ask yourself: do i live near a truck route, railway, subway, or earthquake zone? if so, you can bust the ‘ghost’ by regularly checking loose items and nudging them back into place, tightening bulbs, and using doorstops. problem solved!
but why would you want to piss off the ghost of a truck, it’d be so much stronger and louder than regular ghosts?? im not risking it
if you are haunted by cargo transport vehicles of any kind, you can appease them by putting out a dish of 10w-30 on the doorstep
as someone who has experience in these things, whipping your dick out and jacking it is literally the best way to be rid of a ghost. they feed on fear and negative energy. Continually engage in power moves, angrily, at their expense and they will shrivel and die. Walk up to the ghost truck and stick your dick in its ghost grille and say “yeah lemme get some of that cold cold Ghussy” (the ghost truck will know this to mean ghost pussy) and so you have banished the spirit by making it realize that it holds NO power over you and never will.
Also get a carbon monoxide detector. Both because your ghost shit may actually be a carbon monoxide leak AND in case the ghost truck or train attempts to leave its ghost engine running in the house to kill you.
but what if the ghost truck is like
into it
i think we can all agree that fucking a ghost truck is the ultimate power move and you ascend to a higher plane of sexistance immediately, rendering you invulnerable to all ghost, truck, and atmospheric damage
He stopped in front of the mirror and sighed. His penis was just a little too large to be fashionable, and his balls were just a little lopsided. Most days it didn’t bother him, but today he pushed at his genitals, trying to make them look more normal, like the men in magazines. It was hopeless. He dropped his junk in resigned frustration. There were worse things than having too large of a penis, he thought.
instead of thinking about it in terms of predator and prey, I think it’s easier to view it as a preference for devouring, versus being devoured. just because you want to devour someone in one situation doesn’t mean you can’t yearn to be devoured in another, right?
but let’s consider the ouroboros for a moment – the snake devouring its own tail. in that kind of situation, the snake has become its own prey. it is being devoured to the precise degree that it devours. you could say that it has achieved vore equilibrium – the point at which the desire to destroy is equal to the desire to be destroyed.
and why do people generally find vore appealing? for those who want to be devoured, it’s the fantasy of returning to the womb, melting away into physical unity with the devourer, dying as an individual and becoming food for something greater, yielding totally to authority. for those who want to devour, however, what is the appeal? desire for the beloved so strong it could kill them. the fantasy of total dominance. the desire to possess totally. demanding that the lives of others be subordinate to your own. the thrill of hunting and overwhelming something weaker. the fantasy of being the ultimate apex predator. sadism that is willing to kill.
but it isn’t always clear-cut like that. there’s vore in which the party being consumed is dominant – for example, a goo creature oozing down the throat of something and using its body as a vehicle/controlling it from within. there’s also vore in which the devourer is submissive. the line between “eating and being eaten” almost vanishes altogether in the niche branches of vore (anal vore, unbirthing, etc). instead of devouring or being devoured, it’s about the desire to be full and the desire to fill.
but what about the population that identifies with both?
what if the predator and the prey have no boundary between them? what if the devourer and the devoured are simply competing sides of the same organism? we started out discussing the predator as the Other/object of desire, and then we spoke of the prey as the other/object; but what if both are the Self, struggling against itself – two halves of the same inseparable nature?
which brings us back to the notion of the ouroboros.
tier 5 (ridiculous, unacceptable, pls don’t): anything to do with beer cans, baby-maker, bishop, choad, donger, dragon, fuck wand, fun stick, hog, johnson, jimmy, lap rocket, little [insert name], love muscle/rod/stick, meat stick, one-eyed [anything], piston, private eye, schlong, trouser snake, wiener, winkie
tier 6 (you’re literally a fourth grader): baby arm, baloney pony, beaver basher, beef whistle, custard launcher, dude piston, flesh flute, heat-seeking moisture missile, krull the warrior king, luigi, mayo shooting hotdog gun, meter long king kong dong, pig skin bus, piss weasle, purple-headed yogurt flinger, purple-helmeted warrior of love, schlong dongadoodle, single barreled pump action bollock, spawn hammer, steamin’ semen truck, tan banana, thundersword, wang doodle, whoopie stick, wing wang doodle, yogurt shotgun
tier 7 (you are like a little baby. watch this): the symbolic collage, the multiplier of motions known, a pillar of fighting styles terrible to behold, the ability to infer significance in something devoid of detail, cornered sphere, a letter written in uncertainty, flesh-metal, a bubble of foul water and fire, invisible scripture, the sex-death of language, power throat, the heart bone, the mercy seat, the irrefutable-for-a-span, the enigma that must be removed, the new phlogiston, a throne of wonder why, the idiom stroke, non-spatial space filling to capacity with mortal interaction and information, a bit of string shaped like your favorite color, the sword not held, estrangement from statesmanship, the reptile wheel, the treasure wood sword, a million-eyed insect dreaming, the dome-head demon, a dead carapace of memory, the mythic epidermal, the ethos knife, flute-and-pipe ogre, the red jewel of conquest, a walking star
You basically made me read the cuil theory of penis metaphors so I’m posting cuil theory
What if the horrible answer is I don’t think elves have casual sex and I’m fine with them all being insectile monogamists? …………. nooooo uhhhhhh hhhhhh I… still pretty much stand by “all sex is casual if it’s not telepathic” …. I guess I should pick a specific elf to talk about, it’s just, my answers for that are horrible too. I suspect Nerdanel and Fëanor managed to have a LOT of premarital sex through innovative, like, psychic blindfolds, and also that Nerdanel wanted to keep doing kinky willpower-based contraception while Fëanor was begging her for kids. It’s like orgasm denial but instead Fëanor is sitting there TRYING to push half a soul out and Nerdanel is jamming it back up the spout
Like on the one hand I want to make a “and you say the future never comes” joke but this is like, fuckin, eldritch, I am sobbing from seeing this and thinking about the people who are trying to nut in this pulsating robot. Everything about this horrifies and disgusts me
just moving along like everyone else 