The Director leans forward over her desk, her face drawn and intent. “So I suppose you’re wondering why I called you three in h–”
“Actually, Madam Director,” Taako interrupts, “I’m wondering how you got this lavender tea so right.”
The Director blinks. “I simmer the lavender blossoms in a saucepan with water and honey, because I’m not a fucking barbarian. Twenty minutes, dash of vanilla, the whole thing. Anyway–”
“It’s good tea,” Merle pipes up.
“Thanks, Merle. So–”
“Hold up, hold up. Holllld up.” Taako actually raises his hand. “How– okay, I mean, what the hell, that’s exactly how I make lavender tea, how’d you know?”
“I know everything, I’m the Director.”
“Are you spying on us?” Magnus says, suddenly interested.
“I can, uh, no, I can’t confirm that, or, deny, that horrific breach of employer-employee confidentiality. I probably just know that stuff because of all the cool superpowers you get when you’re in charge of a secret moon-based operation.”
Merle waves his hand enthusiastically. “Hey, what’s tattooed on my butt!”
“Kenny Chesney, which I know on account of you came into my actual office with your whole entire ass hanging out.”
“It was like three quarters, max,” Magnus says. “Hey, what’s my favorite tea?”
“You think tea is for chumps.”
“I do,” Magnus says, earnestly pleased.
“Does anyone have any non-tea related questions?”
Merle waves his hand again. “Do you know about our secret st—“
“Taped under Magnus’s bed. Yes.”
“Aw,” Magnus says to his tea.
“For someone with such extensive woodworking proficiency, I really thought you’d have, like, a secret drawer somewhere,” the Director says thoughtfully.
“Hey, taped under the mattress is a classic,” Taako says.
“It’s very, mm, very college hijinks, reminiscent, very Animal House.”
“Bullshit, you never watched Animal House,” Merle says.
“I may— I might have. You don’t know.”
“Name one— name one scene! Just one! Gimme a quote!”
“I don’t have to, because I’m your boss. Can I get back to telling you about your new incredibly important mission to save the whole— basically the whole entire world, already, or do you want to waste more time playing Fantasy fucking Trivia?”
The three Reclaimers look at each other, and then Taako uses mage hand to pour himself more lavender tea.
“What’s Merle’s favorite tea?” he asks, grinning, and the Director drops her face into her hands.
“Chamomile,” she says, in the grave, sorrowing tones of one who must bear the unbearable, year after thankless fucking year. “He thinks it’s sexy.”
I had a dream set during the Gerblins arc where Magnus kept trying to make awkward small talk and ask the others about themselves.
Taako was annoyed by it and sarcastically said “okay guys, how about we just stop the whole adventure and get to know each other better?”
Merle looked off into the distance and said “there used to be so much time for that.”
And the others were like “what” and Merle was like “what” and they shook it off and never mentioned it again.
And now because of that dream I have a headcanon that Merle “forgot his own last name, twice” Hitower Highchurch has a memory that’s already so full of holes and folds and blank spots that occasionally one of those holes works the other way around and he briefly has a thought like “this is worse than that mushroom planet” or “didn’t Magnus always used to wear red?” pass through his mind, only to immediately be forgotten again.
On rare occasions while the thought is in his head he’ll make an odd comment that others brush off and forget just as quickly.
And yes, he once called Taako Lup by mistake. Taako didn’t react and it didn’t stir any memories but later he looked down and realized he’d been clutching the handle of the Umbra Staff so tightly that the tiny raised pattern at the top had left a deep indentation in his hand.
I was re-listening to the Gerblins arc and at one point Merle says (to two people he’s supposed to have just recently met) “Can we talk? I feel like I don’t know you guys […] I just feel like we’ve grown apart.”
And obviously it was just goofing as is the case for 90% of the things that are foreshadowing in retrospect but that’s all I needed headcanon locked the fuck down.
Im 78% sure that when N03113 mentions liched Merle joked about being good friends with some liches
Merle’s brain: uselessly shouting vital information
The first time Merle actually tries preaching to someone and he fails so bad that by the end of it he’s trying to convert them by telling them god’s going to run them over with a train
just moving along like everyone else 