Tag: lmao

comesitbymyfire:

elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:

ree-duh:

blurryfaceinspace:

concept: the year is 2034. i walk into work with coffee in hand. coworker is wearing cool shoelaces and i compliment them absentmindedly. they look me dead in the eye and say, “thanks, i stole them from the president.” scalding coffee leaks out of every one of my orifices and i hide in the bathroom convulsing for the rest of the day

@elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey can you explain this i don’t understand

it’s this legendary horror post

it is physically painful to remember that people have continued to join tumblr since 2012 and that there are people–perhaps people reading this! right now!!!–who don’t have the foggiest memory of this fucking post.  this post haunted me, do you understand, i saw and heard this code used in REAL FUCKING LIFE, I CANT FKJCLNG HANDLE THIS

jumpboy-rembrandt:

jumpboy-rembrandt:

imagine: magnus giving an Anime Protagonist Speech and the bad guy is like rolling their eyes bc yeah this seems like something he would do but in reality he’s buying time as merle and taako rob the dude blind and then knock them out from behind before the three of them bolt

#magnus: and ill never stop fighting! because i know…i have my friends! #taako: [mouthing ‘hey do you want this cool sword?’] #magnus: yes! …they are always there for me

jumpingjacktrash:

bookish-but-corruptible:

theseerasures:

professorspork:

things I think about:

Chris Evans thinks Steve is a virgin, but Hayley Atwell is convinced Steve and Peggy consummated their relationship.

now, you might think a disagreement of such proportions would send fandom into a tailspin. whom do you believe? MUST WE PICK SIDES? IS THIS WHAT THE PLOT OF CIVIL WAR IS REALLY ABOUT?

luckily, the answer is simple

Steve and Peggy disagree on whether or not oral counts

#‘OF COURSE ORAL SEX COUNTS AS SEX STEVE. SEX IS ITS LAST NAME.’#‘IF YOU CAN’T GET PREGNANT IT’S NOT SEX’#‘WHO TOLD YOU THAT? BUCKY?’ 

“who told you that? bucky?” I’m dying 

steve went to catholic school. i’m not surprised.

thorinobsessed:

wombatking:

thorkyrie:

After everything that happened in Ragnarok, imagine Thor hearing about Steve and Tony’s fight and being like “Really?! Thats why you all stopped working together?! Just get over it! I did! I’m still friends with Loki and he’s betrayed me three times since breakfast! This petty mortal shit is nothing!”

Loki: “Can confirm, poisoning his mead right now.”

Thor: “Ha! I’ve built up an immunity.”

Now I feel I was cheated on Civil War

chippingthegoalkeeper:

thegoldengals:

chippingthegoalkeeper:

I have a lot of pet peeves but I think the biggest one is when people say things like “oh it’s such a small town, only 35,000 people” like bitch my town has 200 people, you need to pick a new adjective 

According to Wikipedia, a small town is 1,000-20,000 people. So although you are correct in stating that 35,000 people is not a small town (it is a large town), you are incorrect in thinking that you live in a town. You live in a village. You are a villager.

I…… don’t know what to do with that information……a villager…

lovesjustachemical:

mamoru:

turbro:

mamoru:

I had a dream that unless the teacher told us class was over, we were forbidden from going out the door. Our teacher was very forgetful, and maybe even malicious. After being forced to stay past sunset many days, my class decided we were going to break out every night. Eventually our attempts led us to discovering rifts in space-time where we could warp. So we never used the door. Checkmate.

the window

what? you going to critique my dreams? my subconscious creations, that I did by accident, while asleep? the chemicals in my brain? are you going to use your foul eyes and dissect all of the plotholes in my dreams? you going to critique the weather? harass the clouds? make fun of thunder for being off key? remind me to come to your house and shred your shoes

That response is fucking Shakespearean.