THIS IS THE SHIT I’M TALKING ABOUT??? WHY AM I BEING TAUGHT CONVOLUTED, UNCOMFORTABLY NSFW FIC WORLDBUILDING IN A CLASS
I wonder if drones would be unparasitized trolls, then. Un-altered. SOME probably squeak through, resistant, from the Mother Grub’s overtaxed, infected reproductive equipment, ready to serve the Hive. Meanwhile the Mother Grub would be endlessly producing, under parasitic influence, weaker or “worker” susceptible grubs, as vessels for the parasites. Visible troll “genetic lineages,” such as they are, would be parasite-based on an unchanging “troll” template–the carried parasites are selected for and against as normal while out and about in their ornery host, and then loop back in again thru the slurry fed to the Mother Grub to combine out and express new variations and traits (psionics, sun resistance, blood color, body conformation, temperament). Maybe that’s why, like some fungi, it’s important for two trolls to combine their slurries before transport–an obligate 2N intermediate stage for the parasites.
ANYWAY I also like this because it makes troll slurry really, really, really gross. I guess human spooge is already kind of gross since there’s living wiggling cells with flailing tails in it but our sperm are pretty tame compared to “MULTICELLULAR PARASITIC ORGANISMS MIND-CONTROLLING YR TROLL BF/GF TO BE STARFARING AND SOCIAL, ALSO THEY HAVE MINISCULE YET UNSETTLINGLY STABBY GENETIC-MATERIAL-INJECTION APPENDAGES AND IN ALL LIKELIHOOD GO FOR YOUR PORES.”
YES. And this can get even squickier combined with the troll-bulge headcanon?
THE PARASITIC IMPERATIVE ALSO EXPLAINS WHY THEIR EJACULATE IS SO COPIOUS ssssssince all the infectious organisms/parasites I know about so far basically go hard on the R-strategy
I feel like all of this is going to get even more horrifying somehow when you consider their reliance on biotech.
And how does this interact with the rainbow drinker fungal headcanon?
Trolls being extremely sought-after hosts by a bewildering variety of Alternian parasites!!! (Ties into Alternia just being really frigging dangerous for Trolls in general!)
OH GOSH! And another thing about this that just occurred to me: this headcanon can easily makes human-troll hybrid babies possible, though again; kinda squickily 😐 I’m not really a fan of human-troll hybrid headcanon’s personally, but it’s occurred to me now and I just can’t not share the possibilities u_u
This is a hot take that could possibly lead to chaos in the already fragile monster fucking community
If I look at a mouth and instinctually know how to kiss it with my human mouth, it is not a monster, it is a variation on a person, probably with larger than average teeth. It isn’t a monster until I have to strategize
i will never be over the fact that during first contact a human offered their hand to a vulcan and the vulcan was just like “wow humans are fucking wild” and took it
Humanity’s first contact with Vulcans was some guy going “I’m down to fuck.”
Vulcans’ first contact with Humans was an emphatic “Sure.”
“sir…these…these humans…they greet each other by…” *glances around before furtively whispering* “by clasping hands…”
*prolonged silence* “oh my…”
“sir…sir how will we make first contact with them? surely we…we cannot refuse this handclasping ritual, they will take it as an insult, but what vulcan would agree to such a distasteful and uncomfortable ritual??”
*several pensive moments later* “contact the vulcan high command and tell them to send us kuvak. i once saw that crazy son of a bitch arm wrestle a klingon, he’ll put his hands on anything”
Elsewhere, w/ kuvak: “….my day has come.”
The vulcan who made first contact with humans is named Solkar guys. Y’all just be makin’ up names for characters that already have names.
Bonus: here’s a screencap of Solkar doing the “my body is ready” pose right before he shakes Zefram Cochrane’s hand:
I swear Vulcans only come in two types and they are “distant xenophobes” or “horny on main for humanity”. Also apparently this guy is Spock’s great-grandfather and frankly that explains everything.
Hey so I looked into this at one point and that handshake literally created a lifelong telepathic bond between the two of them, and basically all of Solkar’s descendants were later obsessed with humans, including freaking SPOCK, so I’m not saying that handshake was so gay and good that it created an intergenerational telepathic bond between Solkar’s descendants and humans, but I’m also not….not….saying that.
The slow deliberation with which Solkar takes Cockrane’s–I’m sorry, Cochrane’s–hand… The sheer sensuality witch which Solkar infuses an otherwise borderline impersonal social ritual… It clearly shows a very conscious knowledge, on Solkar’s part, of what the significance of the handshake is in Vulcan terms and of how affected he is by it.
That’s why he’s so slow in doing it, and so sensual. A part of Solkar can’t believe this is happening, despite it being a perfectly logical thing to expect from a human, and the rest of him can’t believe how good it is.
I bet that if the camera zoomed in any further we would see the dilation of Solkar’s pupils and a quickly-repressed shiver of delight. Cochrane’s firm, businesslike clasp is probably (in sexual terms) being perceived as a deliciously carnal display of dominance.
No wonder Solkar is all like, “TAKE ME, YOU WILD-MANNERED BARBARIAN WITH ENTICINGLY ROUGH CALLUSES.”
And so we find out that yes, there is such a thing as bottoming in Pon-farr.
Every time this post comes round my dash, it just gets better.
My AP Psych teacher from high school keeps binders and notebooks with dicks drawn on them to use as visual aids for the Freudian unit.
One time she did this life changing little “experiment” where she ever so calmly asked guys why they draw penises on things. They tried to say “it’s just funny” or “you don’t understand” and she just kept saying “you’re right, I don’t understand. Explain to me. You already know what a penis looks like, why do you have to draw it on things? Are you marking it? Are you tagging it? Girls don’t draw vaginas on things.” And the guys suddenly started questioning their motives for everything they do and one guy was like “ms, stop talking about penises, you’re making us uncomfortable.” And she shouted “HOW DO YOU THINK WE FEEL SEEING DICKS DRAWN ON STUFF ALL THE TIME?”
Utroba Cave in the Rhodope mountains, Bulgaria. Carved by hand more than 3000 years ago (?), it was rediscovered in 2001.
Archeologists
hypothesize that an altar built at the end of the cave, which is about
22 m deep, represents either the cervix or the uterus.
At midday, light seeps into the temple through an opening in the ceiling, projecting an image of a phallus on to the floor.
When
the sun is at the right angle, in late February or early March, the
phallus grows longer and reaches the alter, symbolically fertilizing the
womb before the sowing of the spring crops.
These people were drawing dicks on the ground with the sun in 1000 BCE. All you fools messing with Sharpies need to step up your game.
“Hee! That looks kind of like-”
“Come on, self, don’t make it weird. It’s just a cave.”
just moving along like everyone else 