it all. A hug from you may feel like a breeze, you bring solace with a shoulder brush.

Cancer:
Water runs through your hands, a pencil that you know a bit too well. Pen on paper for another soul wrenching piece, maybe your fingers stray the strings of a guitar. You are the rivers, but also the sea; you’re unpredictable and that’s what makes you so dangerously beautiful.

Leo:
Your fire lies in your heart, conflagration. You burn and sow through forests of minds, don’t let anyone eliminate your spark. You’re a leader with twinkling eyes and vodka felt veins. A complexion of ancient treasure, don’t be so hard on yourself. You feel so much, don’t let the fire take you over, but don’t let anyone make it die.

Virgo:
You have earth in your stomach, hands that make dishes to fall in love with. You love food, your gut always tells you what you have to do. Listen, if your gut tells you that something is wrong than please, listen.

Libra:
Air runs through your kidneys, salt and something to let go of. A harmonious cycle with other organs. You create harmony, you let things go. Don’t drink too much water, don’t let people influence you in what to do, salty tears will spill too much. Don’t make yourself stop crying, you will ache too much; let it go.

Scorpio:
Water churns through the pelvis, a heated lover. A compassionate person, someone who needs affection and is intrigued with the dark underlaying nature of humans and human existence. Know you are never to be replaced, for it’s you who will kiss the eyelids of your lover. You trace outlines of constellations on freckles, and it may be imperfect but find someone who looks at you in a way that makes you think perfection isn’t needed, someone who looks at you like are enough. You are enough.

Sagittarius:
Air swirls through your thighs, you have a wandering spirit with a mind that investigates every nook and cranny within your own world map. Your thighs are made to run, so travel, fall in love, and be heartbroken. Experience life, you’re worth the adventure. See it as a mission, and see yourself as goal. Find yourself, it’ll be your biggest travel of all.

Capricorn:
Earthquakes churning through legs made to walk and hike mountains, you may not love sports but you are made to climb. Climb the obstacles and mountains of your life, you have to overcome it. Work hard. You’re enough.

Aquarius:
Air swirls inside your ankles, your made to stand up. Stand up for yourself, for crowds, for others. Stand in front of people, tell your ideas. Stand up. You have a voice, don’t let it falter.

Pisces:
Your feet run on waters, a waterfront of imagination. Don’t run away from your problems love, yes your feet will carry you but you are not God. You need others, you can’t run forever, don’t get lost in your dreams to escape reality. Make reality so good you don’t want to sleep anymore. Live.

Elements in the zodiac (via sodiumforsaltytimes)