This isn’t mentioned in Brotherhood, but the reason Roy and Riza came to Resembool scouting out the Elrics is because someone fucked up the ages on Ed and Al’s file.
Literally Roy and Riza are riding in the back of some horse-drawn carriage into Resembool chatting with the driver like “yes we’ve heard rumors of two alchemist brothers here, Ed and Al Elric ages 31 and 30 respectively. Do you know where they live?” And the driver pretty much answers with “lol what? Those kids are like 10.”
Except now Roy and Riza are already THERE so they decide “Fuck it. Let’s pay a visit anyway.”
So everything that went down in the series is thanks to some mysterious fuck up in the Amestrian Intelligence Department and I salute that person.
Bonus: He buries his goddamn face in the document at the end, like staring at it closer might make it less wrong.
if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live in the midwest, this is it.
You missed some of the best ones
the best part about it is that the art installation isn’t actually called the Bean. It’s called Cloud Gate, and artist Anish Kapoor (yes, THAT Anish Kapoor) hates that we call it the Bean.
But i mean, look at it. It’s a bean.
How could you forget this one though
I HAD NO FUCKING IDEA THAT THE BEAN WAS CREATED BY ANISH KAPOOR.
someone help me why is anish kapoor important what did he do?
Alright sit down for some Art World Drama bcause this is what I live for.
So, sometime last year (?) science invented Vantablack, which is the darkest possible shade of black. Art world got incredibly excited. But as it needs to be very carefully made in a lab, it’s hard to get a hold of, and is extremely expensive. Enter Anish Kapoor, aka FuckFace McGee. Anish Kapoor buys the rights to Vantablack. He is the only human being on the planet that can legally use it, and he’s kind of a prick about it.
Art world is not thrilled with that.
Enter Stuart Semple.
Stuart Semple is an artist, and also makes pigments to sell in his free time. Stuart Semple is astoundingly pissed about this Vantablack nonsense, and Anish Kapoor’s dickery. Stuart Semple makes a new pigment, the brightest shade of pink ever, called Pinkest Pink, and puts it for sale on the internet. To be bought by everybody except Anish Kapoor. Literally, to purchase, you need to confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, do not associate with him, and will not sell or give the pigment to Anish Kapoor or his associates. Art world has a good laugh, everyone buys Pinkest Pink because it’s awesome, and damn it we deserve something.
Anish Kapoor however is a penis, and will not take this lying down, because HOW DARE he not have literally everything.
Anish Kapoor gets his London associates to buy him a thing of Pinkest Pink, and being such a classy human being, posts a picture to instagram of him with his middle finger covered in Pinkest Pink, captioned with “Up yours. #pink”
Everyone flips shit, because. Y’know. Fuck that guy. Especially Stuart Semple. For context here, Anish Kapoor is one of the richest artists on the planet, and has repeatedly been referred to as everything wrong with the art world, and the epitome of the art worlds elitism problem. He’s a giant douchebag. Meanwhile Stuart Semple makes pigments just to get them out there. He turns 0 profit from his now enourmously popular pigments.
Stuart Semple launches an investigation as to who the fuck leaked Pinkest Pink, and plans to strike back. He does so by releasing two new products. First is Diamond Dust, which is a glitter made from glass, so that a painting is still visible after it’s applied, but glitters like a mofo. It’s the most reflective glitter out there, and is available to everyone who isn’t Anish Kapoor. And it being made of glass, if you stick your finger in there, it’s going to hurt quite a bit, so that was Stuart Semple’s way of saying “shove your middle finger in this, asshole, see what happens”. Except without saying that, because he can get an insult across while still being fucking classy.
He also releases Black 2.0, created with the help of over a thousand artists worldwide.
Black 2.0 is the answer to Vantablack. Black 2.0 is a slightly less black black, but looks functionally the same to the human eye. It’s completely safe, smells like cherries, and costs four pounds. Vantablack is highly toxic, potentially explosive, needs to be applied in a special laboratory and sealed properly, can’t be moved across borders, can reach 300 degrees celsius if you’re not extremely careful, and costs thousands of dollars. Anish Kapoor is the only human being who can use Vantablack. He is the only human being who cannot use Black 2.0.
So I think we can guess who got the better deal.
And thus the feud ends, Kapoor defeated.
…But not quite.
Kapoor, in this entire afair, has made exactly two comments to the public. The first being his charming message about aquiring Pinkest Pink, the second being claiming to Buzzfeed that he and his small army of lawyers will be suing Semple, an extremely poor artist who cannot afford a lawyer.
No lawsuit has been made yet, fyi.
The point is, Kapoor is a prick, and doesn’t like talking to the lower classes. So one day in July 2017, he decides he needs another floor on his London studio apartment, and starts making arrangements to have it built. His neighbors are fucking pissed, because this will ruin the light of their apartments. They call to Semple to save them, or at the very least piss Kapoor off some more.
Semple answers to the call, and releases two new paints, Phaze and Shift, as always, banned to Kapoor. They change colours, Phaze with temperature, and Shift is just iridescent. Shift needs to be painted over Black 2.0 to work, and Phaze just works on its own.
So that’s been the art world for the last two years.
Basically, get fucked Anish Kapoor your bean sucks and so does your vantablack.
and kapoor hates it when people call it The Bean so of course we never call it anything else
R2D2 communicates in a language consisting exclusively of swear words which can somehow still transmit meaning. Like Mat.
EXACTLY 😀
“I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO REMEMBERS THE EVENTS OF EVERY MOVIE I’LL SAY WHAT I LIKE”
R2 IS GONNA GIVE U A VERY FOULMOUTH PEPTALK LUKE AND UR GONNA LISTEN TO HIM
“hey fucker, long time no see, you got a single CLUE how much SHIT i’ve gone through for your shitass family? go ahead and guess. Because I can asure you, what you’re going through is nothing by comparison, and I NEVER RAN AWAY”
your bored-at-work Mass Effect thought of the day:
The way Krogans make fun of humans on the battlefield ought to be a lot more indulgent sounding than it is. Next to Krogans, humans are probably one of the most warlike races in the galaxy.
“But,” you say “what about the Turians. They’ve got a whole government-religion thing around war.”
No they have a whole government-religion thing around the military which is totally different. They do the whole conquering, compulsive-serving thing, squad mentality, which is great during a war but I wouldn’t call that being warlike. They’re too obsessed with rules and regimentation as a general, like. Thing. They’re about that stuff.
Humans, however, are ready to throw down. They’ll meet you in front of the Krogan memorial statue for an ass kicking. They’re ready to pull hair over someone sliding into their partner’s dms. They’re ready to fuckin go.
If Krogans are like mastiffs, bred for war and muscle, humans are those little yappy dogs who are ready to fling themselves into a fight without regard to life or limb and are fully convinced that they’re Big and the Boss. Krogans should absolutely complain about how squishy we are but I’m begging u, bioware, let it be a fond complaint. I want to hear a krogan companion watch me biotic charge myself into a knot of enemies and yell “Look at ‘er go! Atta girl!” and then admonish me to remember my armor more often.
just moving along like everyone else 