So. Today in class we assigned Macbeth roles to students to read. When I asked the class who wants to be Lady Macbeth, a young man raised his hand. I kind of stared at him like “Lady Macbeth,” and he nodded like “I know what I’m about ma’am.” So then the student who ended up as Macbeth raised his hand and said “HE’S THE ONE, HE’S MY WIFE!” So I said “yeah sure why not,” and the entire class period they were blowing kisses to each other and winking at each other, and every now and then Macbeth would say “I’m the luckiest man on Earth” and Lady Macbeth would put a hand to his chest, and be like “BABE!”.
I just stared at them, knowing that they CLEARLY have never read ‘Macbeth’ before, so… all this lovey dovey… I don’t know if I have the heart to tell them the truth.
Update:
Macbeth is absolutely willing to fucking throw down for Lady Macbeth. Has already threatened a wall, a desk, a few students, a textbook that was neither his nor Lady Macbeth’s, and me
Lady Macbeth is enjoying the attention and has begun to use this new connection to his advantage. I’m starting to suspect he’s read ahead in the play.
Macbeth is going to end up living in detention at this rate.
Macbeth has no idea that he is the tragedy of the story. Claims to be the hero of the play, fails to see the irony in this
Macbeth slowly scooted his desk across the classroom to hold hands with Lady Macbeth. He was not subtle.
Macbeth has proposed on several occasions. Lady Macbeth just laughs and says they’re already married.
Macbeth’s girlfriend is in the class with them and is “totally not jealous or anything just thinks this whole fucking play is a waste of time”
Lady Macbeth should probably be a theatre major at some point, he fucking rocked Act V scene I
Other teachers and staff are emailing me about the “lovely lords”. Lady Macbeth now refuses to answer to anything other than Lady Macbeth and is always very upset when people don’t call him by his proper title.
honestly “i’ll do whatever you want” “then perish” is the single most powerful exchange possible in the english language and it’s from some bizarre “hewwo” obama rp
And there was that other post where someone dreamt that Obama said “violence for violence is the rule of beasts” like what is it about Obama that makes people come up with such raw fucking dialogue for him
my mother had a dream where he lived in the forest and she had a cigarette with him and he said “to become god is the loneliest achievement of them all” and put it out and walked into the mist and i’ve never fucking forgotten that
I once dreamed that a giant meteor was headed for earth, and the government had set up loudspeakers throughout the cities so Obama could give a final address – I’ll never forget how strangely comforting it was when he said “there are places we’ve never been before. Some of us have never been to the Alps, some of us have never been to Marrakesh. The next life is simply another place we’ve never been before, and we’re all going to go explore it together.”
I had a dream where I told michelle obama that I wanted to be her when I grew up and she responded by saying “The closest you can get to being me, my dear, is being you.”
oof it has been brought to my attention that there’s another cirava moisturewave comic out there, but i spent far too many hours googling “vaporwave” and finding copyright-free images to just delete it so i just wanna let yall know:
Bathrooms that place their mirrors in such a way that you’re forced to either look yourself in the eye while you pee or demurely cast your gaze away are engaging in a power game that I, while pissing, do not have the capacity to win
I love everything about this post. the language, the eloquence of the grammar. the startling contrast of imagery, and overall extremes of emotion. the best written thing i’ve read all month is a tumblr post on being forced to watch yourself pee.
Thank you, I accept this award with the dignity and humilty with which I wrote this post, on the toilet in a public bathroom at a Popeyes, trying not to look at myself
i love that one old timey 1910s trans dude who has a tiny wikipedia page for himself that he earned entirely due to him starting fights in bars and being the city’s hottest casanova
2day my linguistics professor asked people to name some ships bc she was talking about morphology & how ship names were an example of blending and the room of 100+ people was completely silent bc who wants to expose themselves?? until this one person was like “umm johnlock” and i heard someone behind me go “oh my god……. i hate this”
Your linguistics professor is a coward if they didn’t lead with a personal low to warm up the room. Start with snupin and work up from there
Bahud wive hudmena Hudwive hen Mosta gan mawafen Yfaudut
[vocalization]
Wenahm hl’t Wellahmgunnabi Gunnabi huz weloutiu Wenahm hl’t Wellahmgunnazhri Gunnazhri dakai nowiyu A kwunk gela gunnabi Gunnabi hu gowiyu Ena kluk kom gonnabi Gunnabi ahu kowaiu
Gona ahus ko we’i
Budhud wive hen Manahud wive hun Mosta gan mawafen Yfaudut
[vocalization]
Adud wive hen Mena hud wive hen Jasta du muwafen mehaldi tu
just moving along like everyone else 