nice – Page 10 – just moving along like everyone else

vastderp:

thatferrybroad:

unrepentantauthor:

necoho:

settling-entropy:

literaryfirearms:

arstotzka:

This is how you play a wizard.

Professionals have standards. Be polite. Be efficient. Have a plan to kill everyone you meet.

Always have a plan. Always. And never tell a soul. 🙂

Damn.

Making notes…

This thread is unreadable to my ancient eyes, but is thankfully archived [ HERE ].

Have a free transcription:

what is the evilest thing you’ve ever done in a game?

“… A buddy of mine went off to college a few years back and ended up sharing an apartment style res with four other gamers. At first they were pretty cool guys, until I was invited to game with them. The entire lot of them were THAT guys, playing anthromorphic characters, being chaotic randum, one player had a custom made vampire race that was stupidly OP and only had a LA of +1. Shit had to stop and I knew that it was my duty to stop it. I played a LE human wizard who specialized in the creation of magical items, his character concept was that wealth was often equal to power and what better way to make cash on the up and up then by creating and selling gear catered to adventurers and the elites. Another quirk of his was that he kept a grimoire on him in which he wrote the names of those he and the party had slain, if a name was unavailable he would write a brief description, approximate age, and location of death. Whenever they’d stop in a major city he would copy the most recent additions and deliver it to the mortuaries, as an act of respect to the dead. I actually made this book in RL, and filled it out after every fight.I went full out on this guy and regularly made the parties equipment for ¾ of the cost it would have taken them to buy it, often giving discounts if it suited both of our needs for them to have the better gear.

My only stipulation was that my loot be kept on me, and not with the parties funds.

By the end of the campaign I was several levels under the party but had a huge stockpile of gold saved up to buy a nice island somewhere and live the good life. We finish off an evil draco lich that was bent on world domination and are about to go our seperate ways when the party barbarian stops my character and demands that I give them back the gold they paid for their equipment or he would kill and take it from me. I tried to reason with the rest of the party but they were all being greedy fucktards, It was four vs 1 and I wasn’t allowed spells from outside the phb, so none of the fantastic bullshit of celerity could save me, and the barbarian would unquestionably beat me on initiative if it got to combat. Resigned to my fate I did the only thing I could do, and spoke to them one last time.

“Lalilulelo” Our clerics armor suddenly burst into sunlight, the barbarians weapon animated and began to attack him, while his armor locked in place freezing him on the spot. The rogue was disintegrated on the spot as his gear spontaneously blasted him with magical rays.

Within a round the party was dead or incapacitated, save for my character, who calmly approached the frozen barbarian as he was hacked apart by his own weapon, pulled out his book and flipped to one of the first entries. As I described this I pulled out my copy of the book, and did the same, turning it so that the rest of the table could see where there names had been scrawled on the day I had met them.

“There was never any doubt in this outcome. I knew your greed would overwhelm you and took the necessary measures to stop you when it did. Perhaps if you had simply let me go things wouldn’t have gone just as planned.”

The table just kinda stared at me in silence. I didn’t play a very talkative role in the campaign, and usually kept what I did separate from the party pretty brief. They hadn’t even known my alignment, as my evil deeds were usually of the subtle sort, such as unfair contracts and manipulating the party into doing what I had planned. After the final fight I gathered the loot from the dracolich’s hoard, including the materials and instructions required to make a phylactery of my own. The campaign ended with my character getting the credit for saving the continent and being lauded as a hero, the others were quickly forgotten, as I claimed that they had fallen under the influence of the dracolich and been destroyed. The only legacy they left were their names scrawled in my book.”

Smug self-delighted players who get a kick out of being pointlessly nasty because ‘it’s just a game’ are the worst. Like dude. Bro. Your power fantasy says things about you.

I’ve been lucky to have never had one of these dolts in a group with me, the worst i had to deal with was a nerdlich who repeatedly bragged that with his stats he could “Beat Belldandy” (lol) but I’d welcome them if someone like OP was also there. Dat payoff.

miracu-less:

melonmemes:

The spirit of a Generation

You’ve gone too far.

jumpingjacktrash:

literaryfirearms:

arstotzka:

This is how you play a wizard.

Professionals have standards. Be polite. Be efficient. Have a plan to kill everyone you meet.

now THIS is a supervillain.

suicidepokecheck:

I posted a still photo of this earlier, but it’s way cuter in motion. (x)

yanderechild:

lights-camera-assbutt:

alliekitaguchi:

THEY DID IT AGAIN

IS MOM EVER COMING HOME?

