so i’m still thinking about the update and how dex’s reaction to the double dibs is …not just a joke. like yes it’s defs part of the enemies to friends to lovers thing that nursey and dex seem to have going on and it was humorous (i laughed) but i also keep coming back to this specific piece of dialogue right here:
and like the “–i can’t.” gosh i just…idk if i’ll say this right but those two words /kill/ me. cause this is dex still coming to terms with himself, still grappling with that internalized homophobia, imo at least.
we’ve seen this sort of develop as we’ve seen more of dex: there’s been that baking euphemism that first popped up in “tadpoles” when he offensively uses baking as a metaphor for being gay in reference to bitty. in the tweets, he had that moment when he asked if “1 in 4 maybe more” was really true, which i think he was talking both about others (the internalized homophobia is alive and well my friends) as well as himself in that moment (another way of him asking “am i gay?” without knowing how to).
but then he’s also shown to have regular convos with shitty talking about politics and gender and whatever else comes up. that baking metaphor comes up again: he bakes at hausgiving (“my brother won’t let me live this down”). he’s rethinking this world-view he’s been fed (his brother not letting him living baking and what it represents down suggests there’s a lot of homophobia at home) and challenging his position, starting to think differently.
then in the year 3 tweets the baking euphemism yet again: dex likes baking, he’s good at it, it’s something that makes sense to him, he helps bitty out in the kitchen regularly. while a very indirect way of saying it (maybe i’m reading too much into it lol), but if we follow dex’s original comparison of baking=gay, ngozi seems to be suggesting to the reader that dex is now no longer just accepting others, but that he is also gay and starting to accept himself. he’s starting to be okay with himself, and some of that internalized homophobia is chipping away.
that brings us to “dibs flip” which most people have interpreted as dex and nursey reacting to rooming with their crushes which isn’t a faulty interpretation imo. ngozi sarcastically suggested she doesn’t ship the frogs, and she’s talked about nursey and dex’s relationship in the same coy way she has talked about zimbits before they were canon. (whether nurseydex happens before bitty graduates is debatable but i think ngozi wants us to pair the two romantically). so anyhoo what i’m saying is: nursey and dex like-like each other lmao.
and dex’s reaction here screams some form of that remaining internalized homophobia. “–i can’t”: he can’t deal with these emotions he’s feeling – he hasn’t dealt with them cause it’s scary and it’s one thing to hypothetically be into dudes…it’s quite another to specifically want to kiss one and to have to live with him and see him all the time everyday.
this is way long what happened but i just. wow!! i feel a lot about dex learning to love himself especially in regards to this update cause he’s getting there but he’s still scared and unsure and boy!!! okay
Upon reflection, I’ve come to the conclusion that the problem with Homestuck – insofar as it’s reasonable to assert that there’s a singular “problem with Homestuck”, anyway – is that it’s trying to pretend it doesn’t have a point.
There’s a fine line between deliberately frustrating audience expectations as an authorial stance, and keeping everything suspended in a state of perpetual “irony” because otherwise the narrative would have to emotionally commit to something, and, like, caring about stuff is for losers.
Paradoxically, this might actually be a big part of the reason it managed to cultivate such a robust fandom at is height; when a narrative refuses to have an opinion about anything it’s showing you, you can read anything you want into it. It’s only when it actually has to construct an ending that you realise everything you found relateable about it was just you seeing shapes in the smoke it was blowing up your ass.
(That metaphor sort of got away from me there.)
The hell of it is that I don’t think it’s actually as vacuous as it pretends to be. It’s not that it doesn’t have anything to say; it’s that it doesn’t want to admit that it has anything to say. Insofar as it falls apart at the end, it’s not through a lack of imagination or a failure of narrative rigour, but through a conscious refusal to take the next step – even if that means literally ending the story mid-scene, because continuing even one moment longer would oblige it to commit to some sort of emotional resolution.
I LOVE HOPELESS ROMANTIC MIDORIMA SO MUCH, YOU HAVE NO IDEA.
I love everything about this headcanon. Well, I know that some people think Takao would be more open about his sexuality and interest towards Midorima, but I think the other way around makes more sense. Because Midorima doesn’t really care about what other people might think or say, but Takao is more of a careful guy when it comes to that in my opinion, and he is a people-person, so I believe he may hide his true feelings about Midorima when the time comes. Despite his “tsundere” nature, Midorima is bold, and more obvious in ways than Takao has ever been before. So I’ve always thought that it would make sense if Midorima would be the first one falling for Takao, and Takao realizing that he has feelings for Midorima after a while.
I mean, let’s remember that time in the audio drama cd where Midorima was telling him to come closer to test out their compatibility, and he didn’t mind it one bit being so close to Takao, while Takao basically “freaked out” about it, saying it was “gross”:
M: You don’t understand. Come here.
T: Huh?
M: Shut up and come here.
