“My character had had his larynx ripped out by this wolf man, and so I made the slightly bold choice—which I thought was right—of talking like this,” Redmayne says, putting on the breathy, choked affectation he uses throughout the film. He adds that at the time he thought the voice suited the costume and elaborate sci-fi world of the film, but in retrospect can see that it may have been a bit much. “I won a prize for it for the worst performance of the year,” Redmayne adds, referring to his 2016 Razzie award for Worst Supporting Actor. “So, yeah, it was a pretty bad performance by all accounts.”
Eddie, sweetie – you’re breaking my heart. You’ve got to ignore the basics. You’ve got to know that you gave a tremendously OTT and dialled up performance in a tremendously OTT and dialled up film (which I continue to love from the depths of my being). You gave no fucks and threw yourself into it, and because of that people love your performance. I can confidently guarantee that you gave the best performance as a vocally impaired intergalactic overlord with monumental mother issues and stomping lizard servants ever committed to film. Own it!
okay but we’re ignoring the most important part of this interview
“My character had had his larynx ripped out by this wolf man, and so I made the slightly bold choice—which I thought was right—of talking like this,” Redmayne says, putting on the breathy, choked affectation he uses throughout the film.
THE ENTITLED WHOSE THROAT CAINE RIPPED OUT WAS BALEM THE WHOLE TIME
LONGTIME CONSPIRACY THEORY #CONFIRMED FUCK YEAH
D-Did they ever say in the movie that Redmayne’s character had had his throat ripped out in the backstory?
Cause I feel like that voice/performance immediately becomes less bizarre once you fill in that particular detail.
okay so you’ve unlocked one of my top five special interests just be aware
so jupiter ascending actually goes hard on the infodumping (which is why I get really annoyed by criticism that it’s hard to follow – if anything, the criticism should be that too much is explained and not enough is left to the audience), but there is one thing that’s never fully resolved (but it’s not plot relevant so it’s not the biggest deal)
anyway, this is what we know about caine:
he was born genetically defective and was sold to the Skyjackers (like, Space Air Force? with rocket boots and angel wings?) by his creator for cheap
he managed to rise to be a great Skyjacker anyway, despite his genetic deficiency
~something~ happened where he ripped the throat out of an Entitled. WHY he did it or WHO the Entitled was is never explained in canon.
he himself has no idea why he randomly went berserk and tried to kill someone, but everyone blamed it on his genetic defects and he believes them
his belief in his own inferiority and inherently violent nature is why he tries to avoid a relationship with jupiter. this is the context for the “I have more in common with a dog than I do with you”/ “I love dogs, I’ve always loved dogs” scene and THAT’S WHY IT ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE IN THE TEXT, FOLKS
also there’s that whole romantic scene after jupiter becomes an entitled where she’s like “so I’m an entitled now, does that mean you want to bite me?” and caine’s like “uhhh no? ….actually maybe” and she’s like “go ahead 😉 😉 ;)”
for this he was stripped of his angel wings and exiled to a hostile prison colony planet until the events of the movie
so the fan theory for a long time was that balem was the entitled who caine attacked, and there’s an extension of that fan theory where one of his siblings – either kalique or titus, probably kalique because she’s way smarter – somehow mind-controlled or otherwise forced caine to attack balem as an assassination attempt, which is why he doesn’t remember why he did it
but ultimately it doesn’t actually matter to the plot? so it’s not a bad thing that it’s never resolved. but FAN THEORY #CONFIRMED.
Venom’s talk about being considered a loser on his planet, his quick fondness for Eddie, his pleasant surprise when Eddie first called them “we,” and his sudden switching of sides all lead me to conclude that like in the comics, movie!Venom is a big romantic sap that wanted a fairytale symbiosis with a perfect host and all the other reind- Klyntar can’t even deal with his nonsense.
No wonder Riot was so keen on finding him and getting him back on Plan Let’s Get Ready to Invade These Assholes. It’d been six months since he’d seen Venom, and he just knows that without supervision that fucking jackass has gone and fallen in love with the first son of a bitch that didn’t die on him and talked to him halfway decently and now he’s not gonna want to conquer the planet.
And sure enough, he’s not even surprised when Venom turns up all traitorous and married. He gives him one, fleeting chance to get in the fucking rocket, you lunatic, and then he’s just gonna fucking eat him. He’s tired of this, Venom. Absolutely done with this shit.
Riot: GODDAMMIT, VENOM, YOU ALWAYS DO THIS. LOOK AT HIM. YOUR TASTE IS GETTING WORSE.
Venom: HE GAVE ME TATER TOTS AND CALLED US “WE” AND “BUDDY.” WE KISSED IN THE FOREST UNDER THE MOONLIGHT. WE WILL HAVE SEVEN CHILDREN.