THEY’RE PLAYING DARUDE- SANDSTORM AJSHSSL

jumpingjacktrash:

jumpingjacktrash:

thebestworstidea:

jumpingjacktrash:

you know the trope of the old retired warrior squeezing into their armor for one last fight?

i just had a mental image of me digging up my old leather jacket and my bass guitar and giving myself a mohawk at the kitchen sink, and joining a party of old adventurers as the punk bard. pretty sure i still remember the bass line for ‘wave of mutilation’.

which really should be a dnd spell, btw.

oh!

it is always the warrior that does it isn’t it? I really like the idea of some other class (retired) gearing up for one last adventure. But I suppose the thing is, Warrior is one of those classes that might retire? Wizards just get more wizardy after all, monks get more monkey you don’t expect other classes to stop and take up another job the way warriors do.

even the trope of the bad ass old gunslinger is essentially a warrior, isn’t it?

gonna think on this if you don’t mind.

i mean, not every old bard settles down to open a guitar shop, but we can’t all be henry rollins. 😀

was going through my gaming tag and found this, and it got me thinking on the trope some more. the old bard would have different challenges than the old warrior. the old warrior has skill and patience and combat reflexes, but is no longer as fast or strong as they once were. the old bard, though, unless they have arthritis in their fingers, they’re only going to get better and better.

imagine a story that kinda leads with the old-warrior-comes-out-of-retirement trope, and he’s got his old adventuring party with him. the wizard just got more wizardy, after all, so the narrative has to sideline that guy early on to maintain the challenge. the healer’s still trucking too, but uses up half her spell slots every day just keeping the rest of them upright. the rogue’s fingers aren’t so quick anymore, but she’s the wiliest creature alive. the bard knows all the songs; ALL of them. together they get the warrior to his Fated Last Battle, but there’s one more obstacle – a penultimate group of villains who have a goddamn rock star of a young bard who challenges the old bard to an improv duel. no old standards, grandpa; just music versus music.

the young bard is fast, REALLY fast, death metal fast, and pulls out all the stops devil-went-down-to-georgia style. he weaves a bewildering wall of power, a wild wailing force of pure rage. it seems like there’s nothing the old bard can do against that. even if he could pick that fast, he doesn’t know that style, he’s a support guy, what can he do? but he looks really calm as he brings his guitar around and sits down on a handy chunk of rubble.

young bard: you’re SITTING DOWN? you better take me seriously, old man! *plays even faster*

old bard: … all right, son, if that’s what you want.

blue smoke coils around the young bard’s fires and extinguishes them one by one. somewhere in the wreckage a neon beer sign flickers fitfully, even though neon hasn’t been invented. everyone finds themselves nodding. when the final chord falls silent, someone says, quietly but with feeling, “yeah.” the young bard is appalled to realize that it was him.

the villains stand aside to let the heroes go through. the old bard touches his hat and the young bard nods. it’s like the song says: ain’t no shame in being beaten by a master.

notbecauseofvictories:

……..also while I firmly believe that T’Challa, Nakia, and W’Kabi went to the same schools that all children in the capital city attend (because Wakanda isn’t about to socially stratify its educational system—rich or poor, royalty or no, all children from all tribes attend the Wakandan schools) they also had a whole bunch of additional lessons. As royalty and de facto nobility, they were being raised with the expectation that they would one day rule, so they were stuck in lots of boring English/French/Mandarin lessons; lessons on the laws of Wakanda and the intricacies of the Council’s etiquette, etc.

And then, when they’re a little older they have combat and warcraft; statecraft lessons with the Dora-in-training, and this is when they meet Okoye. She’s a gawky teenager—taller than all of them, she had her growth spurt first—who scowls whenever they whisper or giggle in class. (She is not from the capital city, her Wakandan still accented; later they learn she traveled hundred of miles with nothing but her pack, just to come before the head of the Dora and throw herself on her knees, begging to be considered. She has sweat and bled for it, and she thinks they are not taking their duty to Wakanda seriously enough.)

Still, despite being stiff and disapproving, she’s smart, and fierce; the other Dora-in-training seem to look up to her and like her. (They also have gone disapproving and haughty when it comes to the Trio.) However, maybe a year into their lessons, the Dora-hopefuls play a hilarious prank on their Modern Politics instructor. It involved a jackfruit, a pun on the Wakandan word for colonialism, and their teacher’s inability to remember anyone’s names; it was extremely funny.

