listen….. in one of our first ‘australian wildlife biology’ lectures we had a PhD student talk to us about their work on freshwater fish in the kimberley….. they literally got attacked by a crocodile there’s a photo of them grinning and one has a bandage wrapped around his head….. just fucking smiling all serene… dex is basically steve irwin and nursey is smitten
ok but..dex…in all khaki…and gross boots… who knows all these bizarre tricks to fend off mosquitoes who says “fuckin oath, mate” once a week…Nursey loves him.
has the photo of dex grinning with the bandage on his head as his lock screen.
Dex sees a hot guy and says ‘crikey, that’s a good lookin’ fella’. Nursey’s brain actually breaks. Partially because did Dex just come out to him??? and also partially because oh no is this a kink oh no oh no oh no
I’m kinkshaming Nursey tbh, he deserves it.
he can peel 5 prawns in 30 seconds and nursey is just mesmerised by dex’s hands he doesn’t even care they’re covered in prawn guts
I FOUND THE PHOTO have you ever seen anything more ridiculous LOOK THIS IS CHOWDER AND DEX JUST HAPPY TO BE THERE
FAVORITE THINGS: victor von doom doing a mental risk/reward analysis like “you know what? when this girl was fourteen she covered me in squirrels. have i rodent-proofed my shit since then? yes. am i in the mood to get covered in fucking squirrels again? literally never. god knows what new powers she’s found since puberty. let the little devil-imp take the goddamn time machine. fuck it. who cares. she’ll probably just end up using it to go back in time and tell herself to never come here. that’s how 90% of all time travel ends. another 5% ends with me as undisputed ruler of the entire earth. i’m not even giving her the good time machine. it’s the janky one. joke’s on her, the a/c doesn’t even work and the tapedeck is broken. doom, as ever, is the real winner here.”
Fifteen minutes later a waiter just comes out like “Uh, who ordered the middle-aged man shrieking ecstatically in German while being pounded in the ass by an enormous Russian?”
And you just have to put your hand up like, “I guess that was me. I, apparently, ordered that.”
(Meanwhile, the cook’s in the back throwing another plate on the counter like “A Red Oni trashcan and a Blue Oni trashcan in a hopeless Foe-Yay spiral, pick it up!”)
This post got recommended on my dash, and I was going to reblog it anyway because the title is such a well-made point about joining a fandom, but then I read the rest and realised that I KNOW THIS MENU. I HAD THE DAMN BUFFET EVERY DAY FOR FIVE YEARS.
They make the best shrieking German I’ve ever had.
My long-standing analogy for why I don’t do fic exchange fests is because my writing brain is like a restaurant called Eats. You know the kind – the sign is half broken, and there’s no real menu. You get whatever I serve that day.
Today’s dish is unrequited love with a side of unreliable narrator. Dessert is store-bought trash of the thing.
Reblogging my own damn post because two people added amazing stuff to it. 😀
Idk why Nursey and Bitty think that there’s any possibility that Dex will move back on campus? 1. Getting a room on campus (or even off-campus in a diff house) halfway through a semester is difficult as hell. 2. Dex is stubborn af and believes he’s in the right and that he earned this (honestly I’m on Dex’s side there) 3. I don’t have a 3 but 1 and 2 still stand.
3. Living in student residence is fucking expensive and if you end up with a roommate you can’t stand but are paying half, if not less, what you would have otherwise, you suck it up and deal by spending more time in the library or common areas and waiting for next year.
4. Dex would literally rather string a hammock up in the basement than admit defeat.
“keep shooting right at the breadbasket, man, i’m sure it’ll go through him eventually”
“yo, stripes, does your wife know you’re screwing us?”
after literally anyone touches bitty or nursey: “do it again and be ready to drop your fucking gloves, you fucking duster”
“hey tendy, we’re not playing dodgeball, buddy.”
to a fourth-liner before a faceoff: “hey, does your coach know you’re out here?”
after someone dives: “hey buddy did you just trip over the blue line? fucking bender”
also he has absolutely called someone a pigeon and then cooed at them
à la claude giroux
he only uses these chirps when he’s not actually that mad. when he’s really mad it’s all just “fuck you” and the occasional “drop your gloves, make my fucking day”
no one ever fights him bc he looks fucking crazy when he’s mad
he’s only ever gotten in one fight, actually, and the dude dropped the gloves on him bc he skated over to him after a shift and just laughed and said “bro, you’re terrible at hockey”
ransom and holster put it on the wall in the basement as the simplest and most effective chirp in SMH history
sorry for posting an entire long twitter thread but this is really good and important imo (caps are in order, click to read, original tweet is here)
I’ll add that the queer hockey comic they are talking about is Check, Please! which is also written by a black woman and doing absolute gangbusters on Kickster.
just moving along like everyone else 