no similes, we die

mihashi: (says something)

tajima: yeah i know right!!

abe:

anyone: (says anything)

abe:

stores to cry in, rated

wal-mart: pedestrian, boring, you can do better. 2/10

target: a slightly better crying experience than wal-mart. the scent is strangely comforting, the lights however are too bright and make for a slightly unpleasant cry. there is however oftentimes a starbucks and a mini pizza hut inside for you to drown your sorrows in. 6/10, points for optimal post-cry atmosphere

an apple store: absolutely not. people cry in the apple store all the time because they cant afford the latest rose gold bullshit apple’s put out. overdone and cliche. 1/10

publix: points lost for the sterile and inhospitable environment but if you cry in a publix a gator WILL smell your tears and come to eat you. being eaten by a gator is in fact slightly preferable to crying in a publix. 6/10 for the gator

whole foods: an excellent place for a cry, people will probably assume that you are a wealthy emotional person who cant decide between quinoa or couscous and are having a real problem with it. 8.5/10

nordstrom: plenty of chairs for collapsing into especially in the shoe department but you WILL be accosted by salespeople. they work on commission and are hungry for your money. 7/10 for style

ikea: OPTIMAL crying destination, can climb into a bed and have a total mental breakdown and nobody will ever be the wiser, the employees WILL NOT bother you under any circumstances, comfortable and accessible, 10/10

hot topic: no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 0/10

words-on-pages:

Fanfiction appreciation post 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

The Signs As Horned Animals

keranos-god-of-storm-crows:

ayanak:

Aries:

Taurus:

Gemini:

Cancer:

Leo:

Virgo:

Libra:

Scorpio:

Sagittarius:

Capricorn:

Aquarius:

Pisces:

Last year I would have seen this post and just thought it was cool, but it can’t hide it’s fucking sins from me anymore.

ahiddenkitty:

prokopetz:

The only thing that really bothers me about Internet meme culture is that I can never use the phrase “oh, really?” with anyone of my generation without knowing that they’re picturing that godforsaken owl.

mashedpootato:

i’m a sucker for the AUs where John accidentally drops into the alpha timeline (or whatever it’s called??) and meets Alpha!Dave somehow 😮

One man. One Lord. One faith. One Baptism.

alienpapacy:

TWO NUNCHUCKS

zimmseric:

check, please! + text posts (3/?)

the signs as weird shit they did in d&d

aries: broke a temple on the first meet, which later became crucial to defeating one of the major bosses.
taurus: created a small army of tamed animals to fight for them.
gemini: exploited the rules to get a rocket pack for another player.
cancer: tried to boss everyone around but ended up arguing with themselves.
leo: made shipping charts. for everyone. killed wild animals and ate them instead of bothering to buy rations.
virgo: became a vampire. somehow convinced the dm to let them wield a chainsaw.
libra: took lawful neutral to new levels. licked everything as a free action.
scorpio: pushed taurus off a cliff. twice.
sagittarius: used a bow the entire time, even though they didn’t have proficiency with it.
capricorn: fucked around for most of the campaign. somehow became part of the main villain?
aquarius: kept killing all of the npcs, even though they clearly weren’t supposed to.
pisces: had civil conversations with cthulhu.