And T’Challa, Nakia and W’Kabi are floored when they discover it was Okoye who planned it—they didn’t think she had a sense of humor, or was capable of something like a prank, even if it was a hilarious and generally harmless.

They decide they like Okoye immensely, and she should be their friend. They put their heads together, and carefully plan charm offensive—behaving in class so she doesn’t glare at them, asking to sit with them and eat with them; inviting her to the market with them and encouraging her to tell stories. The Dora-hopefuls live in the barracks, so they cannot invite her to sleep in T’Challa’s rooms, the way W’Kabi and Nakia often do, but they would have her study with them there.

This, they think, is a good plan.

She looks spooked, the first time Nakia asks her to sit and eat with them in the gardens beyond the Dora training building. Okoye sits cross-legged and stiff, barely touches her food, her eyes darting around as though she is a trapped animal. When Nakia reaches out—just to indicate the tattoo on her shoulder, ask about its meaning, she was not going to touch her—Okoye flinches.

Keep reading

thunderboltsortofapenny:

professorsparklepants:

thelovelylights:

feistyfrank:

thegestianpoet:

dxphni:

hellyeahrihannafenty:

Tom Holland does Rihanna’s “Umbrella” on Lip Sync Battle

I’m literally zendaya reacting like he didn’t have to go that hard and yet..

every time i watch this when the reveal hits and he starts dancing i’m like “oh ok that ain’t a big deal he’s just another celeb doing a gimmick” but somehow by the end of this video without fail i am filled with respect for him and zendaya for being like…a powerful gen z couple who both give off chaotic bisexual vibes

i think it’s the irreverence with which he splashes the water

that was a classic that was a classic

It’s a good time to remember that Tom Holland is a trained dancer and that initself is a gift

He’s trained in ballet, too, which is what makes this even funnier. I saw a video (also with Zendaya in it) of him doing like, fifteen fouettes in someone’s basement. GET A MAN WHO CAN DO BOTH.

The standing forward flip deaddrop is just #iconic

hobosolo:

theamazingsallyhogan:

17mul:

mighty-mouth:

Colonizers gone colonize. 😂😂

@lmsig

In December of 1940, America still hadn’t entered the war.

There were a lot of Americans – such as the 800,000 paying members of the America First Committee – who looked at fascists massacring their way through Europe and declared “that’s not our problem.”

Captain America was created by two poor Jewish Americans, Joe Simon and Jack Kirby, with the specific intent of trying to convince Americans that entering the war was the right thing to do. It wasn’t easy – Kirby went far beyond what was expected of artists at the time, penciling the entire issue with a deadline that would have been difficult for a two-man crew to pull off.

Captain America punched Hitler right on the cover, at a time when a majority of Americans just didn’t feel like doing anything decisive against the Nazis.

Kirby and Simon faced considerable resistance for their creation, including steady hate mail and outright death threats.

Once, while Jack was in the Timely office, a call came from someone in the lobby. When Kirby answered, the caller threatened Jack with bodily harm if he showed his face. Kirby told the caller he would be right down, but by the time Jack reached street level, there was no one to be found.

Both creators enlisted after America entered the war. Kirby, as an artist, was called upon to do the extremely dangerous work of scouting ahead to draw maps. He also went on to co-create Black Panther in 1966.

They didn’t create Captain America to be an accurate depiction of America-As-It-Is. The character was meant to inspire and embolden, to show America-As-It-Should-Be.

The subject of where the Vibranium for the shield came from actually never came up for decades of comics, until it was finally addressed by Black Panther’s writer, Christopher Priest, in 2001. Priest never shied away from acknowledging America’s racism, but he also understood that Captain America represented an ideal, intended to inspire Americans to be better.

The story mixed together a “present day” discussion between Cap and T’Challa with flashbacks to when Cap met the Black Panther ruling Wakanda during World War II.

FLASHBACK:

PRESENT:

PRESENT -> FLASHBACK

PRESENT:

The Vibranium was given, freely, by one good man to another good man.

It is right to rage against the injustices done by our governments. We must call them out, and we must fight for what’s right.

But if you can’t even stand to see the symbols created to inspire people to be better, and rail against those, then you’re just confusing cynicism for realism.

This was a masterful callout that deserves a place in the callout hall of fame, which I just realized needs to exist. It strikes the perfect tone of, “I’m not criticizing where you’re at on this, I’m holding my hand out and inviting you to step up to the next level in your thinking about it.”

That’s the kind of callout that people can sometimes actually hear, not just for entertaining the bystanders. Truly, we need more of this.