Riot: VENOM, DROP THAT THING RIGHT NOW, I WON’T TELL YOU AGAIN. HE SMELLS LIKE SWEAT AND FAILURE.
“Jesus christ eat the goddamn mac and cheese.” scowls the hero “I can hear your stomach growling through your armor, you know.”
The villain blinks “You-”
“Are feeding you, yes. If all I wanted to do was punch people and throw criminals in jail, I would’ve become a vigilante. Heroism involves kindness, dipshit.”
“Heroism involves kindness, dipshit” is the most amazing phrase I’ve ever read. I need to incorporate it into all my work.
This straight up sounds like something Spider-Man would say
if i had to get in a fistfight with any member of the fellowship it would be Frodo because i would easily win
all i am saying is that he would ostensibly be the easiest one to take on in a fight given that he’s like three feet tall and has led a life of (physical) leisure compared to all of the others due to his standing as a gentlehobbit
legolas, aragorn, and gimli are all used to combat, sam works as a gardener, merry and pippin often gallivant off and get into mischief so they have the advantage of experience in whatever it is they’ve gotten up to/would possibly fight dirty, gandalf is gandalf so while weapons are out of the question i suppose that depends on if magic is involved. i don’t think i could take him without magic even if he IS old because he’s a very large guy, but maybe
it would be my knuckles against Frodo’s baby soft poet hands, plus i’ve got the additional height and fighting experience. i just think that he would be the easiest to win against in hand-to-hand combat out of the rest of them. also he isn’t real so he can’t offer a rebuttal to my claim
you’re absolutely correct BUT wanting to fight Frodo makes you a monster D:
this has nothing to do with WANTING to fight Frodo, i just think he would be easiest for me to beat in a fight with no weapons. unless he utilized his very large feet, but i think he’s too polite to do that because it’s a fist fight and that would be considered playing dirty
for someone who doesn’t want to fight Frodo you sure have put a lot of thought into fighting Frodo……….
OP is wrong though: you fight Pippin.
First off, Pippin has it coming, so you won’t be fighting your conscience at the same time.
Secondly, Pippin is a spoiled rich kid. He’s no less gentry than Frodo is, but Frodo works out and is shown to have better stamina, at least at the outset. Pippin is also both the stupidest and the slowest of the hobbits. They both nearly beat one (1) troll, so that’s comparable, but Pippin appears not to have got a single hit in against the orcs that captured them while Merry was cutting off hands like a boss. Pippin also straight-up tell Bergil that he’s not a fighter.
Also there’s a nonzero chance that Frodo will just straight up curse you (if the guilt of fighting Frodo isn’t enough if a curse by itself).
And, of course, if you try to fight Frodo, you will 100% end up fighting Sam, and he will wreck you (and you’ll deserve it, you monster)
Also: if you fight Frodo you’ll have a very angry Sam & possibly also the entire Fellowship to deal with BUT if you fight Pippin they will probably cheer you on.
Bold of you to assume one could attempt to fight Pippin and NOT instantly be killed by Boromir.
So here’s the thing – you absolutely DO NOT want to try and fight Frodo or Pippin because they are going to be protected by the rest of the Fellowship, which basically exists to stop asshole Big People from picking on the hobbits. Folk might talk a big game but when the chips are down, you are not going to lay a single hand on any of the hobbits. Either you’ll find yourself immediately fighting all four of them or else you’ll move to land your first hit and suddenly Aragorn will side-tackle you into the trees. And he probably hits like a freight train tbh.
So here’s what you do:
You fight Legolas.
The thing about fist-fighting Legolas of course is that you will lose. This is not a fight you’re gonna win no matter what. But Legolas has his standing competition with Gimli, so once the challenge is issued, he’s not gonna let anyone else step in and fight you either. No one is liable to volunteer on his behalf, either, so you will only end up fighting the one member of the fellowship. If you are lucky he might also take his shirt off. Bonus!
Anyway.
Legolas will mop the floor with you, but he’s also already convinced you’re weaker than him anyway because you’re not an elf, so he’s gonna go kind of easy on you. And when you lose he will be all snide and superior about it, which means everyone in the fellowship is gonna sympathize with you, and Gimli will probably challenge him on your behalf afterwards, but here’s the key thing:
You will have lost a fist-fight to an immortal warrior prince.
That’s a way better loss to cop to than that time you tried to fistfight a pudgy gentlehobbit and got beaten to the point of unconsciousness by his gardener, yeah?
okay so tolkien tumblr is fast becoming my fave tumblr community thank you thank you all you are the true fellowship here.
just moving along like everyone else 