T: Eh? Uh, like this? [takes a step]
M: Closer!
T: [grumbling] This is gross, man! [takes another step]
Umm okay that got long, but yeah, I really love this headcanon.
Midorima’s the kind of guy who does something and really just doesn’t care, I’ve always seen it. Lucky items are weird? Oh well, at least they meet their intended purpose. I see him as someone with a very specific general daily routine. It could quite possibly fall under OCD. Suddenly there’s this guy who kind of starts slowly weedling his way into his life. Popular, playful, good with people where he himself just doesn’t care to make the effort in that department. I’m almost 100% certain he one, didn’t understand why he was being – what he felt to be – followed around, and two, thought the guy was utterly ridiculous and tried to block him out as fast as possible. True to Cancer nature, he has some very, very high walls.
What I headcanon though is that Takao didn’t initiate their contact to be nice. He pushed close to be noticed, and because he knew it led to, at some point (often) Midorima getting absolutely livid for reasons he thought were pretty funny. He was a funny guy to him. He didn’t expect playful spite and his desire to be acknowledged after being defeated in middle school (which honestly I feel he probably held that grudge pretty close to his heart at first) to morph into friendship.
Midorima does stuff like that and utterly confuses him and – yeah he thinks it’s completely gross. Hell, he probably thinks he’s disgusting the first time he lets himself think about that guy, who by most people’s definitions is kind of a total freak, in a sexual way. Of course, walls built high, Midorima will literally bide his time until he knows for certain that Takao won’t turn him down. He’s the kind of person who would rather wait forever than be rejected.
MAN I MADE IT LONGER, I’M SO SORRY. I GOT EXCITED AND HAD TOO MUCH TO SHOVE IN AN ASK.
In my opinion, Takao sometimes uses teasing and laughing as a sort of a defense mechanism. The manga, being a shonen jump series and all, following some stereotypes; shows a rather more typical approach to the characters so they usually use the same “characteristics” and act the same most of the time in the manga. Like, Midorima is often shown as this “horoscope freak and usually grumpy tsundere” and Takao is shown as this “teasing and bubbly, happy-go-lucky” character. So I am forever grateful for all these extra stuff, because you get to see the depth of the characters. And that’s why the more I read about Midorima and Takao’s interactions, the more I see that Takao is often the one who barely shows his true feelings. He either uses humor and teasing, or he just freaks out and stutters. Midorima is much bolder about that in my opinion, so that’s why I’ve always found it easier to write Midorima in fics, compared to Takao.
Also from what I’ve gathered in these recent 3ds game translations, Midorima can be highly cooperative and caring. So I can’t just put him in a typical “tsundere” category, because he openly shows his caring side at times. I mean, compared to Takao, who do you think shows his true intentions and feelings more? I would definitely say Midorima. He is open, direct, somewhat bold; even when he is in denial, because you can understand when he is in denial and when he’s not. But with Takao, it’s not always completely crystal clear. He teases Midorima, but does he always do that because he likes it? I don’t believe it, because he also knows his boundaries and knows when not to push it too far, he knows when to stop. So he is aware of things happening around him, and for him to take a step back when necessary shows that he truly cares. That’s why I can’t be sure of his actions most of the time. But it’s obvious that he can get serious and can read Midorima so well, that’s a side of Takao I truly love.
Compared to Midorima, who usually hides his caring side more and covers it with boldness and harsh attitude; Takao hides his serious side more and covers it with teasing and humor. And that’s another thing I love about them, because it shows that they are not one dimensional characters, and there is much more to them than just being stereotypes.
how blindfolds and restriction of vision are associated with helplessness and captivity but represent reclaimed agency and identity for terezi…
how dare you induce homestuck related emotions into my cold flesh prison in November 2016. how dare you
Don’t they represent blind justice? As in she should make the work of justice despite if there are feelings or familiarity with the person being judged? Didn’t she go blindfolded again when she decided to kill Gamzee, regardless of her personal conflictive feelings about him, to do parcial and detached, pure justice?
things can mean more than one thing at the same time
yes the blindfold was yet another notch for terezis already pretty heavy handed lady justice incarnate parallels.
her disability was a huge part of her identity. terezi becoming seeing again stripped her of a very essential part of herself. when she dons the blindfold and goes after gamzee its a reclamation of who she was before her abuse and downward spiral as well as a hit back against her abuser. the blind justice schtick was part of her identity and sense of self as well so. layers.
also, note that the symbol of justice is a woman with sword, scales, and blindfold — not a blinded woman. it indicates a choice to do justice without prejudice, not a lack of a choice. terezi choosing to reclaim her disability foreshadows her choice to devise the retcon and to use her mind powers (which literally focus on seeing choice!) to create a more just timeline, therefore furthering the blind justice symbolism, her abuse recovery, her personal development, and the upcoming plot.
just moving along like everyone else 