Lucretia had definitely had taako’s elderflower macarons before the candlenights episode like they’re one of his signature recipes and she had loved them for 100 years
BUT she also knew that they were his own, secret recipe that no-one else knew so she was like ‘hmm ok if i eat one i have to be sure to react like i’ve never had one of my favourite macarons before, if he thinks i’ve had them before he’ll get suspicious, ok Lucretia just… act… natural’
& long story short that’s why ‘hot diggity shit that is a baller cookie’
Lucretia, mentally: nailed it
Taako: haha the whole recipe is in my book!!
Lucretia: …
Lucretia: this pretense has been wholly unnecessary
*later*
Lucretia: *leafing through a newly purchased copy of taako’s cookbook trying to commit to memory which of his recipes she can and cannot admit familiarity with* okay okay okay this is fine okay
*still later*
Lucretia, sweating: *pointing at recipe for a dish taako made almost every week on the starblaster* hey taako… this looks… good… could you make it??
Taako, drinking a milkshake, only half listening: do i look like i work for free
Magnus: why don’t you just make it yourself there’s instructions right there
Lucretia: um
Taako: the director’s a terrible cook
Lucretia, panicking: how do you… know that..
Taako: i can smell it on you
Tag: lucretia
The Director leans forward over her desk, her face drawn and intent. “So I suppose you’re wondering why I called you three in h–”
“Actually, Madam Director,” Taako interrupts, “I’m wondering how you got this lavender tea so right.”
The Director blinks. “I simmer the lavender blossoms in a saucepan with water and honey, because I’m not a fucking barbarian. Twenty minutes, dash of vanilla, the whole thing. Anyway–”
“It’s good tea,” Merle pipes up.
“Thanks, Merle. So–”
“Hold up, hold up. Holllld up.” Taako actually raises his hand. “How– okay, I mean, what the hell, that’s exactly how I make lavender tea, how’d you know?”
“I know everything, I’m the Director.”
“Are you spying on us?” Magnus says, suddenly interested.
“I can, uh, no, I can’t confirm that, or, deny, that horrific breach of employer-employee confidentiality. I probably just know that stuff because of all the cool superpowers you get when you’re in charge of a secret moon-based operation.”
Merle waves his hand enthusiastically. “Hey, what’s tattooed on my butt!”
“Kenny Chesney, which I know on account of you came into my actual office with your whole entire ass hanging out.”
“It was like three quarters, max,” Magnus says. “Hey, what’s my favorite tea?”
“You think tea is for chumps.”
“I do,” Magnus says, earnestly pleased.
“Does anyone have any non-tea related questions?”
Merle waves his hand again. “Do you know about our secret st—“
“Taped under Magnus’s bed. Yes.”
“Aw,” Magnus says to his tea.
“For someone with such extensive woodworking proficiency, I really thought you’d have, like, a secret drawer somewhere,” the Director says thoughtfully.
“Hey, taped under the mattress is a classic,” Taako says.
“It’s very, mm, very college hijinks, reminiscent, very Animal House.”
“Bullshit, you never watched Animal House,” Merle says.
“I may— I might have. You don’t know.”
“Name one— name one scene! Just one! Gimme a quote!”
“I don’t have to, because I’m your boss. Can I get back to telling you about your new incredibly important mission to save the whole— basically the whole entire world, already, or do you want to waste more time playing Fantasy fucking Trivia?”
The three Reclaimers look at each other, and then Taako uses mage hand to pour himself more lavender tea.
“What’s Merle’s favorite tea?” he asks, grinning, and the Director drops her face into her hands.
“Chamomile,” she says, in the grave, sorrowing tones of one who must bear the unbearable, year after thankless fucking year. “He thinks it’s sexy.”
Tonight’s aesthetic before I fall asleep: Fixing that weird Lucretia Wonderland thing where she gives THB exactly ZERO useful info before they head into a nightmarish hellscape. I’m willing to bend characters around narrative necessity to a degree, but that feels so weird and off to me – there’s no way Keesha wouldn’t’ve given them AMPLE INFO, right?
So let’s try this on for size:
Lucretia’s not the only one who’s escaped Wonderland. There aren’t very many, but eventually it’s inevitable that a few fish slip the net. Part of the price, then, is your silence. After escaping Wonderland, you can’t speak about it. Can’t tell anyone what happens in the fairy light tent. You just swallow hard and open your mouth and nothing comes out. Your fingers stall out on the page, the pen drops from your fingers.
And so it is that Lucretia, who kept her secrets so well that even her family didn’t know what she was capable of, didn’t know how much pain she was in, is cursed with her own inability to communicate writ large.
She wants to tell them (she wanted to tell all of them, wanted help, wanted them to stop her before she dropped the journals into Fischer’s tank), but she can’t. For once, she actually can’t.
And the silence, and her shame, lodges in her throat like a stone
Oh. THIS is an interesting concept. (and Lydia and Edward fucking with Lucretia’s head is something I’ve thought about a lot)
You guys ever think about how Magnus and Lucretia were barely in their 20s during The Stolen Century?
They were only kids, man.
i think about lucretia comforting angus whenever thb’s stones go quiet during missions a lot
Kat told me about the theory that Angus is Lup and Barry’s child and I gotta say as there’s nothing I can recall that definitively disproves this, I dig it. Yeah it’s cute as shit but mostly because of the possibility that dear sweet precious Ango was created via mad science and/or black magic.
#taz#Lucretia walks into Lup and Barry’s room#there’s a large pentagram on the floor and they’re in the middle of an eldritch ritual#some real Fullmetal Alchemist shit#Lucretia: what are you two doing??#Lup probably: we’re having a baby!#Lucretia: …well this isn’t the worst thing I could’ve stumbled across
During the days after Here There Be Gerblins, Lup absolutely refuses to be let go of by her brother under any circumstances. However, due to her limited power in this situation, this manifests as the Umbrastaff falling over and rolling in Taako’s direction whenever he tries to set it down. Taako, presently in his Simple Idiot Wizard phase, fails to recognize that this is Not Typical Spellcasting Focus Behavior.
During the boys first night at the Bureau, the Umbrastaff won’t stop falling against the ladder to his bunk no matter how he sets it back up again and eventually, when he reaches down to fix it yet again, it turns and hooks around his wrist not letting him go. His reaction is simply, “Oh hey little buddy, wanna sleep with ol’ Taako do you? Hey I can’t blame you, who wouldn’t!” and pulls it up into bed with him and sleeps with the Umbrastaff like it’s a teddy bear.
It takes days before Lup lets Taako put her down and several weeks before she lets him out of sight when he’s not holding her. She almost panics when they ask for the boys weapons upon boarding the Rockport Limited and was never happier that she made her magic-absorbing superwand an inconspicuous umbrella than she was at that moment.
Everyone else just sort of accepts that Taako now has a magic umbrella that he has to hang on the towel rack when he takes a shower so it doesn’t constantly knock against the door of the bathroom for the entire time he’s in there. The best guess anyone has is there’s some charm on it that tied the Umbrastaff to it’s owner and a bit of that charm transferred over to Taako. (Lucretia secretly wonders if Lup had it charmed to find Taako if she perished, or if she charmed it to return to her and with Lup not present, the Umbrastaff thought Taako was close enough. Either way Lucretia is glad some part of Lup found Taako again after all these years, even if it’s not under the most desireable circumstances, unaware of the true extent to which she is correct.)
just moving along like everyone else 