Steve Rogers uses voice to text to send texts and formats them like a telegram
HEY BUCK STOP SAM AND I ARE OUT SHOPPING STOP WANT US TO PICK UP SOME TAKEOUT STOP
Steve rogers fully understands that this is not the correct way to text. He just likes the absolute outrage it causes every time someone receives a text from him and wants to see how many times he can make the same people explain texting to him until they realize. Sam is currently at 14 times, beating out tony who’s at nine. Twice now shuri has facetimed him after reading bucky’s texts. He’s also managed to convince thor that this is the Earth Way to text and it’s great
I love this HOWEVER steve does it to sam like twice before sam is like, “you’re just being an asshole aren’t you. captain america is a fucking troll. do you know how much of middle america you’re disappointing right now, steve.” steve gives him a giant shit-eating grin before asking if he’s gonna tell the others and sam just says, “are you kidding this is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen; the other day tony almost threw his phone out a window.”
I think it’s overlooked sometimes how political Guardians of the Galaxy 2 actually got.
Thor Ragnarok and Black Panther are both about an evil thing, colonization, taking something not yours to take and fashioning it to your own needs. But Guardians 2 forms the first part perhaps of Marvel’s anti-colonization trilogy. Ego is the ultimate colonizer, having no purpose in his life other than taking things and making them into more of himself. To this end he’s become the ultimate eugenicist, too. Every time he creates offspring – potential second versions of him, not even people in his eyes – he tests them and if they’re not what he wants he kills them. He’s a slaver (he owns Mantis in every way that matters) a killer, a manipulator, an absolute monster behind a smiling face.
There’s a running theme in GOTG 2 about the evils of treating people as things.
The Sovereign do this too – they’re gold in colour, but they’re essentially white supremacists. (The slight satire of them also being basically really hardcore video gamers, who sit behind drones and make mass murder into a competition, was not lost on me either.) And Yondu, Rocket, Gamora and Nebula are all where they are because they were treated as things – slaves, experiments, disposables. The movie explores their traumas, and makes it clear that they’re justified in their rages.
GOTG 2 does with Ego what Infinity War somehow didn’t manage to do with Thanos, and completely and utterly kill the monster at the end of its story. Peter is granted by Ego all the power he could possibly want, as well as the promise of the family he’s always craved. But once he discovers that it’s all built on bones, he rejects it utterly, even at what he thinks is the cost of his own life. Ego’s not given an ounce of mercy or sympathy, not even from Peter, his own son.
Essentially GOTG2 follows almost an identical path to Thor: Ragnarok – a god (alright, demigod in Peter’s case) discovers that the powers granted to him came from a place of evil, and rejects them in favour of something better. Those two films and Black Panther form an epic “dismantle oppressive systems, even if they benefit you” triple-bill.
k why is this gif the funniest shit i’ve ever seen it makes me feel like i’m entering another plane of reality
ok guys I haven’t been able to stop thinking about this gif since I saw it and I just need to unpack its various elements for a second:
1. the central tension of this scene, obviously, which is thor realizing jeff goldblum dicked down his kid brother
2. the fact that jeff goldblum either apparently never learned how to wink OR is trying and failing to bat his eyelashes
3. the way loki opens his mouth as if to try to explain himself to thor and then looks back at jeff goldblum and decides, nah, we’re good, there’s no coming back from this one
4. the fact that whoever made this gif decided this scene wasn’t hysterical enough on its own and added dramatic telenovela zooms
5. the combined effect of all of these elements being that not only can I not stop thinking about this gif but also I hear the kill bill siren whenever I look at it
when the mcu tries to gently Just Good Pals steve and bucky i want to laugh at them because, like. they were the ones who structured their arc, from the very beginning, as a story about leaving a plucky sweetheart behind in the states when you ship out. it could have been lifted wholesale from practically any wartime romance filmed between 1940 and 1950. “i just wish they’d take me into the army too– i’d go with you, show that fuhrer a thing or two– just promise me you’ll take care!” “darling, don’t worry, you can do your part right here at home– it’s ever so important to the war effort!” it’s the theme of fucking “tender comrade” and “since you went away” and “mrs. miniver” and i could go on and on
the part where steve gets turned into a tall dangerous hillshire farms beef log is the surprising science fiction twist; but the part where he grumps about being Left Behind by a uniformed hottie is 1000% period-accurate romantic dramedy that could have been screenwritten by david o. selznick. i’m sorry mcu i don’t make the fucking rules. this is just how it is. give them their v-e day kiss already and let me rest
also THEY are the ones who put a searching-for-romance subplot in Winter Soldier where Steve says he just can’t find anyone with “shared life experience” 30 minutes before his lifelong best friend who is also a super soldier and was also frozen and also missed the last 70 years comes back from the dead
like what the fuck did they think they were trying to convey there
Say, Thanos, I recall you telling your adopted space daughter (who you routinely abused, by the way) that her home planet of Zehoberei was now thriving because you killed half its population – including her birth mother – because ‘balance was restored’.
Do you know what I think about that?
I think it’s nothing more than a
BIG
FAT
LIE!!!
So apparently her planet prospered to the point everyone spontaneously died? Troll-logic yourself out of that one, you insane oversized prune.
Actually in the Gamora comic it’s stated that another race came in and destroyed the rest of her people. Thanos then let her kill the royal family of that race that ordered the death of her people as a birthday present.
“as a birthday present”
Would that race have been able to kill the rest of the Zehoberi people, if they hadn’t been half dead already because of Thanos? Maybe not….
My point exactly. The war against Thanos would have severely weakened Zehoberei’s defense forces even BEFORE Thanos halved them. Add that to the infrastructure loss, societal collapse, and mass panic caused by, oh I don’t know, HAVING HALF OF THEIR POPULATION MURDERED RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEIR FACES, Zehoberei would never be able to recover even on its own. The second invaders were just a catalyst for their damnation.
just moving along like everyone else 