So my new English professor is my uncle only he has no idea because he hasn’t talked to my mom in about 20 years so do you think is should tell him
You know what nevermind he’s a dick I’m going to talk to my mom to get dirt on him so I can blackmail him if the need arises
You should write a story about a boy for an assignment and include loads of life details about him that your mum tells you so that it’s obviously him but change all the names then hand it in and be really confused if he questions you about it
It kinda blew my mind to learn today that “thou” was actually an informal form, and “you/ye” was the fancy one
Now whenever I see “thou” I read it in a tone kinda like “y’all” in tumblr posts and like… 1600s bible verses were supposed to be perfectly frank, not stilted. this changes everything………..
“Listen, then, if y’all have ears!” – Jesus, maybe
I got so sick of the cheesy Christmas playlist at work so I snuck in a version of All I Want For Christmas Is You where half way through the vocals change to Welcome To The Black Parade
Watching the customers slow down and squint in confusion is giving me life.
I think one of my favorite stories I’ve ever heard Mark Hamill tell is the one about how the first time he heard the score for A New Hope he got sort of jokingly offended because it seemed like every other character had a specific song for them and he didn’t and John Williams just looked at him and said “…The main theme is your song” and Mark was like “WHAT OMG” like he didn’t actually understand before that moment that he was the protagonist.
Plus, since Harrison was a traditional leading man, and I hadn’t read the screenplay, I thought he was the star of the film, and that I was Bucky to his Captain America, that I was the kid sidekick. Because in the screen test that we did, I was kind of annoying and he was so cool. But I’ll never forget, I remember the chair I was sitting in, the one-bedroom apartment looking out at the beach looking at the sundown of the ocean, and I couldn’t believe it. I was thrown for a minute. I thought, “Wait a minute.” Because on the front page, it said “The Adventures of Luke Starkiller.” [Lucas soon changed the last name.] I said, “Wait a second. I thought I was Luke. Oh, Harrison must have been Luke.” I started reading it and then I got to where they’re describing me and I said, “Wait a second. I’m Luke!” I didn’t think I was the star of the movie, I thought it was just from my point of view.
people on here give yoda a lot of shit and say that he was a bad mentor but i’d like to contest that Yoda is and has always been cool as hell and the real problem was that in the days of the Republic he was forced into a shitty managerial position, where he had to worry about paperwork and massive unauthorized clone orders and vetting chosen ones and shit like that when really all he wanted all along was to be a delightfully shitty impish little grandpa living in a hut giving cryptic advice to teenagers
Like remember that episode of the Clone Wars where the jedi council finally tries to put yoda in a retirement home because he starts talking to Qui Gon’s ghost and yoda calls anakin over like “hmmm…. friends, we are, young skywalker. help me escape this silly place, you must. in it for you, a handful of Werther’s Originals is” like that’s who Yoda is, at his core, and the stifling weight of Force monk bureaucracy took that away from him
Hand to god if all of the like administrative work of running the Jedi Order had been left to someone just slightly more competent and business savvy like IDK Mace Windu or Plo or Luminara or even That One Guy Who’s Allowed To Fuck and yoda had been allowed to scamper off and just like, occasionally impart funny wisdom to jedi children and cheekily break all of the rules in front of them, this Darth Vader shit would have NEVER happened. Instead Anakin would have had the fun-loving, devil may care, “as long as in the house, you do it, young Skywalker” Bad Grandpa influence he desperately needed to balance out frazzled and terminally high-strung Teen Dad Kenobi
Anakin is out on one of the Temple balconies just stewing angrily about his sexual frustration towards Padmé and how Obi-Wan keeps warning him that he will be expelled from the Jedi order and then thrown into a big pit of lava if he ever even talks to a girl and that makes him sad and angry and emotionally confused, when he notices tiny little old man Yoda’s hobbling over to stand next to him with a knowing expression on his face.
“Forbidden emotional attachments, we both have,” Yoda winks at him and pulls out a box of cigarettes. “To nicotine, mine is”
“Wish to save your mother from a life of unlawful bondage on Planet Shit, you do. Very well. Feel like being bad, I do. Tell anyone I am helping you, you must not. Murder me, the rest of the Council would. ;)”
honestly “it’s appalling; i need it” is like the driving force of humanity what a MOOD i mean. whither this compunction? what deep hole in humanity’s collective psyche did it crawl out of?
also i don’t even LIKE chocolate but i think i need a slice of this
I think it’s a survival of the species thing. Like, every once in a while one of us loses our shit and does something we definitely should not, and if we survive it then we can tell everyone else “hey this thing is survivable” and if we don’t, we are a cautionary tale to the next generation.
But it used to be like, the first person to try eating an artichoke or the first person to try persistence-hunting a cheetah. Now that most things we encounter won’t kill us, we resort to stuff like this just to make sure we’re trying every possible angle to ensure the species continues even if we do not.
imagine one day spidey is held up by the new york city police department, and he’s expecting the same old bullshit of “this stupid spider menace vigilante blah blah blah” like the cops in queens always say to him, but instead he’s met with a 30 year old brooklyn cop who is less concerned with peter being a vigilante, and is more concerned with peter’s powers. he won’t stop asking peter about his spider powers, how they work, how he got them, how he would rate them on a scale of “cool” to “toit”
and finally peter gets a word in edgewise and is like “not that this isn’t refreshing compared to the way the police usually treat me, but what kinda cop are you again??” and the cop is like “i’m actually a detective, jake peralta from the 99th precinct. anyways can you summon an army of spiders or is that just a rumor?? oh my god can you talk to them, can you ask the spiders if they like die hard??”
this is a fic i wasnt aware i needed
As soon as I read “toit”, I said “Jake Peralta” froze, and felt my soul leave my body. Thank you for this.
Another idea: I just imagine Amy tracking Spidey down with evil villain level accuracy because she wants to get his autograph for Jake for his birthday.
just moving along like everyone else 